[Kiana122]

I am a girl, and I have had intercourse a lot but I don't feel ANYTHING! And this isn't only strictly intercourse, it's oral, masturbation, manual, ANYTHING. I have tried to search for answers to this on the internet but I never find anything helpful because most of what I see isn't about my problem, it's women that can't reach orgasm mostly. But when I have sex or do anything there is no sensation and most certainly no pleasure. Some of my friends tell me to change the position (tried them all) or maybe my boyfriend isn't big enough or good enough. But all those things wouldn't make sense because he is well endowed, and he is really set on pleasing me all the time, and it's not a mental thing because I am completely in love with my boyfriend. I would say I could tell him what he could improve on but there is no starting point, or anything to work from so I really don't know what to do or what the problem could be. I hope this is not a forever kind of thing, so give advice if you have any, I am desperate!

:confused:

[opheliacgirl23]

Well, it seems like you have tried everything :S
Thought maybe seeing a doctor? They may be able to refer you to somebody who knows about this and the situation you are having and it probably is more common than you think. :) hope this was a little help

[simoneaugie]

Certain infections can make that part of the body feel quite numb. Have your doctor rule out any type of infection, especially candida.

[NewYork123]

How old are you? If you or your boyfriend are young and inexperienced maybe that could be the reason

[Synnen]

If you cannot even find pleasure from masturbation, then I would see your doctor.

[Choux]

This answer is my opinion:

This may come as a shock to you, but being "in love" is not a plus for an inexperienced girl(or women)to having sensual and sexual growth and developing strong passion over time.

Being "in love" is about a girl creating a fantasy state of love, not anything real or mentally healthy or anything conducive to personal growth. It is like a fantasy world. Good healthy orgasmic sex is messy, full of body secretions, urgent and very real.

So, the "in love" bit is holding you back from developing your sexuality. Great sex is two authentic people relating sexually with each other---not one person blinding herself (or himself) with romantic love(that is what being "in love"means). The young girl who in full of romantic ideas is always disappointed about the reality of sexual relations.

As for failing at masturbation, again, you are disconnected from your body and your passion. Are you way too young to have sex?

My opinion.

Good luck going forward, girl :).

[skittles001]

Choux I really don't like your answers, please do not tell this girl to not be in love to have sex, as well you don't know her she seems very much in love with this person. Everything is not philosophical I suggest a little trip to the doctor, best way to be, and please, love can take sex to a new level. See a doctor first, best of luck on your love making.

[Kiana122]

Well I'm 18 years old, and I am pretty experienced. I honestly think this is a health problem, but I just wanted some advice first, I thought maybe this happens to some people. But I guess not. I suppose I will see a doctor but I'm not really sure how to ask that question either? So any advice on that?


Also, I may not know anything about what sex feels like but I do know being comfortable and feeling close to someone BEFORE sex is one of the most important parts. Because if you're not comfortable then you can't ever let lose...

[KBC]

You have sooooo many years ahead of you for learning the true feelings of sex.

At 18 I hope you have double if not triple protection while 'practicing' sex.(and yes at your age it is called practice)

Your lack of feeling while having relations could be more than just inexperience(which no matter how much you believe you are experienced, you aren't all that much,not at 18)It could be him,you,medical reasons,lack of knowledge in your own needs/wants.

How well do you know your own body?Can you feel excited when you pleasure yourself?If you can, what is the difference when 'he' does it with you?Are you communicating clearly to him your desires?

Back to you.

[Kiana122]

Well it was said that I lack experience and I know that may be partially true, but at the same time, as bad as this sounds, I have been having sex since I was 15 and my current boyfriend and all the other boys have been the same situation, I don't feel sex from oral, penetration, hands, or from masturbating. I have tried everyttthinnggg.it seems.
I know I am young, but I am almost obsessed with being sexually educated. And I have talked to almost every single one of my girl friends about my situation and asked for their advice. But there are no real answers for me.
I know a lot of women can't get pleasure from only intercourse, but for me it's EVERYTHING, with a partner, by myself. Nothingggg works.

I have tried every position I can think of, and my boyfriend really tries to work with me on it. But nothing is working it is really frustrating

=/

[Kiana122]

Oh, and by the way. I get regular check-ups and I am completely clean, no std's. But I haven't asked about my current situation.
Does anyone know what are some things they might be able to do to help?

[Synnen]

You need to TALK to your DOCTOR about it.

If NOTHING (including masturbation) is working--then you need to find out whether there is a medical problem.

If there is NOT a medical problem, your doctor will be able to work you to help find the REAL problem.

But---you have to talk to your doctor.

[chrissymarie]

Try getting a clitoral vibrator for during sex. It can be very pleasurable. I have never orgasmed with a man and I do believe it is a mental thing due to lots of masturbation when I was younger. I'm just not used to orgasm with someone else there and its really hard for me to get over that.

[endofmyrope]

Try a product called Xcite, its just a gel that improved sensation.

[italianblazer08]

I have basically the same problem but I can only get off if we use a vibrator on my but other then that I can't feel a thing and I feel bad I have to fake it all the time like I would love if I felt something but its not happening

[Synnen]

This thread is a year old.

CLOSED.