|
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 08:33 AM
|
|
Boyfriend may have a daughter
Hello, My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years and have 2 children together, we both work but are struggling to make ends meet, He also has a child support order for his oldest son. A woman is now coming out and asking him for a paternity test for her 12 year old daughter because the father got a test last year and found out it was not his child after caring for her and paying child support one other guy was tested and he is not the father so now my boyfriend has to go get a test next week, This woman's name is listed on his child support as parent to receive support (My boyfriends current order for other son has her name as well ,). He also received a letter that if this child is his he will have to pay back support to her and the welfare system because she was on welfare, I am all for a parent paying support but why should he have to pay back welfare for her if this is his child (she does resemble our son).
|
|
|
Expert
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 08:37 AM
|
|
Why should the taxpayers have to carry the burden of support if she was on Welfare?
That's the reason. There is absolutely no reason that the public should have to pay for the kid(s) if the parent is able to be located.
|
|
|
Expert
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 08:40 AM
|
|
Because that's the law, and back child support still goes for the welfare of the child, and it starts at birth, so if he didn't handle is business at the birth of the child, he must do it now.
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 08:40 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by Synnen
Why should the taxpayers have to carry the burden of support if she was on Welfare?
That's the reason. There is absolutely no reason that the public should have to pay for the kid(s) if the parent is able to be located.
I understand that completely, but If he had known that he had this child he would have been paying support, this woman is still on welfare to this day (they are actually paying for the paternity test) why does a man that pays support have to pay back welfare for a woman who does not want to work and can not keep track of the men she sleeps with. (I hear she is also pregnant now)
|
|
|
Expert
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 08:59 AM
|
|
Well, if he thinks she's that bad, he should sue for custody.
Then SHE would be the one that had to pay support.
Basically it comes down to choosing wisely the people you sleep with--and while she can't keep track of who SHE slept with... apparently he stooped low enough to hit that.
The responsibility is that of BOTH parents.
I say again: If you (or the child's father, anyway) do not feel that she is a good enough person to HAVE those kids, then he should sue for custody of the children.
Whining about child support always ticks me off, frankly. I don't like, as a taxpayer, supporting someone else's kids. Especially since I can't get the taxpayers to pay for ME to have a child (the infertility testing and IVF treatments get REALLY expensive).
So... since kids are a "lifestyle choice", then the people who MADE the kids should have the financial hit on their lifestyle.
Or give the kids up for adoption at birth, when they still have a chance of being adopted.
Either way... no whining about it.
|
|
|
Family Law Expert
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 09:01 AM
|
|
Where are you in?Whare does that woman?
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 09:07 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by Synnen
Well, if he thinks she's that bad, he should sue for custody.
Then SHE would be the one that had to pay support.
Basically it comes down to choosing wisely the people you sleep with--and while she can't keep track of who SHE slept with...apparently he stooped low enough to hit that.
The responsibility is that of BOTH parents.
I say again: If you (or the child's father, anyway) do not feel that she is a good enough person to HAVE those kids, then he should sue for custody of the children.
Whining about child support always ticks me off, frankly. I don't like, as a taxpayer, supporting someone else's kids. Especially since I can't get the taxpayers to pay for ME to have a child (the infertility testing and IVF treatments get REALLY expensive).
So...since kids are a "lifestyle choice", then the people who MADE the kids should have the financial hit on their lifestyle.
Or give the kids up for adoption at birth, when they still have a chance of being adopted.
Either way....no whining about it.
I agree 100% about taking care of your responsibility, I wonder if the first guy gets his money back seeing the new will have to pay as well (the first one also paid welfare), my question really is how do they add her name to his support order wihout a test yet and if it is his child and they get a court order and she stays on welfare does he still pay the current welfare as well as back.
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 09:15 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by GV70
where are you in?Whare does that woman?
Massachusetts if that is what you are asking
|
|
|
Expert
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 09:19 AM
|
|
I would consult a lawyer about whether it is legal to add the new child to the support order before paternity is determined.
