unexpected visitors

joycesewandsew · #1 Feb 8, 2004, 08:53 AM

How should I handle family members who show up at my door unexpectedly. I have asked them repeatedly to call first to see if their visit is convenient for me, but for some reason they refuse to respect my wishes. Please advise.
joycesewandsew

speedball1 · Feb 8, 2004, 02:05 PM

Hi Joyce, A family that shows up at your door unannounced AND uninvited. And after they're in they preach a four hour nonstop sermon? You do have a problem don't you? When that happens, and you see them get out of their car meet them at the door, stand there, don't let them in and say, " Oh! I'm sorry I was just going out. I have a very important appointment. I could have saved you the trip if you had called. Next time why not call and see if I'm free." And walk out the door and leave for a cup of coffee. Next time same thing. They'll get the message. Just don't be a wuss and let them in to your house. If ya do you're doomed. Joyce, I gotta be frank here. I kinda wish I had your problems. I'd have so much fun solving them. Good luck, Tom

joycesewandsew · Feb 8, 2004, 03:31 PM

Hi Tom, thanks for your reply. Actually, I've begged and pleaded for a number of years with my sister and neice while explaining to them I think it is "the height of rudeness" to show up at anyone's door unexpectedly (unless of course, its an emergency). Since this has gone on for a number of years, I feel they simply are not willing to respect my wishes and it has really dampened our relationship.
Thanks,
Joyce

a1succesforce · Mar 19, 2004, 05:48 PM

Hi Joyce,

People who make a habit of showing up unexpectedly and uninvited should not be considered guests. Go about your routine as if they were not there. Above all do not cater to them. Make phone calls, watch TV, take a nap, or read a book. It's your family and you are willing to treat them like it, but they should be willing to treat you the same.

Hope that helps,
a1successforce

loveland80537 · Jun 1, 2004, 09:59 PM

Joyce:

Glad these are your family members and not mine. Are they deaf AND dumb???

Calling before showing up means just that. I would go to the door, explain, AGAIN, that a phone call is mandatory in order to gain access to my home and without the courtesy of calling first, they are not welcome. Shut the door. End of story.

Harsh? You bet. But some people have to be hit up along the side of the head with a 2x4.

Don't back down - good luck!

joycesewandsew · Jun 6, 2004, 08:21 AM

Thanks, I think they don't get the message because they don't want to get the message. Ha!

Gkhster · Jul 4, 2004, 03:13 AM

Since you have tried being 'nice', it is time to get serious!

Knock Knock,

{through the closed door} I am sorry, but I've run out of clean laundry, and I'm not wearing anything!

or

I have a horrible stomach flu, and I can't be away from the toilet!

or

We just got a pet alligator, and it has escaped!

or

I haven't finished laying out the snake/scorpian/trantula repellant yet!

or

If you are the police, I don't know anything about any dead bodies!

Make sure they hear you howl with laughter. Perhaps next time they will call ahead to avoid your creativity!

If this hasn't helped, I hope that it has at least made you smile!

Guy

smark · Aug 27, 2004, 04:14 PM

Don't answer the door.

artistall · Aug 27, 2004, 08:55 PM

I know it is difficult because they are family but I also know the stress that is associated with this type of situation. You Need Your Privacy!!! I have been through your dilemna and I can help you but I would like to know a few things! First off do you live in a house or an apartment? Secondly can you see who is at the door without opening the door and can you see them getting out of the car? Do they show up at a Usual time or just sporadically? Can they peer into your window to see that you are there? What I'm getting at is this; if you "Cannot" see who is at the door without opening it then leave a notepad on the door that says you went shopping "Please leave a message" and Don't answer the door! If you "Can" see who is there without opening the door then just don't answer or open the door. Make sure you have Caller ID so you wont inadvertantly answer and reveal that you are really there!! It's sad that you have to resort to these "Hide and Seek" tactics But believe me they will get tired of coming over unannounced to find you are not home!

manutd4eva · Jan 1, 2006, 03:56 AM

i would just answer the door say "sorry im busy you sould have called" and close the door. dont engage in anymore conversation about what you are doing just close the door and if they can see you through the window just carry on with something normal like tidying up or to take the p**s if they hang around go make a cup of tea or a drink etc and sit down and relax infront off the tv lol then they will get the message