My sister is getting married very soon. She and her fiance have suggested that guests give a gift in the form of a donation of money towards their honeymoon, as they have already been living together for some years and are all set up. (They made this suggestion on the invitations in a most polite manner, but I know that it's more than a suggestion)
Therefore, my question is not what to give, but how much?
They are spending quite alot on this wedding. Thing is - I've already spent close to $800 to gussy up as her bridesmaid and can't afford to give them as much as I'd like to.
How should I avoid feeling embarrassed when the day rolls around?

wynelle

[quote= Thing is - I've already spent close to $800 to gussy up as her bridesmaid and can't afford to give them as much as I'd like to.
How should I avoid feeling embarrassed when the day rolls around?[/QUOTE]

By giving what you can afford with a big smile and a hug.

Perhaps by making a personalized basket--say if they are going to the beach on their honeymoon, you get a beach bag, two towels that you have monogrammed, some magazines, sunblock and sun visors. You can do that for about $75.

Or have room service deliver champagne or flowers to their suite welcoming them on their honeymoon.

But to be honest, only you control how you feel. If you do the best you can afford, then there is nothing for you to be ashamed of. (It is your sister who should be ashamed for her overwhelming lak of good taste and etiquette)

alkalineangel

I agree with Gramadidi's suggestions. They were excellent ideas. But I also think that it was wrong of your sister to put that in the invitation. Look how it has made you feel.

lacuran8626

Sorry my response appeared to offend you.

I guess my feeling reading your post was that you are spending all this money, and now you are feeling the pressure to shell out even more and the couple is telling people what to give them. I know it's popular today to ask for gifts and be more bold about it, but the stated expectation of a gift is always poor form. Registering for a gift is about as far as I feel any bride and groom should go. Stating preferences for money is really kind of a crappy thing to do. If they would preffer money, they can simply not register for gifts at all.

As for how much to give, I agree with the respondant who stated that a good rule is to consider how much they are spending to have you at the wedding, and spend a bit more on the gift. That said, you should not spend more than you can afford even if it's $20 and dinner is $60 a person.

islandofdreams

Whether or not it is in poor taste to include a request for money on the invite (which it is, RUDE, in my opinion) here are my thoughts.

Give what you can afford to give. I was in a similar situation with my brother's wedding. I had spent so much on travel (4 wedding showers), the dresses, the engagement gift, shower gifts, you name it, I could only afford to purchase them a $75 present. That was all I could afford. Yes, I know, could have put it on credit.. But in the end, no one cared. You give what you can afford and leave it at that.

Lowtax4eva

This question is 3 months old now so im guessing the wedding already happened.

gypsy456

It's not what is said...but how it's being said.

We can say the harshest of words but still be respectful...