Of course my heart is broken, however, I love my daughter more than words can express and she is pregnant. My daughter is 14 and her boyfriend is 16. I'm not interested in pursing action regarding the age of the boy, but is it illegal for a 16 Year-Old boy to have sex with a 14 Year-Old girl? This question is only for my peace of mind.

Although I do not approve of the actions, I unconditionally love and support my daughter. I also love her boyfriend whom would like to stay in the baby's life.

Sadly, the boyfriend's mother is already starting trouble. At first she attempted to force my daughter to terminate the pregnancy at 22 weeks, and now she is trying to win custody of the unborn baby. She is an alcoholic.

My daughter and I have decided to not include the father's name on the birth certificate when the baby is born although we strongly desire to include the father in the baby's life as much as possible. We are not looking for financial support, only his love for the child.

My questions are as follows:
1. If the father's name is not on the baby's birth certificate, what are his rights?
2. Will the father's mother be able to claim any type of rights for the baby?
3. Should my daughter and I consider myself for temporary guardianship of the baby?
4. Is it my responsibility to include the father's mother in the planning etc... prior to the baby's birth? Honestly, I wish to not have any further contact with her as it was aggressive and intimidating.

Thank you very much!

CaptainForest

Again, WHAT country?

In the USA - that is bad.

If in Canada - it is OK.

TUCK

rojeni, you have gotten a bunch of arm chair lawyers advices here. some say this and some say that. Go talk to a lawyer in your town and get these questions answered. I do know this, as the supporting mother to a dependant, soon to become a mother, you have the ball in your court. You do not have to name the child the father's last name, but his name will appear as the father of the child. Being the father of that child he does have rights to support and visit that child. you are going to have your hands full dealing with the fact that both parents are under the legal age of 18 (USA that is) and you will have to deal with the father's mother. But, remember, the mother of the child is in control of what and how this child is cared for.
And, in my opinion only, there is not a judge in the country, USA that is, that would take a child from its mother, especially a new born, unless that mother is absolutely, without a doupt, unfit or the mother wants it that way.
You are in control and any guide lines are yours to choose.

Fr_Chuck

Ok, first EXCON, sorry but South Carolina in the US allows legal age of consent for a girl to be 14 and the age of consent for the boy 16.

But they are the only state in the US that allows it.

If the father objects and wants his name on the birth certificate he can file an objection with the court and have it added if he wants to.

Even if he is not listed on the birth certificate he has all the same rights as if his name was listed, he would just have to prove though DNA tests that he was the father.

And he as as much right to custody of the child as the mother does, so there has to be a child custody hearing to determine if the mother will have primiary custody of the child ( it is not automatic)

You can not become guardian of the baby unless the mother and father both agree ( one of his rights to custody of child)

Also you don't have to include anyone in any planning if you don't want to, but remember they have as much right to file for custody of the baby in thier sons name as you are asking for it in the mothers name.

So the sooner you make peace with them the easier it is going to be, of you will find yourself hireing an attorney to stop them from taking the baby for the father to raise.

brandismithstl

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS RESPONDED TO YOUR QUESTION, BUT I'M 26 YEARS OLD AND DEALING WITH THE SAME PROBLEM REGARDING MY 10 MONTH OLD, MY EX AND HIS MOM. HERE IS MY ADVICE, ALTHOUGH I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD CONSULT LEGAL COUNSEL IN STATE ABOUT THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS AS DIFFERENT LAWS ARE REGULATED IN EVERY STATE.....

1. If the father's name is not on the baby's birth certificate, what are his rights?
Well, if his name is on the birth certificate, that does not mean anything other than the fact that your daughter is 'consenting' him to be the father. Now, this does mean that he is entitled to pay child support. THIS IS THE ONLY REASON SHE NEEDS TO PUT HIS NAME ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE. IF SHE DOESNT PLAN ON GETTING SUPPORT FROM THIS GUY, PLEASE DO NOT HAVE HER TO DO THIS. This does not mean that he is entitled to custody or visitation or any other rights. If he wants such rights, he will have to take you to Family Court which will cost him lots of time and money (in which I'm sure a 16 year old and his drunken mother doesnt have). In Family Court, if your daughter would like to hold the process up, she can deny paternity, in which he will have to prove paternity by getting a DNA test, which will cost him more money out of pocket. The whole process of custody, visitation, Family Court period - takes time and lots of money. Most Attorneys here in MO run anywhere from $150/hr and up. If this family doesnt have money, their bluffing. Dont sweat it. Unless they have a court order, your daughter is the only one who has rights for to her child. Grandparents have NO rights.

2. Will the father's mother be able to claim any type of rights for the baby?
The father will only through Family Court. Nothing else. If he takes the child without her consent, it's kidnapping!

3. Should my daughter and I consider myself for temporary guardianship of the baby?
No

4. Is it my responsibility to include the father's mother in the planning etc... prior to the baby's birth? Honestly, I wish to not have any further contact with her as it was aggressive and intimidating.
Don't then. You or your daughter do not owe those people anything. If they ask why, tell him assertively that they are overbearing, out of line, and if they wish to have anything further to do with your child and grandchild, they have to learn how to respect your family, the situation and since your daughter still is a minor and lives in your home, you are demanding this, otherwise they will have no parts of this baby and if they disagree, tell them you will see them in court. *People are only intimidating if you let them be. Use the negativity they toss your way as ammunition against them to fight for the rights of your daughter and your grandchild.

Now, no it is not illegal that a 16 year old had sex with your 14 year old daughter. It was consentual, I'm guessing. Even if it was consentual and he was 18+, then, yes, that would be illegal. Good Luck to you. God bless.

