He had sex before

Chessca · Oct 6, 2008, 03:43 PM

Hi there, I've just ad the very same problem with a guy aving sex before, all I can say like many other people is just take it slow and don't get pressured into anything.
I'm 13 and I went out with a 15 yr old and thinking about it now I don't even no why I went out with him because he had a rubish personality, he didn't look rite good, and allsorts of other bad stuff. I think I went out with him because he was older and a lot of my friends liked him.

He asked me for sex in the cinema toilets on the 1st date, he had a 1 trak mind.
If your bloke only talks about sex you no the only fing he's after, if he's pushing you let him go!

Find someone you really love to loose your virginity 2 because your only a virgin once

Chess xxx

Chebaby · Oct 9, 2008, 05:40 PM

Stop and think... give yourself time 2 grow mentally as well as physically... it sounds like this guy is only trying 2 get in your pants but he is puting up a good front... sex is not to be rushed in2 it is to be taken seriously and done with someone you love an loves you back

NItEMArE129 · Oct 9, 2008, 05:49 PM

Don't do what you don't want to. Don't trust who you don't want to. Nobody's forcing you to be with him except for him. Step back, don't think about what he has SAID, think about he has DONE. Does he ACT sincere? Is he a good enough person that you HONESTLY think will change? Or is he just buttering you up with sweet words? Don't fall for a wolf in disguise. Be smart, don't listen to his words. Listen to his actions.

Myhearthasgone · Oct 10, 2008, 07:38 AM

Thanks for all of your advice...
The thing is OK I'm not going to have sex with him! I'm more mature..
My question is if I should keep dating him?

SweetDee · Oct 10, 2008, 08:18 AM

Templelane had some really good stuff to say on this subject, personally, (ima go back and rep that!)...

I don't see why you shouldn't DATE him (if that's really the issue). I think it's deeper than that... like it's a TRUST issue. Maybe you've been hurt by someone before? A friend? A family member? You might feel that you need to guard your feelings a little... and that's totally fine, dude. Do what feels right.

You don't know him and the more you date him the more you'll get to know him (and him you). You BUILD trust... Your relationship developes and if he's "worthy" then you stay with him.. until you get bored of each other, I mean you're still only 15, -almost-. By 15 your not such a little girl anymore. You know what you feel deep down inside you and you need to listen to yourself. Instincts play a HUGE roll in who you choose as a boyfriend (or even bff). If your boyfriend "feels right" then you continue on... If he comes off as suspitious IN ANY WAY then BYE-BYE B*TCH! He's JUST a boy... Boys will come and they will go...

You have to be selfish right now in your life. It's TOUGH to be 15... one of the few toughest years ahead of you. Just LISTEN to your instincts. At ANY TIME you can just dump him. It's not a HUGE commitment to date him or anything. It's only a huge one to have oral sex or SEX. Like remember... all you really have at your age is your reputation.. and boys LOVE to talk about "who's doing who" and "who does what". They live to find the next babe who might "do them"... lol, their horny little buggers! (It's not their fault, it's the nature of the beast, LMFAO!).

Stick to boys in the end that are at the same level of comfort that you are at... after all who's life are you living? His or yours? BE ALL ABOUT YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Trust me, he won't be...

JBeaucaire · Oct 10, 2008, 08:38 AM

Just remember the Scorpion and the Turtle (post #11 above). As long as you're OK with the reality of the risk, take the scorpion onto your back.

letmetellu · Oct 10, 2008, 09:02 AM

I am a male and I know that a male will lie sometimes to get what he wants, I also know that a guy that is the most honest and honorable person will try to get a girl engaged in a talk about sex. This is for several reasons, first it is exciting to him to talk about sex with you, all the time that he is talking to you he probably has an erection, therefore very pleasurable to him. Also the more he talks to you about sex he thinks that it will make you a little less resistant to have sex with him.

One other thing I know about guys they do not have to like you to have sex with you in fact a lot of them don't like you but they will do anything for sex.

Don't get me wrong I am not talking about all guys, I am talking about the ones that have not been taught right from wrong and have not been taught to respect females.

