Hi all. This is very much a grey area and I really dont know the correct etiquette for this situation.

Last night was my husbands work Christmas party. It was an informal BBQ at his boss's home. It was pre-arranged last week that the wives would each bring 2 salads and 1 dessert. The boss also told the wives to keep their supermarket receipts for re-imbursement for the cost of the food by the company. The boss was paying for the bbq meat and alcohol from the company's petty cash.

Hubby and I caught a taxi to the party. There was a massive amount of food left over, with only about 30% eaten. On leaving at the end of the night, the taxi arrived earlier than expected and I told the hostess we would be back tomorrow to pick up our salad bowls.

On our return the next day to pick up our things, the boss's wife handed me back all the bowls - empty. She had kept all the left-over food for themselves. Also the boss said he wouldn't be able to re-imburse us for the cost of what we brought, as he'd spent all the budget on the meat and drinks.

Am I justified in feeling just a little used? I'm thinking that all the workers contributed financially to the party, the boss used the petty cash to pay for some, and then the boss and his wife kept what was left. This is not the first time this has happened.

Just curious about others opinions?

fredg

Hi,
Personally, that's the last time I would attend a Christmas party given by the boss!
The boss said the company would pay for the food, with a receipt; but then says, "no". That in itself, is enough said about this particular boss. He is not a man of his word, and that is not the Christmas Spirit, as well as an outright lie.
I think they should have returned the food not eaten to you, but it's not surprising they didn't, considering the lie about the receipts.
I feel the way you do. I would feel "used", too, and that would be my last trip to one of their parties. If you feel you "have" to go, for the sake of the job, I would make up some excuse not to go.
Others here will have opinions and maybe they can help with this some, too.
I think the whole thing is very rude on your boss' part, to say the least! Best of luck.

tree hugger

Thanks fredg, I appreciate your moral support.

Was also wondering if anyone else has been in this or similar situation?

Maybe its just me, I might have 'doormat' stamped on my forehead. The exact same situation happens at the inlaws at Christmas too.

fredg

Hi, tree hugger,
You are quite welcome. I am sure others here will be along to voice their opinions as well.
I live in the Great Smokey Mountains, in SouthWest VA; where "mountain folk" live; for the past 28 years. Love it. Got tired of the Washington, DC, area, with their "beltway" and millions of vehicles on the roads every day.
"Etiquette" here is a little different than in much larger populated areas. Here, it's based on "what's right" with others, and caring for others.
Again, your boss is not a very caring person, and I'm sorry you got caught up in all this.

Fr_Chuck

Do you enjoy the party ?

You are getting upset over left overs?????

Parties like this are more often much more than social events, depending on your husbands position with the company it is a required company event, even if they don't say it is.


In previous companies it would have been company sucicide not to attend bosses parties.

Next so it happened before, why on this earth did you expect it to not happen this time.


And you did get your bowls back.

I really don't see what the big issue is

bizygurl

I think you have every right to be a bit peeved about the situation. Bottom line is if the boss had announced that people would be reinbursed(can't spell) for the food than he should have stuck by his word and did it. Thats just basic common respect. If he had no intensions on reimbursing than he shouldn't have said so. Then you wouldn;t have expected anything. Unfortunately there are people out there who take advantage of others generosity and there isn't a whole lot you can do.

CaptainForest

You are pissed? I would be too....

The boss said you would be reimbursed if you have your receipt, he lied. That arrogant jerk.

As for the left over food...well, he should have given you the food back since he didnt reimburse you, but if he was to reimburse you then he could have kept the food.

It happened with your in-laws too (doesnt that mean your husbands parents????) And if thats the case, I hope your husband laid into his folks for that.

tree hugger

Thats my take on it too CaptainForest. If he had re-imbursed me as he originally stated, then he would have been well within his rights to keep the food.

At the inlaws for Christmas, we take a ham and dessert. Always I have to ask for the left-overs to bring home, its never offered to me. I could never do that in my home. If someone brings food to my house for a function, any leftovers is always returned to that person. If it isn't returned, I see it as making a profit out of friends and family, (and I'll never be accused of that).

orange

As everyone else has said, the boss was very rude to go back on his word. I would be really upset if I thought I was getting reimbursed for bringing food and then wasn't paid back! I don't exactly have piles of money to throw around, especially for my employer to take advantage of!! I would have felt better if he had given the food back to me or at least have given the extra to a food bank or soup kitchen. But to keep it for himself when only 30% was used?? That's like you're paying his grocery bill for him. Totally inappropriate. I don't blame you for being upset.

Actually I've never had that happen to me. At all the pot luck functions I've attended, people get their leftovers returned to them. It's pretty much expected. The people who take your leftovers, even if they are related to you, seem pretty rude.

bizygurl

Your in-laws don't offer you your leftovers? thats so messed up. If I went through all that trouble to make a ham (and those suckers arn't easy to make) I would have at least wanted to be asked if I wanted the leftovers. Since it was me who went through the trouble to cook it. At least your courteous to give back the leftovers. If the person is fine with you keeping it than thats fine but the person who brought the food should at least be asked.