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kkd6110 · Nov 14, 2009, 08:12 PM

If the biological father's name is not on the legal birth certificate and has had zero contact with me or my son, he does not pay any child support and has never. How will this affect my husband adopting my son and taking his name? He is the only father my son has ever known and will ever know! He has been a part of my son's life since the age of 4 months old and my son is 2 now. We recently got married and we want to have only one last name. My son has my maiden name now! I am a Louisiana resident!

Thanks so much in advance for your responses!

Fr_Chuck · Nov 14, 2009, 08:20 PM

If you will check the "sticky" on the family law page you will see this has been covered very completely.

It actually makes it a lot harder, and costly. You will have to not only get the bio father sign over his rights for adoption, but will also have to prove he is the bio father most likely by a DNA test.

Also I believe LA requires you to be married for a year for the adoption to take place.

The good side of this, in proving the bio father paternity, he will most likely be willing to sign so he will not have to pay any suppot.

From a legal side, the bio father did not have to pay anything and is not behind in any support since there was never a court order for him to pay.

ScottGem · Nov 14, 2009, 08:26 PM

First, please paymore attention to posting guidelines. The Adoption forum (where this was moved from) has a read first sticky that directs questions of a legal nature to this forum.

Had you looked through this forum you would have found several threads that deal with this issue.

Before a court will grant an adoption it is required that the bio father agree to the adoption. So, despite that he isn't on the birth certificate, you will have to have him sign off.

Originally Posted by kkd6110

He is the only father my son has ever known and will ever know!

I am bothered by this statement. You WILL need, at some to tell him the truth. He WILL find out. The longer you wait the worst it will affect your relationship. Generally, sometime between 7 and 10 is a good age.

kkd6110 · Nov 14, 2009, 08:33 PM

The bio father knows he is the father he just decided to be a dead beat dad!

ScottGem · Nov 14, 2009, 08:37 PM

Originally Posted by kkd6110

THE BIO FATHER KNOWS HE IS THE FATHER HE JUST DECIDED TO BE A DEAD BEAT DAD!

First, there is no reason to shout at us.

Second, why do you think that has a bearing on this issue?

cdad · Nov 14, 2009, 08:44 PM

Originally Posted by kkd6110

THE BIO FATHER KNOWS HE IS THE FATHER HE JUST DECIDED TO BE A DEAD BEAT DAD!

Have you taken him to court for child support ? If not maybe you're a dead beat mom ?

kkd6110 · Nov 14, 2009, 08:44 PM

Thanks for nothing! I would rather not be on this site anymore because instead of getting help I am getting a really bad vibe about your responses!

Just to let you know the bio father was married and his wife was pregnant at the same time! He lied to me for 2 years and I even saw divorce papers he had his friend draw up! He knew he was the father from day one we dated for 2 years and all of the sudden when I got pregnant he skipped town! My husband now has stepped up to the plate and he is a wonderful father to my son and we just wanted it to be legal. I was looking for a little advice and instead it seems like you assumed the response before you asked the question!

cdad · Nov 14, 2009, 08:47 PM

Originally Posted by kkd6110

Thanks for nothing! I would rather not be on this site anymore because instead of getting help I am getting a really bad vibe about your responses!

Just to let you know the bio father was married and his wife was pregnant at the same time! He lied to me for 2 years and I even saw divorce papers he had his friend draw up! He knew he was the father from day one we dated for 2 years and all of the sudden when I got pregnant he skipped town! My husband now has stepped up to the plate and he is a wonderful father to my son and we just wanted it to be legal. I was looking for a little advice and instead it seems like you assumed the response before you asked the question!

You have received the legal advice and your choosing to ignore it. Both fr_chuck and scottgem have answered the legal side of it up to this point.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 14, 2009, 08:50 PM

The problem we are telling you the law,

Unless you took him to court to prove paternity, get custody and a order for child support, you did not do your part first.

Second, he is not behind and does not owe a penny child support since there is not child support order.

Morally he has not done his duty, but legally he has no duty unless you filed for a order of support first.

Next he could still at any time ask for a hearig and ask for visits if he wanted to, so he still has rights that are undecided since there is no court action.

Next we are very very serious about the child's rights to know they are adopted, and I even suggest at 2 or 3 they be told, so there is no shock ever, this is very important and there are special books to help the child understand about it.

So when you say that they are the only dad they will ever know, we worry since you could be forced at some point to allow the bio father to visit by the court, if he decided to go that path, you don't have the control, Next the chlld could decide to have a relationship with the bio father latter anyway, that is their choice ( even if after they are 18)

We try and let you know all the problems and issues with a post.

Next you got the right answer, the bio father will have to be asked and he will have to sign over his rights for the adoption to take place.

stinawords · Nov 14, 2009, 09:03 PM

I'm not sure where your bad vibes are coming from. Your question has been answered according to the laws. The laws being that the bio father is not responsible for support until you take him to court to prove paternaty and get a court order for support. Therefore, he is not a "deadbeat" according to law because legally he owes nothing at all not one red cent. This isn't a moral board it is a legal board and our answers conform to the law. Sorry that you didn't act faster or seek help sooner to realize that you needed to get into court. The best advice we can give you is to get into court sooner rather than later to get the DNA test ordered and support ordered. He will be more likely to allow the adoption if he will knows it will end his support obligation but right now he has none to end.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 14, 2009, 09:20 PM

Sometimes they don't want to hear the "law" they want to hear what their friends at the hair salon tells them, that the bio dad does not have to even be told, that the bio dad is a jerk, she has done nothing wrong and the new husband walks on water.

Ok maybe not that bad, but they don't want to hear what they did not do or should have done, and the problems that choice is now going to cause

ScottGem · Nov 14, 2009, 09:29 PM

First, I'm going to disagree somewhat with the premise that the bio dad (or any bio dad) is not a dead beat if you didn't bring him to court. A dad shouldn't be forced by a court to be a man and take responsibility.

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't have gone after him for support.

Second, I'm not sure where your reaction is coming from. We explained the law to you. But we asked several questions that we needed to know to give you more specific help. Instead of providing that info, you shouted at use with irrelevant info.

We stand ready to help you, but to do so we need information,