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sonew · Jun 10, 2008, 12:53 PM

So I was in a relationship for a little over two yrs, with a guy who at first glance was head over heels for me (writing love notes, gifts,etc etc.) while I'm the type of person who doesn't trust very easily and doesn't show true feelings right away but ended up loving the guy. And it was good.time passed fighting occurred. Then I broke up with him out of impulse without really discussing anything. (childish I know) the problem is now I really miss him and want him back. I apologized for my error in judgement. And he said that at the moment he couldn't deal with a relationship. There has been no contact for over 2 mnths. Should I just walk away?

starlite1 · Jun 10, 2008, 12:58 PM

Hi Sonew,

I am going through something kind of similar myself. I am sorry you are feeling so upset and confused. If I may ask, what provoked the breakup?

AlwaysWriting · Jun 10, 2008, 01:01 PM

I would make a list of pros and cons, about what was good and what was bad in the relationship. If the good outweighs the bad, then by all means call him up and tell him your feelings.

sonew · Jun 10, 2008, 01:12 PM

We are both young and figuring what we want in life out. I think we were both selfish in the sense we wanted what we wanted and didn't want to hear what the other person was saying. I get that all now and I see the mistakes we both made.

The actual break up or leading up to it was over us meeting up with some friends of mine, though he just wanted to spend time with me alone.

freeatlast1 · Jun 10, 2008, 01:13 PM

Maybe you should reach out one more time and explain yourself again. If you don't hear back, not much you can do now except wait. If he comes back, consider yourself blessed. If he doesn't, the only thing you can do is learn from your mistakes and be a better person next time.

sonew · Jun 10, 2008, 01:13 PM

I've already called, done all the embarrassing stuff we see other people do when they are dealing with a break up that we promise ourselves we would never do when we initially broke up. So now I feel like if I make contact again I am the pathetic girl

freeatlast1 · Jun 10, 2008, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by sonew

i've already called, done all the embarrassing stuff we see other ppl do when they are dealing with a break up that we promise ourselves we would never do when we initially broke up. so now i feel like if i make contact again i am the pathetic girl

Then move on and get on with your life. It is totally out of your control. Only thing you can do is work on yourself and not repeat the same things with the next guy. If he comes back, great, but don't wait on it.

starlite1 · Jun 10, 2008, 01:19 PM

When was the last time you made contact with him?

sonew · Jun 10, 2008, 01:24 PM

Originally Posted by starlite1

When was the last time you made contact with him?

2 months ago.
He has been traveling preplanned trips with buddies and won't be back until July.
Though has kept all memories of us (pics, etc) on his myspace, he said that he couldn't talk to me for awhile.

starlite1 · Jun 10, 2008, 01:25 PM

I would wait until he gets back from his trip, and then try contacting him again, but one more time. Perhaps on this trip he did some thinking as well.

sonew · Jun 10, 2008, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by freeatlast1

Then move on and get on with your life. It is totally out of your control. Only thing you can do is work on yourself and not repeat the same things with the next guy. If he comes back, great, but don't wait on it.

Easier said than done. Not to say its bad advice. I'm meeting new people. Not completely killing myself over this, but my feelings are still there. So I guess I just miss him?

sonew · Jun 10, 2008, 01:31 PM

Originally Posted by starlite1

I would wait until he gets back from his trip, and then try contacting him again, but one more time. Perhaps on this trip he did some thinking as well.

Thanks for the advice. I can only use this time to heal and see what the next few weeks brings.

andy305mia · Jun 10, 2008, 11:38 PM

You had your reasons at that moment when you called it off. But now your regreting it because of all the good memories you had of him. But if he isn't ready for another relationship I think it's best to wal away from the relationship.

talaniman · Jun 12, 2008, 09:56 AM

After 2 months, then you should be well on your way of regrouping, and moving on with your life. No, don't contact him, but continue to work on yourself.

Your feelings of loss are normal, but moving on, is your best answer. Read "The No Contact Calender" it will amaze you as to how many people feel the way you do. Your hardly alone there.

There is a link in my signature for that, and a few more you can benefit from.