OHSNAPXSOGLAM

My questions are as follows:
1. If the father's name is not on the baby's birth certificate, what are his rights?
2. Will the father's mother be able to claim any type of rights for the baby?
3. Should my daughter and I consider myself for temporary guardianship of the baby?
4. Is it my responsibility to include the father's mother in the planning etc... prior to the baby's birth? Honestly, I wish to not have any further contact with her as it was aggressive and intimidating.

Thank you very much!

OK WELL FIRST OFF I LIVE IN NC SO I DONT HOW YOUR LAWS ARE WHERE EVER YOU ARE BUT MAYB THIS CAN HELP YOU OR ANSWER SOME YOUR QUESTIONS:


1: THE "FATHER"[[IF THATS WHAT HE IS]] HAS THE RIGHT TO GET A DNA TEST TAKEN AND IF IT COMES BACK TO HIM AS BEING THE FATHER HE HAS THE RIGT TO PETITION FOR HIS NAME TO BE PUT ON THERE, BUT FOR HIS BEST INTREST IF HE JUST WANTS TO KNOW AND DONT HAVE A JOB HES BETTER AT NOT DOING THAT FOR AS THE STATE CAN TAKE CHILD SUPPORT FROM HIM

2: YOU AS THE MOTHERS MOTHER HAVE THE FIRST RIGHT TO CLAIM GRANDPARENTS RIGHT. SHE CAN BUT AFTER YOU FIRST. YOU SAY SHE IS A ALCOHOLIC WELL IF YOU CAN PROVE THAT SHE IS OR THAT YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER HAVE A STABLE PLACE TO LIVE FOOD, CLOTHING ETC. YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER WILL PROBABLY WIN.

3. LIKE I SAID BEFORE YOU CAN GET GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS. AT BIRTH JUST HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER SIGN OVER TEMPERARY GUARDIANSHIP.

4. NO YOU DONT HAVE TO INCLUDE AS MY BESTFRIEND AT AGE 17 JUST WENT THROUGH THIS LAST MONTH. SHE AND THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER WANTED TO HAVE A BABY AND AFTER SHE GOT PREGNANT HE DIDNT WANT TO BE WITH HER. THEY BROKE UP. SHE CALLED HIM TRIED TO INCLUDE HIM IN THINGS AND HIM 19 WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH HER WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT NO SUPPORT TO HER AT ALL. SHE FINALLY HAD THE BABY JULY 14TH 2007, HE WAS NOTIFIED BY ONE OF THE MOTHERS FRIENDS WHO WASNT SUPPOSED TO TELL. THE "FATHER" SHOWED UP AT THE HOSPITAL AND WAS ESCORTED OUT BY 5 COPS AS THE MOTHER AND THE MOTHERS NEW BOYFRIEND OF 4 MONTHS DID NOT WANT HIM IN THERE. HIS NAME WAS NOT PUT ON AND HER NEW BOYFRIENDS NAME WAS. HE NOW WANTS TO TRY TO BE INVOLVED AND SHE WONT LET HIM WHICH IS FOR THE BEST

brinajane

fair play to u, its people like you that are called real parents willing to stand next to your daughter like that, i would do the same if it was my daughter just stand by her and she will love u more or it and she will always no that she can come to you for help, at the end of the day everyone makes mistakes in their life but it is just the case that you got to let them get on with it good luck to the both of you

mistyamanard

well I know that in the state of Iowa you only have to be five years apart , if it is more then that then the other person can be charged. I just think you need to find out what the law is where you live. Every state is different in some way.

this8384

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation and you'll be in my prayers. However, I don't think it's illegal as they were both under the age of 18; it would probably be best to check your state law, though.


Sounds to me like this woman is freaking out because she's seen the bad side of young parenthood, no? I think she's afraid that her son is going to be "taken advantage of" even though he consented to unprotected sex


I commend you for this. He should be man enough to support his child without the court ordering it.


Again, check your state law. I was unmarried when my daughter was born; because of the law in my state, I would not have been able to list a father's name on the birth certificate. My boyfriend had to sign a voluntary paternity acknowledgement admitting the child was his so we could put his name on the certificate.


Only if he signs an acknowledgement form or if a paternity test is done. Otherwise, there's no proof the child is his, thereby keeping her from any claim to the child. If he signs the form, it will bar him from denying the child or asking for a paternity test in the future.


Absolutely, if the boy's mother is such a hellion. A 14-year-old is not capable of raising a child on her own.


No, that's her responsibility. Again, until a paternity test is done, she really has no say in this. I would at least try to make reasonable attempts to include her because there'll be hell to pay if she "got excluded" from the birth of her grandchild.

N0help4u

I bumped the send button before I finished reply to nc. it may not be legal for 14 yr olds but that is like saying it is illegal to smoke pot-most everybody does. The law doesn't seem to get enforced unless there is a problem to cause it to get enforced. Also it is illegal for an adult to have sex with a minor regardless if they consent.

Once he is 18 and they are still together he could get in trouble for being with a minor.
I think if they stay together and it is going to be a good enough lasting relationship I think
you can sign papers giving permission for them to marry. I think it would be good to do #3 as soon as possible so the other grandparents have a harder time fighting for rights and if his name is not on the birth certificate they would have a harder time. They would have to get a court order for DNA tests to prove they are the grandparents and so forth.
I think you should explain to the father that it would be best for all involved to wait a few years before his name is added to the birth certificate. In the meantime it can say father unknown. As far as his rights let him be a father to the baby and put his name on the birth certificate when your daughter turns 18.

kitten94515

yes you can get full custody, just you would have to go to court and you HAVE to say your reasoning for wanting FULL, such as the dads mother is an alcoholic, and he can get visitation and weekends, the only way he can keep the baby fully is i fyou allow it.