It sounds like a lawyer might be a good idea in general, with the strange history this woman has.
|
|
|
Ultra Member
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 09:20 AM
|
|
The first guy can get his money back if he gets a lawyer and goes to court especially if they do get the right father paying. As far as current welfare goes no he will only have to pay the back amount that he would have been paying in support. When ever she goes in to renew her welfare (every 6 months or so I think) all support payments received by her are to be reported because they figure into the amount of assistance she receives. I do know of a couple women that know how to play the system so in order to protect himself make sure all of his payments are made through the court system and he gets the reciepts from them (they are good about giving reciepts) this way she can't claim she didn't get it. Well, she can claim she didn't but he has the best back up he can get.
|
|
|
Uber Member
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 09:22 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by aliaricam3
I understand that completely, but If he had known that he had this child he would of been paying support, this woman is still on welfare to this day (they are actually paying for the paternity test) why does a man that pays support have to pay back welfare for a woman who does not want to work and can not keep track of the men she sleeps with. (I hear she is also pregnat now)
Possibly because she wasn't exactly Snow White when he knew her and he didn't use protection. At times people should weigh the cost of condoms (or whatever) against the cost of child support for the next 18 or 21 years and then make purely a financial decision.
I think she DID keep track of the men she slept with - that's why your boyfriend just got notified. If she DIDN'T keep track she would still be trying to remember his name.
Seems like a harsh lesson when back support for a child you didn't even know existed is involved but that's the law and I, too, don't want to support someone else's child/children.
|
|
|
Uber Member
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 09:23 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by GV70
where are you in?Whare does that woman?
I don't know if I'm reading this the way you meant it but I am on the floor with laughter! Great tongue in cheek response!
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 09:29 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
Possibly because she wasn't exactly Snow White when he knew her and he didn't use protection. At times people should weigh the cost of condoms (or whatever) against the cost of child support for the next 18 or 21 years and then make purely a financial decision.
I think she DID keep track of the men she slept with - that's why your boyfriend just got notified. If she DIDN'T keep track she would still be trying to remember his name.
Seems like a harsh lesson when back support for a child you didn't even know existed is involved but that's the law and I, too, don't want to support someone else's child/children.
I understand him not using protection, but my question is if my boyfreind looks online at his current support order for his older son (which he pays faithfully) this other woman's name is there and says no court order established, how can they assume he is the father already with no test and he is the 3rd guy to be tested, and also He knows he will have to pay back support but if she ever gets a job does she have to pay welfare back or only fathers pay welfare back, she gets it for herself also not just the child so why does he have topay her part back, I am a taxpayer as well and agree with everyone on that issue.
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 09:39 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by Synnen
Well, if he thinks she's that bad, he should sue for custody.
Then SHE would be the one that had to pay support.
Basically it comes down to choosing wisely the people you sleep with--and while she can't keep track of who SHE slept with...apparently he stooped low enough to hit that.
The responsibility is that of BOTH parents.
I say again: If you (or the child's father, anyway) do not feel that she is a good enough person to HAVE those kids, then he should sue for custody of the children.
Whining about child support always ticks me off, frankly. I don't like, as a taxpayer, supporting someone else's kids. Especially since I can't get the taxpayers to pay for ME to have a child (the infertility testing and IVF treatments get REALLY expensive).
So...since kids are a "lifestyle choice", then the people who MADE the kids should have the financial hit on their lifestyle.
Or give the kids up for adoption at birth, when they still have a chance of being adopted.
Either way....no whining about it.
He is not whining about, but she chooses to be on welfare and not work, I was a single mother for nine years before I met my boyfriend and I did not receive child support, But I did not go on welfare I worked.
|
|
|
Uber Member
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 09:39 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by aliaricam3
I understand him not using protection, but my question is if my boyfreind looks online at his current support order for his older son (which he pays faithfully) this other womans name is there and says no court order established, how can they assume he is the father already with no test and he is the 3rd guy to be tested, and also He knows he will have to pay back support but if she ever gets a job does she have to pay welfare back or only fathers pay welfare back, she gets it for herself also not just the child so why does he have topay her part back, I am a taxpayer as well and agree with everyone on that issue.
Good questions, all of them - I really don't know.
They expect him to pay back the benefits SHE got on her own? Hmm -
Have you tried calling - or has he tried calling - and asking? It sounds like they are presuming he's the father... and have no proof.
Sounds like they've got it backwards.
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 09:50 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
Good questions, all of them - I really don't know.
They expect him to pay back the benefits SHE got on her own? Hmm -
Have you tried calling - or has he tried calling - and asking? It sounds like they are presuming he's the father ... and have no proof.
Sounds like they've got it backwards.
