I Feel Bad!

20anonymous08 · Jun 26, 2009, 08:34 AM

Sorry this is going to be a little long....

Okay so I am a singer/rapper/songwriter/actress and model. I really want to be able to do it all. I don't want there to be anything I CAN'T do. I feel that being well rounded and having a lot of different talents can help you move along. I have been singing as long as I can remember. 7 years ago I started recording. 4 1/2 years ago I started rapping. I write all my own lyrics. Any ways I saw an opportunity to do extra work and quickly jumped onto that. I also needed professional pics so I took advantage of TFP/TFCD opportunities. I have worked on several tv shows, done several photo shoots and I am workin on several albums in addition to features and live performances. This past month things have really started picking up for me. I got with a production company here and he is going to do my photo shoot for my album including costume and makeup. He booked me on a ton of shows (in addition to the other promoters that are booking me) and he cast me in a tv show he is doing. He also works on commercials and is going to get me in there. Then I saw an add on craigslist for a photographer trying to rebuild his portfolio and I want to build one so I would love to have a variety of pictures from different photographers. I also work 8-5 monday thru friday and I am engaged with a 3 year old daughter. My fiancee is generally supportive of me...but like this last week for example I had meetings all week after work and I have one today on my lunch break which varies from studio time to meeting a new photographer to meeting with the production company to shows during the week plus I have a ton of artists asking me for features. My fiancee is getting upset that I am gone so much. I always invite him but he never wants to go. I honestly do really feel bad that I am always leaving and he is stuck at home with our baby. I feel so torn. I'll be at the studio just thinking about and missing them. But I told him when we first got together that music is what i wanted to do and he would have to deal with it or theres the door...and he accepted it but now he is bringin up that 'oh well u didn't tell me u wanted to model and act'. I hate to be away from them believe me but this is part of me and I can't give it up. Sacrifices have to be made in the entertainment business. I mean neither of us go out to party or anything. He never gets to go out on his own really because our daughter is a major daddy's girl or he says he would rather be home with the baby. What I guess I am asking is should I feel bad? I love them with all my heart but as selfish as it sounds the music/acting/modeling really is the most important thing to me. It doesn't mean I love them any less and weekends are generally our time as we are both off and all together. Plus when i am gone after work it is usually just an hour or 2 except when Im in the studio then it is like 4 hours. But is it wrong to be feeling this way? I mean I will NEVER give up music even if that means letting the person that has my heart go. I don't want to be held back and I put music first..then my family. I know when I say it like that it sounds bad but how I look at it is music IS ME it's in my blood so u could saying im putting MYSELF first then my family. I mean all the artists I know that really LOVE music feel the same way. I am just looking for input from others. What do you think? I have tears in my eyes writing about this. Help....TIA for any and all messages.

Altenweg · Jun 29, 2009, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 20anonymous08

I clarified and corrected my original post as my daughter was not intended in this post. So whatever. I have no time for your worthless remarks and I will not return to this stupid worthless board anymore. Like I said hope you can live with a clear conscience and I hope you don't continue to aid and assist in pushing vulnerable people to suicide. Enjoy the rest of your ridiculous worthless life.

~Also for the record this is directed to 'ZoeMarie'~

You are the one that included your daughter in your post. We gave advice based on what you told us.

You're the one that said your career comes before your family. Is your daughter not a part of your family?

You asked the question, we answered based on the information you gave us.

Are you really angry because we're wrong, or is it because we're right?

Based on what you said I stand by what I said. You don't have to like it, heck, you don't even have to read it, but I do have the right to say it. Like it or lump it.

20anonymous08 · Jun 29, 2009, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

You are the one that included your daughter in your post. We gave advice based on what you told us.

You're the one that said your career comes before your family. Is your daughter not a part of your family?

You asked the question, we answered based on the information you gave us.

Are you really angry because we're wrong, or is it because we're right?

Based on what you said I stand by what I said. You don't have to like it, heck, you don't even have to read it, but I do have the right to say it. Like it or lump it.

I understand u must answer based off what is posted. And, in the several posts I added to this I clarified that. My daughter is not involved in this. I was overwhelmed with feeling and incorrectly put my family when I meant fiance. But hey u can't give good advice anyway. Besides being gone after work once or twice a week at most really makes me a bad mother along with the millions of others that do the same thing. Wow u guys are great ha. I'm over it and u can take ur words and shove em!

Altenweg · Jun 29, 2009, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 20anonymous08

I understand u must answer based off what is posted. And, in the several posts I added to this I clarified that. My daughter is not involved in this. I was overwhelmed with feeling and incorrectly put my family when I meant fiance. But hey u can't give good advice anyway. Besides being gone after work once or twice a week at most really makes me a bad mother along with the millions of others that do the same thing. Wow u guys are great ha. I'm over it and u can take ur words and shove em!

I can't give good advice? LMAO. I think the number of people that agree with me proves that I can and do.

This is a classic case of "I posted the truth, then when the fit hit the shan I changed my story to cover up".

Denial is fun, isn't it?

I'll bet that you'll be back. You said you were done the last time you posted, but here you are again.

See you in a bit.