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-   -   Can I stop my child father seeing her (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=445958)

  • Feb 11, 2010, 02:54 PM
    fiferlass
    Can I stop my child father seeing her
    The father of my daughter is a drug addict and prone to drinking benders. He is not on the birth certificate as I don't want him in my daughters life. He has applied to the court for access but I don't want this. There was a independent solicitor sent out to do a review but she was very judgemental about my age as I am 20 and my daughters father is 36. I feel that I am being judged by my age and not for what's best for my daughter.
  • Feb 11, 2010, 03:02 PM
    ScottGem

    Please pay more attention to posting guidelines. There is a Read First sticky in the Parenting forum (where this was moved from) that directs questions of a legal nature to this forum.

    If he is named the legal father then he has rights to his child. If he has engaged a solicitor, then you really need to get one also. It could very well be the person sent to evaluate your parenting was prejudiced by your age.

    Also do you have proof of his drug addiction and alcoholism?

    And I have to ask the questions the court will ask. You apparently thought he was good enough to have sex with. If he represents so horrible a father then why did you have sex with him?
  • Feb 13, 2010, 07:40 AM
    southerngal77

    You cannot completely remove the right of the father to see his children (some states may allow this in certain cases though) and don't understand why you would want to do such a thing anyway. I went through a similar issue. The father of my two daughters became addicted to alcohol and drugs, I simply stopped his visitation myself (he was on their birth certificate and we had a custody agreement so completely different in that regards to your case), gave his visitation to his parents and allowed him supervised visits with the children while they were with his parents. Technically it was illegal and he could have taken me to court over the issue (so everyone PLEASE be advised of that) but would have lost due to state laws pertaining to the issue- because I had proof of his addictions (criminal charges and his parents testimony) and at all times I protected my children's best interest - protecting them while still allowing contact with their father. Thankfully he did overcome his addiction and thanked me for still allowing him to be a part of the our kids life during his darkest moments. Only in VERY extreme cases should you stop all contact with a parent. i.e. child abuse and especially sexual abuse, but I still see supervised visitation the best interest of the children in regards to those unless it can be proven to inflict serious emotional harm to the child. Parents should ALWAYS look after their child's best interest and that is part of our job and a child's best interest is always to have their biological parents part of their life.
  • Feb 13, 2010, 08:35 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    Yes, your word that he is a addict means little to the court, you will need proof that can be submitted in court.

    If and when you prove he is a danger you can then ask for supervised visits
  • Feb 19, 2012, 06:14 AM
    imrachelsmommy
    First question, how old is your daughter? Second question, why was a grown man with a potentially under age female? Hmmmmm. If the age issue is going to be a problem, you need to reverse that quickly by redirecting the scrutiny onto him and his age as it relates to yours (preying upon a younger woman?) and not let him set you up this way, because once things start going down that road, you will quickly become the focus, and you want the focus to remain on your child and what is best for your child. Regarding proof of drugs and drinking, you need to gather proof, photos off social media like Facebook, myspace etc showing him drinking are always good, text messages or emails referring to drinking or drugs, police reports of arrests for drinking or drugs, receipts showing his signature for alcohol purchases, witness statements sworn under oath that someone has personally seen and witnessed him drinking or using drugs (the more witnesses the better), voicemail or answering machine messages from him, etc. You need to gather evidence now. I am not an attorney and this is not legal advise. You need a qualified solicitor.

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