That is what this whole post was about him paying back welfare that she received, In Massachusetts when woman is on welfare even if she has three kids with three different men they all have to pay for the woman receiving welfare, it is just not fair. Massachusttes is really bad with child support on both ends (the one paying and receiving). Couple of years ago they had aver 4 million dollars and no clue who it belonged too and then arrested a guy at his job (put him on front page of paper as deadbeat) that had paystubs with proof he paid and humiliated him for there mistake. I know this goes off subject but Massachusetts is bad when it comes to child support
|
|
|
Family Law Expert
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 09:50 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by aliaricam3
Massachusetts if that is what you are asking
Yes:D :D
According to Ma law,/Chapter 119A/-. In any case requiring the establishment of paternity, the IV-D agency may, on the basis of an affidavit by the mother or the putative father alleging that sexual intercourse between the mother and putative father occurred during the probable period of conception and without the necessity of obtaining an order from a court, order the mother, the child and the putative father to submit to genetic marker tests; provided, however, that the IV-D agency may order such tests only if no other man is presumed to be the father under section 6 of chapter 209C. Notice of the order shall be served on the obligor and individual obligee in accordance with rule 4(d)(2) of the Massachusetts Rules of Domestic Relations Procedure. Upon receipt of the results of the genetic marker tests, the IV-D agency may provide the parties with an opportunity to voluntarily acknowledge parentage pursuant to chapter 209C. If the parties do not voluntarily acknowledge parentage as provided in chapter 209C, the IV-D agency may commence an action to establish paternity pursuant to chapter 209C. If any party fails to appear for or refuses to submit to genetic marker tests in accordance with the order of the IV-D agency, or if any party contests the jurisdiction of the IV-D agency to issue the order for genetic marker tests, the IV-D agency shall commence an action to establish paternity pursuant to chapter 209C
|
|
|
Family Law Expert
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 10:12 AM
|
|
The IV-D agency, in accordance with Title IV, Part D of the Social Security Act, is hereby authorized to institute collection procedures for all arrearages which have accrued against child support payments owed pursuant to a court judgment or support order, or an order from a IV-D agency of competent jurisdiction.
|
|
|
Uber Member
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 10:31 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by aliaricam3
That is what this whole post was about him paying back welfare that she received, In Massachusetts when woman is on welfare even if she has three kids with three different men they all have to pay for the woman receiving welfare, it is just not fair. Massachusttes is really bad with child support on both ends (the one paying and receiving). couple of years ago they had aver 4 million dollars and no clue who it belonged too and then arrested a guy at his job (put him on front page of paper as deadbeat) that had paystubs with proof he paid and humiliated him for there mistake. I know this goes off subject but massachusetts is bad when it comes to child support
Sorry - I thought the post was about benefits the mother received on behalf of the child, not her individual benefits.
|
|
|
Family Law Expert
|
|
Apr 22, 2008, 10:34 AM
|
|
When a mother is on welfare,she does not receive child support payments.She gets welfare only.CSEA gets cs payments.
|
|
Question Tools |
Search this Question |
|
|
Add your answer here.
Check out some similar questions!
13 year old daughter kissing boyfriend
[ 10 Answers ]
Recently my parents took my 13 year old daughter to the movies with one of her girlfriends. My parents went to a different movie and when there movie was done they checked in on my daughter and caught her making out with a boy. I've already punished her for lying and everything else but now...
Is it wrong for me to not trust my ex-boyfriend with our daughter?
[ 3 Answers ]
I have custody of our daughter (she lives with me), and my ex-boyfriend (her father) has in the past talked about killing himself, and the ways he could do it, he's also broken things that he owns (such as his digital camera) out of anger... should I get a lawyer? I do not trust him alone with her,...
Daughter vs new boyfriend
[ 4 Answers ]
I recently got divorced and I have a 5yr old daughter. I am dating a guy and my daughter won't give me 10 minutes alone seems like to even talk to the guy. Any time I get on the phone or try to talk to anybody in person she jumps in and starts talking. I have told her that she is being rude but...
Custody battle with my boyfriend of our daughter
[ 5 Answers ]
My boyfriend who is not even on the birth certificate has taken my 4 month old daughter, will not let me see her and is taking me to court so he can has full custody I lived with him and took care of my child so I didn't pay bills or work I'm fit mother what are the chances he would get custody? ...
Boyfriend Adopting My Daughter
[ 2 Answers ]
My Daughter is 3 months old next saturday and I want to know if my Boy-friend can adopt her. Her bio father has never seen her and has never been in her life since she was in my belly. I want him to adopt her so that she has a father that loves her and doesn't use drugs or sell drugs either.
View more questions
Search
|