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What kind of spider is this?
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This is the strangest thing I have ever seen... It is a 4-legged spider (spins webs and everything), so I'm guessing it must be mutated or injured somehow... But I can't tell what species it actually is.
It's fairly aggressive (bit my grilfriend!), about 1/4 inch in length, with a light, honey-colored head, and large, yellowish-white abdomen with a dark spot that seems to be directly on the spinneret. It also has two asymmetrical light brown spots on its belly, but they don't seem to be special markings; maybe just the spider equivalent of freckles or moles.
There are only four legs, and they are also light colored, with slightly darker bands at the joints. It is definitely a web spinner -- it hung from its web each time I tried to knock it off the lid of the container it's in, but I haven't observed it using the web as anything other than a safety line.
So, first question is, should my grilfriend be at the doctor's office right now? And second question is, what the hell is this thing?