http://www.askmehelpdesk.com en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:09:13 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_imgs/misc/rss.jpg http://www.askmehelpdesk.com http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/used-citizenship-417846.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:27:26 GMT I met a women on a dating website from another country, we got to know each other, things were working out fine, we fell in love and got married. After we were married, things changed.. No more love, nor more interest, sex once an a while, each time, a child popped up.. So i have two children in a... I met a women on a dating website from another country, we got to know each other, things were working out fine, we fell in love and got married. After we were married, things changed.. No more love, nor more interest, sex once an a while, each time, a child popped up.. So i have two children in a short time.. Now I'm stuck with a women, whom just stays home, does nothing, does not love me, but is happy to do nothing, and feels since we have kids, there is nothing I can do?? Is that true?? ]]> Marriage Cromulock http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/used-citizenship-417846.html http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/torn-between-financial-security-love-417740.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:36:33 GMT I have been married for 35 years to a man I met when I was 17 years old. We have had a reasonable good marriage, with the normal ups and downs. The past 4 years has been quite rocky and I have not been happy in the relationship, but have stayed with my husband, and have tried my best to make... I have been married for 35 years to a man I met when I was 17 years old.

We have had a reasonable good marriage, with the normal ups and downs.
The past 4 years has been quite rocky and I have not been happy in the relationship, but have stayed with my husband, and have tried my best to make the marriage work.
We are both successfull business people. We have set a lot of goals for ourselves and have achieved those by working long hours. We live in a beautiful house, and have financial security.

38 Years ago when I was 14 , I met an amazing guy. (he was 17 at the time) We were first lovers.

He finished school and had to leave for the army. I moved away, and we lost touch.

I never forgot this guy. I have often thought about him.
In 1983 I read a magazine article about him - he was honored as one of the youngest, most successful business men in the country. To this day I still have that magazine.

One year ago, we reconnected . (on an internet website)
He now lives in another country(for the past 19 years).
He has also been married for 34 years and has two children (both married).
He has also been unhappy in his marriage the past 3 years.

We decided to meet again. He visited me a year ago and we were reunited after 38 years. The first time we saw each other after 38 years, it felt like nothing had changed -
we are older, yes, but our love and feelings for each other were as strong if not stronger than before!

We spend three weeks together, and realized that we were still deeply in love with each other. Before he returned home, we decided that we want to be together again, as we want to spend our remaining years happy and in love and grow old together!

My lover started divorce proceedings, and is now divorced. He moved into a small apartment and asked me to arrange my divorce and move in with him asap.

My lover lost a great deal of money about 3 years ago and has since been battling to recover financially, with the result that he does not own anything.

Despite this, I decided to move in with him.
I realized that if I moved in with him - I would have to leave my country, start a new life, with no financial security, and would have to start from scratch.
We both literally moved in with just our clothes. No furniture, nothing.
I decided love and happiness was more important and that I wanted to follow my heart.

Since I have moved in with him, things have been very tough. I have had to go out and work. He works from home, on a consulting basis, and we somehow manage.
Life is very different in the new country, and it has been a huge adjustment. I have tried my best to make things work, and have adjusted well.

During my stay with my lover, my husband kept contact with me.
he has asked me to reconsider and return to him, and to give our marriage a second chance.

Although I am deeply in love with my childhood sweetheart, I felt torn and tormented by feelings of guilt, of not keeping my marriage vows and staying with my husband, although I am not in love with him, I do care for him.

I have subsequently returned to my husband, which has devastated my lover.
I am not happy being back with my husband, as much as I try and make the marriage work. My heart is with my lover. My husband knows how i feel.

My lover is begging me to return.

My heart tells me to be with him - I pine for him - we pine for each other - it is a living hell.

I am torn between:

a) my marriage, my present financial security, the stability of my husband, but no love from my side (basically a loveless marriage - as my husband is not a loving person)

or

b) my deep love for my lover, our love for each other, our compatibility in every sense, a life of financial insecurity, not knowing how we will survive or cope financially, but full of love and happiness.

I realize NO ONE can tell me what to do, this is a decision only I can make.

