Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    vcirish8's Avatar
    vcirish8 Posts: 10, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 30, 2012, 11:47 AM
    Custody upon death of a parent
    I have joint custody, legal and physical, of my 4yr old daughter, with her birth father. I understand if I was to die that he would obtain full custody then, but I was wondering if in my will I was allowed to nominate someone on my behalf to share that custody in place of me, with her father? I live in NY if that makes a difference? Thanks so much for everyone's time to read this...
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert
     
    #2

    Apr 30, 2012, 12:40 PM
    Im sorry but children are not objects nor possesions. They can't be left behind in a will to someone. The laws of the state will dictate what happens and in this case the other parent would gain full rights unless there were outstanding circumstances barring them from custody.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #3

    Apr 30, 2012, 01:06 PM
    You can nominate someone in your will, but it will not have the force of law. In other words, if the father wants sole custody, he gets it. He would not have to honor any stipulation you made in the will to share custody with anyone.
    vcirish8's Avatar
    vcirish8 Posts: 10, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #4

    Apr 30, 2012, 03:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    You can nominate someone in your will, but it will not have the force of law. In other words, if the father wants sole custody, he gets it. He would not have to honor any stipulation you made in the will to share custody with anyone.
    Your answer helped tremendously. This is what I figured the case may be. Thanks so much!
    vcirish8's Avatar
    vcirish8 Posts: 10, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #5

    Apr 30, 2012, 03:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by califdadof3 View Post
    Im sorry but children are not objects nor possesions. They can't be left behind in a will to someone. The laws of the state will dictate what happens and in this case the other parent would gain full rights unless there were outstanding circumstances barring them from custody.
    I'm sorry but they most certainly are in will's and it's called GUARDIAN'S. You may want to educate yourself on this if you have children.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #6

    Apr 30, 2012, 03:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by vcirish8 View Post
    I'm sorry but they most certainly are in will's and it's called GUARDIAN'S. You may want to educate yourself on this if you have children.
    Parent outranks Guardian in any court in the USA.
    vcirish8's Avatar
    vcirish8 Posts: 10, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #7

    Apr 30, 2012, 03:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Parent outranks Guardian in any court in the USA.
    yes, I completely understand this. If you reread my post I said "to SHARE custody with" I'm not looking to erase her father in the event of my death. But I don't want my side of her family and my beliefs, morals and values to be erased either! I wanted to appoint someone from my side to be able to share in the raising of her so she gets my (her) family in her life as well. I don't want my side to die along with me. That's all to my post. No hidden agenda's to wipe out her father lol
    vcirish8's Avatar
    vcirish8 Posts: 10, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #8

    Apr 30, 2012, 03:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by vcirish8 View Post
    yes, I completly understand this. If you reread my post I said "to SHARE custody with" I'm not looking to erase her father in the event of my death. But I don't want my side of her family and my beliefs, morals and values to be erased either! I wanted to appoint someone from my side to be able to share in the raising of her so she gets my (her) family in her life as well. I don't want my side to die along with me. That's all to my post. No hidden agenda's to wipe out her father lol
    I also said " I understand her father would get full custody"
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert
     
    #9

    Apr 30, 2012, 03:49 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by vcirish8 View Post
    I'm sorry but they most certainly are in will's and it's called GUARDIAN'S. You may want to educate yourself on this if you have children.
    I do know how the law is applied. And if you read exactly what I had said. In your case of the surviving parent the guardian doesn't apply.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #10

    Apr 30, 2012, 03:53 PM
    You can ask for a guardian to be appointed and if the other parent is dead one will be appointed. The court can not take away the parents role and the guardian would not have any authority, even to see the child, but could over see money in your will if you let them be guardian of the money for the child.

    A guardian would only have a place if the other parent is not alive.

    You can not have a parent having 100 percent custody and a guardian at the same time.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #11

    Apr 30, 2012, 04:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by vcirish8 View Post
    yes, I completly understand this. If you reread my post I said "to SHARE custody with" I'm not looking to erase her father in the event of my death. But I don't want my side of her family and my beliefs, morals and values to be erased either! I wanted to appoint someone from my side to be able to share in the raising of her so she gets my (her) family in her life as well. I don't want my side to die along with me. That's all to my post. No hidden agenda's to wipe out her father lol
    As was already stated... you can't do that... the other parent gets FULL custody with one parent dies as they are the surviving parent, they don't have to share.. and no court would make them share.

    Like I said... parent outranks any guardian, however your side of the family doesn't cease being relatives. But relatives can't force visitation upon the other parent against their will.

    My advice is make nice with the other parent now... then it might never be an issue to worry about. Its going to be in their hands if it ever happens.
    vcirish8's Avatar
    vcirish8 Posts: 10, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #12

    Apr 30, 2012, 04:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    You can ask for a guardian to be appointed and if the other parent is dead one will be appointed. The court can not take away the parents role and the guardian would not have any authority, even to see the child, but could over see money in your will if you let them be guardian of the money for the child.

    A guardian would only have a place if the other parent is not alive.

    You can not have a parent having 100 percent custody and a guardian at the same time.
    Gotchya! Thanks for the information. It makes sense I suppose.
    vcirish8's Avatar
    vcirish8 Posts: 10, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #13

    Apr 30, 2012, 04:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    As was already stated....you can't do that...the other parent gets FULL custody with one parent dies as they are the surviving parent, they don't have to share..and no court would make them share.

    Like I said...parent outranks any guardian, however your side of the family doesn't cease being relatives. But relatives can't force visitation upon the other parent against their will.

    My advice is make nice with the other parent now....then it might never be an issue to worry about. Its going to be in their hands if it ever happens.
    Thanks...
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #14

    Apr 30, 2012, 04:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by vcirish8 View Post
    I'm sorry but they most certainly are in will's and it's called GUARDIAN'S. You may want to educate yourself on this if you have children.
    Let me see, you came to this site to ask for help with something you didn't know about. Yet when you get answers, you argue.

    Like I said, you can list someone as a guardian, but it would not have the force of law since a child is not property. Yes people list guardian in their wills, but that is usually to provide if there is no surviving parent. And its to make their preference known not with the force of law.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

In joint legal custody does can one parent get primary physical custody? [ 1 Answers ]

My child's father is in military and in order to get housing needs to show he will have baby for 50% of yr... in order to do so he needs custody but I'm not trying to give up my legal rights as her mother... what can we do?

Joint Custody, What happens if 1 parent is involved in accidental death ? [ 4 Answers ]

I currently share joint custody of my 6 year old daughter. Her father has her every other weekend. I am currently living with my boyfriend of 2 years- if I were to die tomorrow, who is entitled to the responsibility of my daughter ?

Can a parent who has neglected a child get custody from the other parent [ 2 Answers ]

My 8 year old sister was abandoned by her mother at the age of 4 and my step father is taking care of her. Would my mother be able to take custody of her? Even though she is on drugs and unfit?

Death of a parent [ 3 Answers ]

I'm 15 yrs old and I keep thinking about my mom. She keeps getting sick and isn't taklin care of her heal and when I do tell her to go to the gym or go walking she just yelles at me. I lost my dad when I was 5 and I don't want my mom to go. Now a days I've been thinking a lot of her goinng a way. I...

Rights of non custodial parent in a divorce wherein death occurred to custodial parent [ 2 Answers ]

Non custodial non US citizen parent (father) lives in Mexico. Custodial parent of two minor children (5 years old and 1 year old) is US citizen in Illinois. Divorce papers named father but set forth no requirements or terms for visitation, child support etc. There has been little if any contact...


View more questions Search