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My fiance and I have been together for quite a few years and our marriage is coming up. When we announce the upcoming wedding at family gatherings or social events, we are peppered with questions about children in our future (to the point of being rude and prying). Neither of us want children and don't plan on having any for various reasons. I want to know how we can politely tell people that there will be no kids without us coming off as a heartless couple.
We've tried to duck the question many times and it usually ends with one of us being asked 'What's wrong with you?' or 'You don't know what you want'. My parents and my fiance's are also being asked this question often and are comfortable with our plans of being child-free. I feel bad that our close family is being stressed over this question.
My fiance and I have been together for quite a few years and our marriage is coming up. When we announce the upcoming wedding at family gatherings or social events, we are peppered with questions about children in our future (to the point of being rude and prying). Neither of us want children and don't plan on having any for various reasons. I want to know how we can politely tell people that there will be no kids without us coming off as a heartless couple.
We've tried to duck the question many times and it usually ends with one of us being asked 'What's wrong with you?' or 'You don't know what you want'. My parents and my fiance's are also being asked this question often and are comfortable with our plans of being child-free. I feel bad that our close family is being stressed over this question.
I always find that staring people who ask unwelcome questions straight in the face and asking, "Why would you ask me that?" causes them to shuffle away without any additional questions.
Covers all sorts of inquiries about finances, children, anything else you can think of that you don't feel they have a right to ask.
I have no idea why people think they have the right to ask about future children of a couple. If you don't WANT kids, it's an uncomfortable question. If you WANT kids, and haven't been able to conceive, it's a hurtful question.
I would respond with something along the lines of "We don't plan on having children, consider that to be a personal decision, and have not asked for your opinion on it."
We get the question all the time, and are having problems with conceiving---and I've found that the answer "I guess we aren't doing it right---YOU have kids! How about you strip, hop up on the table, and show us what we should be doing?"
I have no idea why people think they have the right to ask about future children of a couple. If you don't WANT kids, it's an uncomfortable question. If you WANT kids, and haven't been able to conceive, it's a hurtful question.
I would respond with something along the lines of "We don't plan on having children, consider that to be a personal decision, and have not asked for your opinion on it."
We get the question all the time, and are having problems with conceiving---and I've found that the answer "I guess we aren't doing it right---YOU have kids! How about you strip, hop up on the table, and show us what we should be doing?"
Similar situation - I have no living children. My son died in infancy; I have had a number of miscarriages. People who ask stupid questions ("Why don't you have any children? You'd be a good mother") deserve what they get as a response - including, "What's wrong with you to ask a question like that."
I'm sorry for the loss and the heartache. I too have had miscarriages and would love to add more to my family, but I guess it's not in the cards at this time.
I'm sorry for the loss and the heartache. I too have had miscarriages and would love to add more to my family, but I guess it's not in the cards at this time.
My husband had once had enough and said to a woman who asked me why I didn't have children (he did, from a former marriage): "We were afraid if we had children they would turn out like yours."
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