Hello. I need some advice from those who have been there - done that or not done that.

Here is my situation.
My daughter is 6 years old and is in the first grade. She has a summer birthday and so she is a very young first grader. She made our cut off by 2 weeks when she started kindergarten. The school is now talking about holding her back from moving on to the 2nd grade because her reading skills are not at the appropriate level. They think it is strictly an age thing. They do not think she has a learning disability. They think she is academically immature. They are putting a "team" together that is going to sit down with us and have a talk about what should happen next.
However, she is excelling at everything else. We do not want her to be held back and have expressed that to her teacher. We do know that whatever decision is made - it will be ours in the end.
She reads to us every night and then we read to her. We have hired a tutor for her this summer. She is currently in a special reading class at school - but we are pulling her out because she has not improved and some of the things they teach are actually hindering her performance in other areas.

I believe it will do more harm than good to hold her back - socially and mentally.

I guess my question is - have you held your kid back? Are you happy you did? Were you faced with the option and chose not to? Are you happy with that decision?
I am sure our minds are made up - but I would like some feed back from those who have been in our shoes.

NowWhat

One can only hope. Sometimes you never know that what you are doing as a parent is right. You just hope for the best. Never really knowing (on some things)

Well, I can say this with lots of confidence - we made the right decision. What kind of parent would I be if I didn't want the absolute best for my child?

NeedKarma

That's what we are all doing: trusting our instinct and doing the best for our little munchkins.

N0help4u

Like needkarma said follow your instincts you know your kid better than anybody. If she is just behind a little you might try and spend the summer teaching her to catch her up or ask an older kid if they would mind.
At first and second grade age they might catch up soon enough, but by 4th or 5th grade I would hold them back if they were still behind. When I asked the grade school why they don't hold kids back any more they said basically what you are saying. That it holds them back more because of the embarrassment for the most part and in time it clicks and they catch up. I asked them wouldn't it be more embarrassing to be pushed through and it hasn't clicked and they have to deal with not being able to catch up on basics and they fall further behind.

N0help4u

I remembered the program I was talking about
You ask to have him take a placement (standardized) testing
Then they give him an IEP structured specifically for him.
In the third grade my son was on the 10th grade reading and history level but he was behind in some other classes and the IEP helped him a lot.

Archived: Guide to the Individualized Education Program

Hope this helps

1stTeacher

Hello. I am just a concerned teacher. I wanted to know a parents point of view . So I looked around the internet for those points of view

It is my opinion to retain in the first grade. It is the only grade that retention works, in my opinion.

If she is immature, maturity will only come with time. I tell my parents, please give your child the gift of time!

Even if your child is able to perform on or about level right now, if she does not get the gift of time how will she be able to perform the higher order thinking skills that children 10 months older than her will be expected to do in fourth and up.

I have seen it hundreds of times. Children with F's one year, then they repeat the first grade and they are on the top of their game!!!

I have also seen parents sulk down the hallway one year because they know their own child is behind. Then the next year they are floating down the hallways because their child is on the honor roll.

NowWhat

Thank you for your input. And you are right.
My daughter struggled last year. I guess more than we knew.
This year, according to her teacher, she is at the top of her class. So, for us, the best thing we did for our daughter was to hold her back. It has made a world of difference and we look forward to 2nd grade.

rnfowl

the magic number for graduating is age 18 we were told by teachers. We held our son back in Kindergarten due to the exact same reason. His birthday is Oct 31 and he was not mature enough to go on, yet he was very bright. He is actually my step-son and we all finally agreed to hold him back. He is now 16 with straight A's and doing very very well. Had we let him go on I think he would have struggled. He is where he should be. Also, if you are going to do it do it now because once she makes friends in the upper grades it will be very hard for both you and her to adjust then. Also, I work in a school and I now see first hand what kids struggle and what ones don't. It is usually the ones that scrape by with their birthdays...