At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
How many woman here hate it when a stranger calls them ma'am personally I hate
this word.I am 40 years old but when someone says ma'am it just sounds like it is for someone much older.I would prefer to br called madam instead.what about the rest of you?
When I was in my early 20's I liked it and didn't understand why some women would tell me how it made them feel old when I'd call them ma'am. Now that I'm older (not that old) I don't like it much, although I appreciate that their parents taught them some manners. I think someone calling me madam would make me feel like I'm an old maid of royal blood... I don't really like that either.
In my part of Texas it is always yes Ma'am or no ma'am or yes sir or no sir. It is a sign of respect but with a tone of voice it can alway mean something else besides respect. But everyone that deserves it is called Ma'am.
i picked this up from my grandfather, and he got it from the military. he'd say "yes, sir" or "no, ma'am" to the person doing the lowliest job. it was simply a respectful term that was a "reflex" for him... he'd have to mentally force himself not to say it.
i worked with a guy who hated that i used "sir" and a friend of my fathers hated it too... made him feel "old"...
Well as a Southerner my self Born and bred Here in North Carolina i was raised to say yes mam no sir it was a staple and a habit and just the way i was raised i was taught to say it and yea i get ones that make comments to me say like i work for a livin no need to say sir or some will say im not old yet i mean the majority of people who say it arent mean about it its just outta the way i was raised southern people have that mentality i know i dont mean anything bad by it but to each thier own cant please everyone all the time lol
I was born and raised in Arkansas and the use of ma'am was not an option. The general rule of thumb is anyone more than 10 years older gets the "ma'am."
What makes me feel old (I'm 40 also) is the young people in my workplace that call me "Miss Em." Like I'm Miss Daisy in need of a driver. I realize it is a sign of respect, and ask them to drop the Miss, but it makes some uncomfortable, so I have stopped asking.
You can call me Ms. or Mrs. or Ma'am, just don't call me late to supper!
I too hate being called Ma'am, and have to agree with one of my female clients in her belief that, "it should be a curse word". Or, as I've seen else where, "Ma'am isn't just a four letter word..it's a four letter word with an apostrophe in the middle."
First off, to correct the response above, every etiquette book asserts that "Ma'am" IS the female equivalent of "Sir". Where you are mixed up is that there is no MALE equivalent of MISS.
The confusion here, is that all our lives women are addressed as "Miss". "How can I help you, Miss?" "Can I get that for you, Miss". Then women pass an Invisible Barrier, and MARRIED OR NOT, people everywhere start calling us Ma'am. We notice it, and wonder why.
People UNCONSCIOUSLY call "older" women Ma'am and "younger" women Miss. It happens all the time. I can tell you of plenty of times I've gone to the store, and a woman not more than 10 years younger than I, also "unmarried", gets addressed as Miss, while the same clerk addresses me as Ma'am. That hurts. I have also purposely taken notice, that if I fix my hair nicely, and wear makeup, and dress more sexily - I am usually NOT called Ma'am when I go shopping! You should try it!!
The solution, I suggest, is what many clerks do - just be pleasant, and polite and attentive and say, "Can I get that for you?", or "Excuse me, I can help you over here,", or "How was your dinner tonight?" Did anyone see anything wrong with any of those? I don't. But, when I get a "Can I get that for you, Ma'am" or "I can help you over here, Ma'am" etc , I just want to scream. It's just not necessary to add the Ma'am or even the Miss. I don't think any stranger has the right to make assumptions about my age or marital status.
Society is too complicated these days to assume WHO everyone is, how old they are, what address makes them comfortable, or whether or not they want to be addressed at all. We can leave the 'titles' and 'addresses' for the people we know, and leave them off for strangers.
Linear Mode
