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blackstargirl21 · Feb 18, 2008, 01:26 PM

My child's father doesn't pay child surport. And, now he doesn't even want to see his son. He is only 14months old. His father has seen him maybe a dozen times. Only for a couple hours here, and there. I don't know if it was possible to gets his right signed off. If he still owes the state money for his son. There is no point of him being on the birth paper work, or me telling, people who the father is. When we don't see any money, or no christmas, or birthday gifts from him, and now he just doesn't even want to see him. I don't need his help anyway. I have done just fine on my own for this long. Why, should I start needing him, now. Somebody let me know. What you think I should do. Thanks.

JudyKayTee · Feb 18, 2008, 01:39 PM

Originally Posted by blackstargirl21

My child's father doesn't pay child surport. And, now he doesn't even want to see his son. He is only 14months old. His father has seen him maybe a a dozen times. Only for a couple hours here, and there. I don't know if it was possible to gets his right signed off. If he still owes the state money for his son. There is no point of him being on the birth paper work, or me telling, people who the father is. When we don't see any money, or no christmas, or birthday gifts from him, and now he just doesn't even want to see him. I don't need his help anyways. I have done just fine on my own for this long. Why, should I start needing him, now. Somebody let me know. What you think I should do. Thanks.

No, he cannot sign away his rights.

If you want financial support, you have to file for it; if you don't want him to be part of your son's life just leave it alone and maybe he'll disappear in one fashion or another.

Is he on the birth certificate?

Unfortunately you cannot force him to be a "Dad."

George_1950 · Feb 18, 2008, 01:40 PM

If you marry and your husband wants to adopt, then you can request the court to terminate the father's parental rights. In the meantime, your child needs a father; perhaps you can persuade him to be involved in his child's life. Talk to a magistrate and see if there is a criminal statute for child support. Speak to a family counselor about family reconciliation. Always have hope for the best.

blackstargirl21 · Feb 18, 2008, 01:45 PM

Yeah, he is on all the paper work. I know I can't force him to be a father. I kind of like that fact that he isn't around. He does way too many drugs, and he can be abusive. He drinks all the time. And, he has his 4th baby on the way. With his 4th different women. He is only good for making babies, and then not taking care of them. That is way I wanted to see if I could get his rights taken from him.

JudyKayTee · Feb 18, 2008, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by blackstargirl21

Yeah, he is on all the paper work. I know I can't force him to be a father. I kinda like that fact that he isn't around. He does way too many drugs, and he can be abusive. He drinks all the time. And, he has his 4th baby on the way. With his 4th differnt women. He is only good for making babies, and then not taking care of them. That is way I wanted to see if I could get his rights taken from him.

Well, if he's a danger to your child then you certainly owe it to your child to make an attempt at supervised visitation only or no visitation at all -

But it sounds like he doesn't see the baby anyway -

blackstargirl21 · Feb 18, 2008, 03:39 PM

That is what I wanted to do was supervised visitations. I was meeting him up in public, and staying for a couple hours, or so. But, now he just doesn't feel the need to see him. I know it is better for my son not to be around him. It is just I wanted his right taken. Just in case something happened to me. I didn't want him to end up with his father. That wouldn't be good at all. He is living at his grandma's, with is mom, and his pregnant girlfriend. It is only a 1bedroom. He doensn't have a car, or anything to his name. I don't know if I could make a living will, and have it hold up in court, or what I could do so if something does happen. He just doesn't end up with him.

macksmom · Feb 18, 2008, 03:45 PM

Parental rights are RARELY terminated. And if there were grounds for termination, a judge will usually only do that if there is a spouse willing to adopt the child.

There really isn't much you can do.

If there is a court order for child support and he isn't paying then you need to go back to court and file contempt of court charges on him. Child support offices are VERY busy, and it is easy to fall through the cracks. You have to make your name known down there, and keep calling until something is done.

I have been through all of this... so I know the ropes. Bottomline, he is the father. You choose to have a child with this man. He has rights should he choose to act on them. Until there is a spouse to adopt the child, (which the bio father would have to consent to), you just have to try and make things work.

blackstargirl21 · Feb 18, 2008, 06:10 PM

I understand that he is his father. Which I don't like that fact. But, I don't choose to have a child with him. It just kind of happened. I just hope maybe that he stays gone out of our lives. It is a lot more peaceful with him not around. And, my son doesn't even know who he is. He calls, my best friends husband "dada". When he is around his bio father. He doesn't really want anything to do with him. All he says, is "mama". I don't know. I am so confussed, right now.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 18, 2008, 07:31 PM

1. Unless I missed it, you need a court ordered custody judgement, giving you custody, and him limited visitationrights.

2. you need a child support order in place, this is money for your child, not you, and it is not really your right to say your child does not need the money, it can be put in a college fund, a fund to start a business one day, or even a retirement account for the child if you dn't need it for actually raising your child.