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Home > Society & Culture > Etiquette   »   Ex fiance has not given ring back

 
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Old Aug 1, 2007, 10:44 AM
SAB123
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Ex fiance has not given ring back

I'm not taking her to court but my ex fiance broke up with me 6 months ago. I paid $7500.00 for engagement ring and she has not given it back. I heard she has a new boyfriend.

So do think the rite thing/classything to do is to give ring back.

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Old Aug 1, 2007, 10:49 AM   #2  
crystalbivens
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If you gave it to her then it's hers sorry but thats how its gonna probely play out unless she just feels you should have it back.

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s_cianci disagrees: Actually, in most states, small-claims courts have set a precedent that, if the woman breaks the engagement, she is obligated to return the ring if the man wants it back.
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Old Aug 1, 2007, 10:53 AM   #3  
rankrank55
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I agree with crystal; it is hers now, you gave it to her. Legally there is just no way to get it back. Good luck!
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Old Aug 1, 2007, 10:55 AM   #4  
shygrneyzs
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I'll give you the other side of the coin here. The ring was given on the basis of a promise of marriage and since that promise did not come about, the ring goes back to you. If you took her to court over this, you would most likely win. Have seen cases like this and the woman was not allowed to keep the ring. Happened to me once and I also did not get to keep the ring. Goood luck.

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SpawnOfAzazel agrees: True! If she broke off the engagement, you get the ring back
RubyPitbull agrees: Correct as usual!
stonewilder agrees: I don't know about other states but where I am at you are right, it is not hers to keep.
tickle agrees: I am in with everyone else here !!
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Old Aug 1, 2007, 11:02 AM   #5  
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I tend to disagree with shygrneyzs based on what I've seen in my area. The ring is deemed as a gift and a court will not have it returned to you. I guess it depends on the circumstances, though.

Etiquette says if you broke her heart, she should keep it. If she broke yours, or its mutual, she should give it back.

Personally, I wouldn't want that kind of reminder. However, she could have gotten rid of it already....
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Old Aug 1, 2007, 11:07 AM   #6  
SAB123
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She broke up with me again 2 months in the breakup I told her I still wanted to marry her and be her son's father. I don't care about the ring no more but I think the classy thing to do is give it back. But I heard she still has it.
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Old Aug 1, 2007, 11:09 AM   #7  
crystalbivens
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unfortunally for him he did give it to her as a gift so its hers, I would give it back myself if i had broke off the engagemnet just to be respectful but now everyone sees it that way.

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stonewilder agrees: An engagement ring is not a gift, it is a promise and when that promise is broken the ring is not morally or legally hers.
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Old Aug 1, 2007, 01:13 PM   #8  
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SAB honey, not to sound cold hearted but you have been asking this question in a few different ways for over 3 months now, along with quite a number of other questions about your ex. Of course the right thing for her to do would be to give you the ring back! But, she has refused to do so. And, from all that you have written about her since you joined this web site, she sounds like a very unstable woman. She has placed you on a roller coaster ride of emotional torture.

Honey, you need to get proactive here and stop letting her and thoughts of her, control you like this. Be grateful that you are free from this selfish woman. If you want to try to sue her to get the ring back, then do so. Just be prepared that in a regular court of law, you probably won't win, due to the amount of times you both have broken up with each other, only to get back together again. It becomes a very muddy issue as to whether or not the ring eventually became a mere gift, rather than an actual contract with the understanding that a marriage would take place. But, if you go on Judge Judy's television program, as someone on one of your earlier threads suggested, it might be your best shot of actually getting the ring back.

If you don't want to sue her, then you need to find a way to move on from her and stop obsessing over material things you gave to her. Personallly, I think you are so much better off without her. I know it is easier said, than done, to move on from her. But, you have to think about the fact that there was a lot of stress and arguing in your relationship with her. She has played some major head games with you. Who needs that kind of garbage in their lives? No one. No one deserves to be in a relationship that you never know where you stand from one day to the next. Forget about her and her new bf (the next sucker in her life) and start finding some happiness for yourself. Start searching for someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.
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Old Aug 1, 2007, 02:24 PM   #9  
stonewilder
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An engagement ring is not a gift, it is a promise and when that promise is broken the ring is not morally or legally hers.
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Old Aug 1, 2007, 02:57 PM   #10  
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You are right stonewilder, if the girl is the one who broke the engagement. If the man breaks it, she has a right to keep it. That is the standard ettiquette and it is considered a contract under the law in certain states. But, go back and read all of SAB's posts. They broke up, got back together, broke up, got back together,... He paid for a boob job for her and wanted to sue her over that at one point, along with the ring. This question that SAB has posted here goes a lot deeper than a simple etiquette question. Other people have answered this very same question which was posed in a couple of different ways, under different forums over the past few months. I don't understand this obsession to keep gathering opinions. I am very worried about him.
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