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-   -   Is it abandonment if a mother leaves her child with her father to find work? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=314825)

  • Feb 8, 2009, 03:57 PM
    TabbyKitteh
    Is it abandonment if a mother leaves her child with her father to find work?
    I am currently thinking about going to a different state to find work and hopefully a place to live. I have a 1 year old daughter and I am currently living with her father and his family. The father told me that he doesn't want me to take the child away and I figure that it would be best to leave her with the family, who loves her and cares for her, take care of business elsewhere and send them money for her whenever possible until I can bring her with me.

    My question is.. Can the family file for Child Abandonment against me if I do so?
  • Feb 8, 2009, 04:56 PM
    cadillac59

    No, I wouldn't worry about any of that.

    Child abandonment has to do with leaving a child without provision for support or identification with 3rd parties, leaving the child with the co-parent and not having communication with or supporting the child for an extended period (usually > 1 year), that sort of thing. That's not what you're doing here.
  • Feb 8, 2009, 05:24 PM
    ScottGem

    Has a court awarded custody?
  • Feb 8, 2009, 09:02 PM
    TabbyKitteh
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    Has a court awarded custody?

    No.. we never went to court.
    We aren't even married.
  • Feb 8, 2009, 09:04 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    You can expect him to of course get a order of custody for the child
  • Feb 8, 2009, 09:06 PM
    TabbyKitteh

    What could I do to prevent that?
  • Feb 9, 2009, 10:05 AM
    ScottGem

    You need to formalize custody by going to court.
  • Feb 9, 2009, 07:56 PM
    TabbyKitteh

    All right.. Thank you.
  • Feb 9, 2009, 08:00 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    If you leave him with the child, you can expect him to use that as evidence that he is the prmiary custodial parent,

    You cannot really have it both way, you can't leave the child with the father and not expect him to have , get or want legal custody
  • Feb 11, 2009, 04:41 PM
    TabbyKitteh

    But I don't want to leave her with him forever.. Just for a little while until I get a job and place to stay that would be suitable for my daughter and I.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 06:02 PM
    ScottGem

    Its not just what YOU want. You also have to deal with what he wants and the law.
  • Feb 13, 2009, 03:37 PM
    TabbyKitteh

    You have a point.
    Thank you
  • Dec 22, 2009, 02:31 AM
    jeweleddiamond
    I'm same predictament I have 2 girls and want to make a better place for them and was offered a awesome job in another state and think with that it would make a better environment for my kids... not sure what I can do so good luck to you to
  • Dec 22, 2009, 02:35 AM
    jeweleddiamond

    But what about the child's care that what counts not what the father or mother wants so if one or the other wants to go make a better way (job and home) for that child it should be a good thing that they want this
  • Dec 22, 2009, 05:49 AM
    JudyKayTee

    I'm concerned that the OP is going to send money to support her child "whenever possible." She expects the father to raise the child with little help from her and then she's going to attempt to take the child from him? I don't think the Court is going to be very happy about this.

    If a father ever posted anything like this he'd be roasted alive!
  • Dec 22, 2009, 05:51 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jeweleddiamond View Post
    But what about the childs care that what counts not what the father or mother wants so if one or the other wants to go make a better way (job and home) for that child it should be a good thing that they want this


    The Law has already been posted and explained.

    The Court will look at what is in the best interest of the child and that very well may not be being raised by one parent while the other parent is somewhere else, followed by a change of custody when the second parent gets established.

    Then there's the matter of financial support for the child.

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