Ask Me Help Desk - Custody upon death of a parent

Custody upon death of a parent

I have joint custody, legal and physical, of my 4yr old daughter, with her birth father. I understand if I was to die that he would obtain full custody then, but I was wondering if in my will I was allowed to nominate someone on my behalf to share that custody in place of me, with her father? I live in NY if that makes a difference? Thanks so much for everyone's time to read this...

Im sorry but children are not objects nor possesions. They can't be left behind in a will to someone. The laws of the state will dictate what happens and in this case the other parent would gain full rights unless there were outstanding circumstances barring them from custody.

You can nominate someone in your will, but it will not have the force of law. In other words, if the father wants sole custody, he gets it. He would not have to honor any stipulation you made in the will to share custody with anyone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

You can nominate someone in your will, but it will not have the force of law. In other words, if the father wants sole custody, he gets it. He would not have to honor any stipulation you made in the will to share custody with anyone.

Your answer helped tremendously. This is what I figured the case may be. Thanks so much!

Quote:

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Im sorry but children are not objects nor possesions. They can't be left behind in a will to someone. The laws of the state will dictate what happens and in this case the other parent would gain full rights unless there were outstanding circumstances barring them from custody.

I'm sorry but they most certainly are in will's and it's called GUARDIAN'S. You may want to educate yourself on this if you have children.

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Originally Posted by vcirish8

I'm sorry but they most certainly are in will's and it's called GUARDIAN'S. You may want to educate yourself on this if you have children.

Parent outranks Guardian in any court in the USA.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

Parent outranks Guardian in any court in the USA.

yes, I completely understand this. If you reread my post I said "to SHARE custody with" I'm not looking to erase her father in the event of my death. But I don't want my side of her family and my beliefs, morals and values to be erased either! I wanted to appoint someone from my side to be able to share in the raising of her so she gets my (her) family in her life as well. I don't want my side to die along with me. That's all to my post. No hidden agenda's to wipe out her father lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by vcirish8

yes, I completly understand this. If you reread my post I said "to SHARE custody with" I'm not looking to erase her father in the event of my death. But I don't want my side of her family and my beliefs, morals and values to be erased either! I wanted to appoint someone from my side to be able to share in the raising of her so she gets my (her) family in her life as well. I don't want my side to die along with me. That's all to my post. No hidden agenda's to wipe out her father lol

I also said " I understand her father would get full custody"

Quote:

Originally Posted by vcirish8

I'm sorry but they most certainly are in will's and it's called GUARDIAN'S. You may want to educate yourself on this if you have children.

I do know how the law is applied. And if you read exactly what I had said. In your case of the surviving parent the guardian doesn't apply.

You can ask for a guardian to be appointed and if the other parent is dead one will be appointed. The court can not take away the parents role and the guardian would not have any authority, even to see the child, but could over see money in your will if you let them be guardian of the money for the child.

A guardian would only have a place if the other parent is not alive.

You can not have a parent having 100 percent custody and a guardian at the same time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by vcirish8

yes, I completly understand this. If you reread my post I said "to SHARE custody with" I'm not looking to erase her father in the event of my death. But I don't want my side of her family and my beliefs, morals and values to be erased either! I wanted to appoint someone from my side to be able to share in the raising of her so she gets my (her) family in her life as well. I don't want my side to die along with me. That's all to my post. No hidden agenda's to wipe out her father lol

As was already stated... you can't do that... the other parent gets FULL custody with one parent dies as they are the surviving parent, they don't have to share.. and no court would make them share.

Like I said... parent outranks any guardian, however your side of the family doesn't cease being relatives. But relatives can't force visitation upon the other parent against their will.

My advice is make nice with the other parent now... then it might never be an issue to worry about. Its going to be in their hands if it ever happens.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

You can ask for a guardian to be appointed and if the other parent is dead one will be appointed. The court can not take away the parents role and the guardian would not have any authority, even to see the child, but could over see money in your will if you let them be guardian of the money for the child.

A guardian would only have a place if the other parent is not alive.

You can not have a parent having 100 percent custody and a guardian at the same time.

Gotchya! Thanks for the information. It makes sense I suppose.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

As was already stated....you can't do that...the other parent gets FULL custody with one parent dies as they are the surviving parent, they don't have to share..and no court would make them share.

Like I said...parent outranks any guardian, however your side of the family doesn't cease being relatives. But relatives can't force visitation upon the other parent against their will.

My advice is make nice with the other parent now....then it might never be an issue to worry about. Its going to be in their hands if it ever happens.

Thanks...

Quote:

Originally Posted by vcirish8

I'm sorry but they most certainly are in will's and it's called GUARDIAN'S. You may want to educate yourself on this if you have children.

Let me see, you came to this site to ask for help with something you didn't know about. Yet when you get answers, you argue.

Like I said, you can list someone as a guardian, but it would not have the force of law since a child is not property. Yes people list guardian in their wills, but that is usually to provide if there is no surviving parent. And its to make their preference known not with the force of law.