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    VirginiaMommy's Avatar
    VirginiaMommy Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 12, 2010, 01:58 PM
    Can I take my children on vacation out of state without the fathers permission?
    My ex-husband and I have joint legal custody with me being the primary custodian because they live with me 100% of the time. The only problem with that argument is he has had SEVERAL g/f's since we were seperate/divorced and I didn't get to meet any of them, even the ones he lived with. He chose to leave our family and now thinks he has a say so about who I choose to date. I am a wonderful mother and my children are always my number on priority. It's hurtful to me that he would choose to go the route of saying he will take me to court and get something saying I can't leave the state?? Can he do that?
    VirginiaMommy's Avatar
    VirginiaMommy Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Jun 12, 2010, 02:02 PM

    Okay somehow part of my question was deleted... after the custody arrangement sentence should have read... I want to take my children on vacation out of state in August. This is nothing new, we do is just about every year. My ex said he doesn't want the kids to go since they will be around people he doesn't know. He hasn't met the gentleman I am speaking to and have been seeing for the last 6 months... Okay, now you can pick back up with "The only problem" sentence.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #3

    Jun 12, 2010, 03:01 PM

    What do your custody papers say as far as any restrictions. If it doesn't say then there is no problem. It may say notify which still doesn't bar you from going it just means he needs to be told your crossing a state line.
    ellen0's Avatar
    ellen0 Posts: 18, Reputation: -4
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    #4

    Jun 12, 2010, 03:55 PM

    If it is not in the divorce papers he can't change it now. You should not let him know who you are going with, this will open a can of worms but since you already did, just tell him that he can meet the guy if he would like to.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #5

    Jun 12, 2010, 04:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ellen0 View Post
    If it is not in the divorce papers he can't change it now. You should not let him know who you are going with, this will open a can of worms but since you already did, just tell him that he can meet the guy if he would like to.
    The father does have the option of taking her back to court for a modification and is well within his rights to do so. Please stop posting bad information unless you can back it up. This is the second time this has happened. Please be more careful in the law board.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Jun 12, 2010, 04:07 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ellen0 View Post
    If it is not in the divorce papers he can't change it now. You should not let him know who you are going with, this will open a can of worms but since you already did, just tell him that he can meet the guy if he would like to.

    Ellen I have warned you about givig totally wrong and bad info already. You have no idea what you are talking about, and stop it now before someone actually believes you and gets into trouble
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Jun 12, 2010, 04:10 PM

    If it is not in the custody agreement ( be sure and watch, it may have a clause about leaving the state, many do)

    But if it does not, the father can take you back to court anytime he wants and ask for anything to be modified.
    Also check on the joint legal issue, since he as joint legal custody have a right to have a say in any aspect of the child's life.

    Next when and how often does he visit and no, he does not have to know who they are, and you don't have a right to know who he is with, ( unless the court order says so)
    ellen0's Avatar
    ellen0 Posts: 18, Reputation: -4
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    #8

    Jun 12, 2010, 04:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    Ellen I have warned you about givig totally wrong and bad info already. You have no idea what you are talking about, and stop it now before someone actually beleives you and gets into trouble
    You should watch what you say before someone laughs in your face
    VirginiaMommy's Avatar
    VirginiaMommy Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jun 12, 2010, 04:13 PM
    Thanks everyone, may I ask... if he chooses to go to court and seek such an order, does the court just automatically approve such a request? I am a great mother and have never done anything to question my decision making skills.
    VirginiaMommy's Avatar
    VirginiaMommy Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jun 12, 2010, 04:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    If it is not in the custody agreement ( be sure and watch, it may have a clause about leaving the state, many do)

    But if it does not, the father can take you back to court anytime he wants and ask for anything to be modified.
    Also check on the joint legal issue, since he as joint legal custody have a right to have a say in any aspect of the childs life.

    Next when and how often does he visit and no, he does not have to know who they are, and you don't have a right to know who he is with, ( unless the court order says so)

    Because of his job, there is no specific visitation quoted in our paperwork, it only states on the days he is off from work he shall have visitation with the kids. And no where in the papers does it state anything about venturing out of state.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #11

    Jun 12, 2010, 04:17 PM

    No it is not automatic. There will be a hearing first. The only thing if granted that is automatic is restraining orders. Those usually involve domestic violence or harassment and can be issued first ( temp) then a hearing comes later. In cases like this where no endangerment or proven risk of flight exists then it normally gets filed and then a hearing takes place.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #12

    Jun 12, 2010, 04:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by VirginiaMommy View Post
    Because of his job, there is no specific visitation quoted in our paperwork, it only states on the days he is off from work he shall have visitation with the kids. And no where in the papers does it state anything about venturing out of state.
    If this is what it states then what she needs to do is notify him she is going on vacation with the child from X day to expected return day of X.

    That way he can't say she is denying him the child or violating any court orders.

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