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Home > Law > Family Law   »   Daughter ranaway to fathers

 
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Old May 15, 2008, 07:32 AM
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Daughter ranaway to fathers

I have primary physical custody of my 2 daughters to my ex husband, they are 14 and 17 years old. My oldest has gone to her fathers house on visitation and has not come home yet. I has been 5 days now and her father told me that she does not want to live with me anymore. She will talk to me, even come in my car and talk to me when I pick her sister up. My question is what can I do about this and how long do I wait. This all started because of her lying about a boy. I punished her for her lying and she ran to daddy because he will not punish her there. He has undermined my authority with both girls now. How do I get it back?

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Old May 15, 2008, 07:39 AM   #2  
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You file a petition in Family Court. You could try the police, but they often will not get involved in such things without a court order.
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Old May 15, 2008, 07:54 AM   #3  
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Hello p:

If she doesn't want to come home with you, the court won't make her. You're going to lose your right to her when she turns 18 anyway. Why make a stink for only a few months?

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Old May 15, 2008, 08:05 AM   #4  
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Does it make any difference that she is only a junior in high school? I know she will be 18 in Dec. but what about the fact that she still has 1 more year of high school?
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Old May 15, 2008, 08:26 AM   #5  
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Hello again, mom:

You make very good points... However, from a legal perspective (and this IS the legal board), she's going to be able to make her own decisions shortly. And, because I don't believe a judge will make her come back, she can effectivly make her own decisions now.

If she should come home, you're gonna have to convince her. You're not gonna force her.

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Old May 15, 2008, 08:38 AM   #6  
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Was a little curious what state you live in... most states give the child's opinion weight at age 12. And typically will give the child what they want regardless of school as long as the other parent is willing to change schools and pay or pay the extra money for the child to remain at their previous school and transport them(or they transport themselves if they are old enough to drive). The only way you can get your daughter back home if that is the case where you live to take it to court and have SERIOUS proof that the father is abusive. And even then if the daughter is serious about not coming home she can emancipate herself at age 16 in most states.

I would take what you can get at this point and be glad that there is still a relationship with your daughter. With age and maturity she will realize what is right and wrong. You cannot force her. And even if you COULD you would wind up making her dislike you even more. And possibly end your whole relationship for good.
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Old May 15, 2008, 09:54 AM   #7  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by achampio21
Was a little curious what state you live in... most states give the child's opinion weight at age 12.
I don't know about "most" states, but many states will give weight to the child's wishes in this matter. But only if they go through proper channels. A non custodial parent who allows the child to defy the court order is not going to win points.

The proper procedure would be for the non custodial parent to send the child back to the custodial parent while they file for a change in custody. The child can then voice their opinion at a hearing and a judge can decide what's in the best interests of the child.

In this situation a judge might very well rule for the custodial parent as providing the better environment of care and discipline.

But for the father to coddle the child and allow her to violate the court ordered custodial arrangment, isn't going to sit well with the courts.

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achampio21 agrees: I guess I was only looking at it from a one sided view. Thank you for the extra lens!! lol
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Old May 15, 2008, 05:15 PM   #8  
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at this point the father is interfering with legal custody and the daughter is basicly also a runaway.

Since the father is not going to court to get legal custody, it is possible to seek charges against the father ( from a legal standpoint) ** again depending on where you are at, since in GA a child can leave home at 17 is they want.
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Old May 16, 2008, 10:48 AM   #9  
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Well I looked into what the legal age to move out and Pennsylvania is actually one of the two states that sets the age of majority at 21 (the other is Mississippi). Unless there are loopholes, that means you need parental consent or legal emancipation to move out before you turn 21.
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Old May 16, 2008, 10:53 AM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pamom
Well I looked into what the legal age to move out and Pennsylvania is actually one of the two states that sets the age of majority at 21 (the other is Mississippi). Unless there are loopholes, that means you need parental consent or legal emancipation to move out before you turn 21.
Interesting, but its partially a moot point. She's not "moving out" per se, she's seeking to change custodial parents. But it does mean she can't just up and move until she's 21.

Her father can still petition for a change in custody, but its not going to look too good if he violates the custody orde.
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