My daughter is 91/2 months pregnant . The babies father has not been around since she was 4 months pregnant. He quit his job and went back to college full time when she was 7 months pregnant to avaoid paying child support. He has said he wants nothing to do with this baby. Now that the baby is almost here he says he wants to be around. He has made no attempt to provide anything for this baby my daughter has done it all with a little help from my husband and I. She told him he is welcome to come and see the baby pretty much as often as he wants as long as he provides her with some sort of support. (no set amount). The problem besides all of this that we are having is he wants his mother to be a ta the hospital when the baby is born (her and my daughter do not get along ) (she wanted my daughter to terminate the pregnancy).... My daughter said she didnt want her there now he is saying how selfish my daughter is being and is threatening to take her to court to get visitation (this is turning into a mess) ..... my question is seeing he is not goin on the birth certifiacte and my granddaughter will have my daughters last name and he hasnt been there at all what can he really do seeing my daughter already told him he could visit the child whenever? will the court look at his history of never being there,quitting his job,and not wanting this baby at all? or is my daughter going to have to suffer thru him taking her whenever he feels like it? Please tell us what to do our whole family is so stressed over this. thank you for your time and God Bless you and yours.
my question is seeing he is not goin on the birth certifiacte and my granddaughter will have my daughters last name and he hasnt been there at all what can he really do seeing my daughter already told him he could visit the child whenever?
Hello Kim:
If he wants, he WILL be on the birth certificate. You should realize that he has just as many rights to this child as does your daughter.
So, whether he WANTS to pay child support or not, or whether your family WANTS him involved or not, the COURTS WILL decide whats in the best interest of the child.
He's gonna pay child support, and your daughter is going to let him visit. That's the way it SHOULD be.
First, until the baby is born, he has almost no rights. And you daughter certainly has the right to have whomever she wants in the delivery room. But a hospital is a public place and if his mother wants to be in the waiting room, I don't think she can stop her.
However, she can't just leave him off the birth certifcate. A birth certificate is a legal document. If she states she doesn't know the father she is falsifying the document.
What she needs to do is list him on the birth certifcate, then file for support immediately after the child is born.
This is NOT something you leave for mutual agreement. This is something you formalize by court order.
The court MAY look at his initial antipathy towards the child, but I doubt if they will put much weight on it. Sounds like this is a fairly young kid and it wouldn't be unusual for him to be scared off by the change a baby would make in his life. But that can change and may have, or it may be his mother who wants a grandchild. It really doesn't matter.
But your daughter does not have to "suffer thru him taking her whenever he feels like it". What she does is ask the court for a set visitation schedule. Something like evening visits until the child is weaned, then maybe overnights and weekends as the child gets older.
Ok as stated above... what he can do is go to court to have his rights put in a court order so that he and your daughter both have a copy of when and how long he is able to have the child. She needs to get used to the fact that he is whom she chose to have sex with and that resulted in a child their child not her child. He will have to pay support (I'm glad he went back to school so that he can have a better job and help support their child better). She can have whomever she wants in the delivery room that is her choice however, he will be on the birth certificat even if it takes a judge to order it.
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