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    abtjeep's Avatar
    abtjeep Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 17, 2006, 07:32 PM
    In law etiquette
    I have a very difficult dilemma. I have married into a very nice family and they are very educated, well appointed people who have very good intentions. My biggest problem is that I cannot bring myself to spend very long in their company because they have one very disgusting personal habit, not the men, the women in this family cannot seem to keep their hands away from their noses. These are minimum bacheloreate-degreed people who pick their noses at the age of 50 plus!! How do I handle this habit that is quite frankly nauseating? I feel so disgusted sometimes that I can barely contain my dinner.
    Please HELP!
    caesars charm's Avatar
    caesars charm Posts: 80, Reputation: 7
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    #2

    Dec 17, 2006, 09:06 PM
    I had to laugh when I read your post because I too notice a lot of people with the same habit. At least that's what I think it is. Nothing seems worse and when you don't know what to say to them it's something else. I think most people who do this don't even realize they're doing it. I know of one fellow who looks at his hands every time he does it, like he's checking to see if anything is on them which is really weird also. Wish I knew what to say to these people to.
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #3

    Jan 22, 2007, 03:45 PM
    I laughed too when I read this. My dear late husband, who was also very well educated used to burp very loudly without covering his mouth. This would happen when we were out in public, at dinner with friends,. Since I was married to him, it was very easy to have a conversation with him about it. He was horrified because he had been doing it for so many years that he didn't even realize it was happening! Needless to say, once I pointed it out as nicely as possible, I did have to remind him (oh so) gently a few more times and it finally stuck.

    So, I have a suggestion that I believe will make them think about their habits without insulting them.

    Next time you have a get together, bring along a pocket sized pack of tissues. When one of them starts "searching for the gold", gingerly pull out the package from your pocket and very nicely ask: "Would you like a tissue?" Then leave it up to them. Just do this every time it happens. If they are that obtuse and don't pick up on it, one of their spouses or other family member will. Hopefully, that other person is in a position where they can speak to them privately. It believe if you handle it correctly and are very nice while you are doing it , it will be apparent that you are trying to be helpful and not rude.
    froggy7's Avatar
    froggy7 Posts: 1,801, Reputation: 242
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    #4

    Jan 27, 2007, 10:55 AM
    Ok... here's your chance to help one of these people. I am, by nature, a mouth breather. I absolutely can not blow my nose! I can breathe through my nose if I consciously think about it, but if it's stuffed up, then that just doesn't work. You hand me a tissue, tell me to close my mouth and blow my nose, and I will try until I have to literally open my mouth and gasp to get my breath, but without ever getting anything out of the nose. So there are times that I will pick my nose, as a break from sniffling. I do try to limit it to times and places where I am not around company.

    Any helpful tips will be tried. Especially right now, when I have a miserable cold to deal with.
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #5

    Jan 27, 2007, 11:15 AM
    Froggy, sorry to hear about your miserable cold. I think you question is more of a health and Medicine question than an etiquette question. I don't know what health conditions would cause your breathing problem. It sounds like you never learned to breathe through your nose correctly or learn how to blow out through your nose. I don't know if there is any long term health issue that might arise from this and it would be wise for you to check this out.

    There is an expert named J_9 here who I believe could better answer your question. Post your query under the Health & Wellness, Medical conditions subtitle. If she is not online, she will eventually sign on and see your post. In your posting, be specific. Do you have a sinus or medical condition (other than a stuffy nose) that forces you to breathe through your mouth? Give her a bit of history.

    Sorry for your troubles and doubly sorry I can't be of more assistance than this.
    cjcdallas's Avatar
    cjcdallas Posts: 63, Reputation: 6
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    #6

    Feb 3, 2007, 04:21 PM
    LMAO!!
    I would buy all of them some very nice handkerchiefs. If they are as smart as you stated they will get the idea... If they do not try yacking up your dinner once and then tell them why.. HAHAHAHA
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #7

    Feb 3, 2007, 04:58 PM
    What annoys me is when your sitting in a restaurant and somebody blows there nose so loud and in front of you while your eating. Gross.

    Joe
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #8

    Feb 3, 2007, 05:02 PM
    What Joe? You mean to say that you don't find that to be a pleasant way to eat your meal? Incredible!! :p

    You know what drives me nuts, is when you are at the table and another person is chewing with their mouth wide open! Or even worse, keeps talking while they are doing it!! :eek:
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #9

    Feb 3, 2007, 05:05 PM
    Oh that is bad too. There are so many bad habits. Unfortunately it is my wife that is unhappy with the habits of my family. She thinks I was adopted because I actually have manners. Lol
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #10

    Feb 3, 2007, 05:09 PM
    She thinks I was adopted because I actually have manners.

    Too, too funny. Can't wait to hear more stories about your son. Wait until he starts crawling and gets into everything!:eek:
    cjcdallas's Avatar
    cjcdallas Posts: 63, Reputation: 6
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    #11

    Feb 4, 2007, 03:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by froggy7
    Ok... here's your chance to help one of these people. I am, by nature, a mouth breather. I absolutely can not blow my nose! I can breathe through my nose if I consciously think about it, but if it's stuffed up, then that just doesn't work. You hand me a tissue, tell me to close my mouth and blow my nose, and I will try until I have to literally open my mouth and gasp to get my breath, but without ever getting anything out of the nose. So there are times that I will pick my nose, as a break from sniffling. I do try to limit it to times and places where I am not around company.

    Any helpful tips will be tried. Especially right now, when I have a miserable cold to deal with.
    I actually had a problem with my nose and could not breathe hardly at all through my nose. It stemmed from 4-5 broken noses during high school that caused problems later on. I had to have my turbinates cut/removed and the septum reorientated. This was about a 4-5 hour surgery (outpatient) and somewhat uncomfortable and painful with w very long healing period. With that said I would do it again if the problem ever came up again. I have no sinus issues (infections or otherwise) any longer, drastically reduced snoring, and can breathe in the morning through my nose. Something I could not do for years! I waited to do this until I was over 30 and had I known it would make such a difference I would have done it sooner. I would caution you to get with your doctor for REAL medical advice since your condition may be of a different origin..
    Hope that helps you...

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