Hi folks, I need some advice myself now and hope you can help me.
Here's the story:
I usually have a 'gut feeling' about people, and knew that my daughters husband was not the right one for her when I was told they were going to get married, but kept in mind that children must make their own mistakes. Now, after seven years and my daughter wanting children and he being wishy-washy about it - thank goodness they don't have one, as they've been separated since Dec 2004.
Anyway, she met this young man in the Air Force, who she was selling her car to, and they automatically clicked and they live together now (by the way, my gut-feeling said YES about this young man)- he's still married too (she's also in the Air Force), but also separated for a year, and they have a son who she is starting to use as a weapon. She is due to deliver an artificially inseminated child (which he did not agree to and they were separated) but threatened him not to tell anyone that the child is not from him (which makes him look like the rear end of a donkey). Unfortunately they are both assigned at the same Air Base currently, but she's due to leave toward the end of this year. Anyway, he was not sure he could ever become a father again since he has arthritis and psoriasis, therefore making those 'little swimmers' weak due to the medication he has to take, but they hit the mark, and now my daughter is carrying his child, due in August. Both divorces have been initiated and they will take their time, but this 'lady' (being kind here) plans on putting him on the child's birth certificate, even without his consent, which will probably make him financially responsible for it. I know that the poor baby cannot help what the mother is doing, but doesn't the not-to-be father have any rights, after proving he's not the father? This woman manipulated him all this time, and is still doing so by threatening him and my daughter further. I was just wondering if any of you can refer me to any legal statutes or advice that will help the wonderful young man not get walked all over by a hateful woman who shows no mercy at this time. The only military legal people I know here specialize in medical malpractice cases and are not familiar with other military or civilian justice issues at the moment, and their library is not that adequate. Most laws, military or civilian should apply somehow here. If any of you know any military legal people you can ask, please would you get some scoop for me. I'd really like to help - naturally because I'm going to be the grandmother, but also because I don't' think he should be responsible for a child that is not his and be used by this manipulative person. So, hoping my AMHD family will be kind enough to pull resources together to help, and thanks for any assistance in advance,
Anxiously waiting for any help we can get on this, and sorry for being so long-winded, Chery

Desperately need some peace of mind. The 'lady' will probably move to Alaska, so how are the laws there?

orange

Sorry you're feeling bad Chery, and I hope you will get some good advice. All I can say is, if it's not biologically his child, I don't see how they can force him to support it? If that's the law, it seems pretty dumb. Like wouldn't he have to adopt it first???

Chery

I don't know anything about 'artificial' kids, but I do hope he has the right to have her give the child her name instead of his. She's such a witch with a capital B and Dan is such a good person. He's just preventing stress for Jaime and the baby now and am sure he's looking into solutions, but I'd like to do my share too. Thanks for your concern dear. My daughters husband is German and if the divorce is not final before the baby is born, according to German law the baby will have to have his name, but he can give the baby up for adoption, but she is also going to ask him for an earlier divorce tomorrow, so please cross all the fingers possible for us.

It's hard not to be able to tell all my friends and neighbors about me becoming a grandma because of the 'legalities' and possible stress involved at the moment, but we are trying to survive it.

nymphetamine

There are some states where it does not matter if the child is not yours. If the mama puts you down as the father on that childs birthcertificate then you gotta pay for it. One case I head of but I dont remember which state it was. This young guy gets taken to court for child support but its cant be his because this guy is still a virgin and never been alone with the girl but because the trifling you know what put his name down he had to pay. Fortunatly he got that situation fixed. There are all kinds of idiotic laws still in affect. Like in the state of Georgia do you know that if a womans husband dies then her children are to be taken away from her? That law is considered still in effect. They are just now talking about getting rid of it. I hope yall live in one of the good states. Good luck.

Chery

Right now we live in Germany, but my daughter's b/f and his soon to be ex lived in Alaska before they got stationed here - military law also applies, but I don't know enough about artificial insemination cases, as this is new, so I really need something legal on paper to be reassured. Thanks for your input, dear.

s_cianci

A simple DNA test should exonerate this man and relieve him of the responsibility for the child in question.

Chery

Thanks dear, although in the military, they are both residents of Alaska and he should have the right to expect the DNA before she puts his name on the birth certificate and expects him to pay for the baby. - All alternatives have been thought of and he plans on getting legal help, but I was just hoping that there would be something in 'writing' legally, that will reassure me. Thanks for all of your imput. Too bad, this 'little family' (on my favorite forum) can't get together and have some coffee or tea at a table. You guys are really super.

ALL OF ASMEHELPDESK IS HOT! Thanks again.

bizygurl

Hey Chery, I honestly don't believe that this guy can be financially and emotionally responsible for this child. And what this woman is doing is very twisted and unfair. Unfortunately I don't know any real legal ligistics, but I always thoght that if a man is not biologically related to child he should not be forced into providing for one. And ummm... what is this woman thinking? Wasn't her decision to get "artificially inseminated"? That isn't like "whoops im pregnant" When you artifically inseminate yourself, your saying (as the mother) Im taking full resposibility for this child. Wether the father is there or not.

I would research, if you can about the legal laws, but to be honest with you I don't think she can get away with that. Hope everything gets better for you, chin up it'll be okay