SweetDee · Oct 10, 2008, 09:57 AM

We have to remember that she's really talking about DATING him. Not as much the sex part...

Myhearthasgone · Oct 10, 2008, 01:45 PM

Originally Posted by SweetDee

We have to remember that she's really talking about DATING him. Not as much the sex part...

Yes, I'm sure I won't have sex with him... I mean it's not because I don't want to or anything like that but I respect myself.

ANB428 · Oct 10, 2008, 01:50 PM

I would NOT do it. You virginity is something that can only be given away one time. Make sure it is given to a guy who really loves you. I would wait if I were you. You can't take it back once it has been given.

ANB428 · Oct 10, 2008, 01:52 PM

Why would you want to date him if he is having sex with other girls? He probably won't stop unless you are having sex with him. I would clarify the fact that you are not ready to have sex yet and see what he says.

Myhearthasgone · Oct 10, 2008, 02:11 PM

No I won't have sex with him. I am sure of that.

NItEMArE129 · Oct 10, 2008, 06:12 PM

Well remember that if you start dating him he can pressure you even more abou thaving sex. If your absolutely sure that you can control him and yourself, then go ahead. But be careful, if he is the kind of guy who just sees how many girls he can sleep with, then you're in for a really bad run.

mom_2_be_2008 · Oct 10, 2008, 06:39 PM

Just because your with someone that has had sex before is not a good reason to break up with them and I'm not telling you you should sleep with him because your young maybe you need to slow down and talk to him about it and you should let him know that you don't want to be rushed and if you don't understand that then all he want's from you is sex and you should move on

Myhearthasgone · Oct 14, 2008, 12:43 PM

He wants to know if I had sex before. I don't want to tell him I didn't. What should I say? *confused*

JBeaucaire · Oct 14, 2008, 12:55 PM

You see? This is your problem. You have no foundation to deal with this guy at all. You are somehow embarrassed at answering the simplest of sexuality questions.

You need to walk away from this guy. Seriously. I TOLD you he was going to keep the sex issue going, it's on his mind, he's "activated" and you're not. You two are NOT in the same mindset.

If you stay around him only ONE thing can result, you will lose your virginity to him and hate yourself because you don't actually want to do it.

If you can't say, "No, I'm a practicing virgin." and be happy that it's true and non-embarrassing, then you are capable of being manipulated. YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BEING MANIPULATED. Do you understand this? Your embarrassment will betray you in the area of morals.

Either stand by your morals happily, out loud, and without shame, or get the heck away from people who tempt the issue.

Do it yesterday.

skittles001 · Oct 15, 2008, 04:38 PM

Hunny, if you need to ask other people if you should trust him, I really think your heart is telling you something. You are obviously not comfortable. You know there is a saying, that every woman he slept with, your sleeping with when you have sex. What happens if he never used protection, you have to think about sexually transmitted diseases. It is a very serious problem. And don't bother asking him if he has any... chances are that if he already askd you to have sex, e either doesn't know or does and that's bad.

BlessdWitTalenT · Oct 15, 2008, 08:33 PM

Well I'm a guy and I didn't want to have sex with a girl that had it before. That's just nasty to know someone else was in there. Imagine where his little guy has been, its kind of nasty. Just think about it. Don't you want to be a guys first and only one? Its hard to do that but just don't waste your virginity on a guy who has lost his, and still has sex with other girls.

SweetDee · Oct 20, 2008, 03:20 AM

If a girl had sex w/ another man why do some of you guys feel like she's "nasy", (blessedwittalent... )? It's not like the last guys germs are still in her... she DOES bathe.

Maybe I don't get that train of mind... "saving yourself for your husband or wife". I think it's a controversial and debatable idea. What if your significant other is selfish in bed? What if you discover that there really isn't enough chemistry?

Too many variables...

BlessdWitTalenT · Oct 20, 2008, 09:27 AM

I mean its nasty to think that some body else has already been there. Its so good to just be fresh and not have to worry about past things. You only get one first time and it should be with someone really special to you