The reason I am writing is that I believe an outsiders view and input might put a clearer perspective on the issue for me. ]]> Marriage Sweet Fire http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/torn-between-financial-security-love-417740.html http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/know-year-do-marrige-417384.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 07:32:41 GMT hi i want to know when i will do marriage ,at which age and with whome . i want 2 know about my marriage life . thank u hi
i want to know when i will do marriage ,at which age and with whome . i want 2 know about my marriage life .
thank u ]]> Marriage richajohari http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/know-year-do-marrige-417384.html http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/rushed-into-marrige-23-now-relize-im-unhappy-im-settling-417199.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:15:12 GMT i met my husband "jeff" when i was a sophmore, age 20. we moved fast, we boughta mobile home after only being together for a year. we were engaged also by that time. jeff was my first serious relationship. my issues; we got married this past spring and i already want a divorce. jeff is a great guy, i just think iv out grown him. i think we have grown apart . i find that i bite my tongue alot, and i find myself always feeling like i did something wrong. im sp tired of hearing the words " im sorry" and " ill change". for the last year and a half i have been really attracted to his best friend "steve". steve and i graduated high school together. over the last year and a half i have strong feelings for steve, and they getting stronger and stronger. my husband jeff has been hurt so many times that i dont want to hurt him. he is five years older then me and less educated. i find myself seeking an intellegent man who has goals and ambitions. instead of a man who enjoys being at home playin games. comfused:( ]]> Marriage bride09 http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/rushed-into-marrige-23-now-relize-im-unhappy-im-settling-417199.html http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/what-should-do-417065.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:41:44 GMT what should i do,found out my husband got a child but not out of wed-lock what should i do,found out my husband got a child but not out of wed-lock ]]> Marriage PEYTONTYLER http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/what-should-do-417065.html http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/old-love-ghost-affecting-marriage-417057.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:45:58 GMT Hi everyone!

I hope someone out there can relate to this feeling I have and can give me a very good advice. I swear this situation is driving me crazy and I feel I'm half living...

I'm 25 now. When I was 21 I went to Australia as an exchange student. It was really an incredible experience that changed my life. During my first month there I met an Australian, he was 27 and a very nice man. We start going out and I fell head over hills for him. So much, that I slept with him. That was my firs time. Unfortunately I didn't realize he was playing with me and the moment we had sex everything went from bad to worse until I broke up with him because the pain of knowing he really was not that into me was unbearable.

After two months of feeling heartbroken and sad, I met a wonderful incredible man. I could tell that he was ALL that I wanted. Sensitive, caring, responsible, loving, handsome. We started going out and eventhough I realized I was not over my past relationship I knew he was too good to just let him go. To make a long story short. We got married.

My problem is that I know my relationship with my now husband would be much better if I didn't think of my first love (Australian guy). We had a very short relationship but yet it was the first and strongest love I ever felt. I know I was the one who broke up. I know he obviously didn't deserve me. And yet I only thing on the few good moments we shared.

This is an obsession. I KNOW. I just wish there was a therapy a good recipe, ANYTHING that could help me with this feeling. I onced talked with him on msn and told me that he regrets the way he treated me. Yet he would never tell me to go back with him, nor would I ever trust him. I have analized myself and I know is a pattern I have. My father really never pay to much attention to me (or pays) so I know that I have this feeling for unhealthy relationships... I REALLY REALLY want to get over him....

I know my husband doesnt deserve a woman that a lot of the time is fantasizing about what could have been done in order to make her past relationship work. I do love my husband. I just have never felt the same level of love and passion I felt for the Australian. I just want my ex to disappear from my mind. The scariest part is that sometimes I wonder if all this internal dialogue is just evidence that my husband is not the person for me. But whenever I picture my life without him it just doesn't work :S

If there was a medicine that I could take that would errase my feelings and thoughts about my ex I would certainly take it.

Thanks for reading, and I'll appreaciate all your answers :) ]]> Marriage imasking http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/old-love-ghost-affecting-marriage-417057.html http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/want-know-future-wifes-details-417009.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:02:05 GMT i want to know my future wife's details ]]> Marriage kannoth http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/want-know-future-wifes-details-417009.html