We are thinking about holding our 1st grader back a year in school. He is the youngest and smallest in his class. He has struggled with his reading skills since kindergarten. He is not at the maturity level of the other kids. He has a reading tutor and his kindergarten teacher tutors him twice a week after school. My question is if we decide to hold him back is it better to switch schools and get a new start, or keep him there and let him see his fellow classmates years from now always ahead of him? Will he get teased? Will he be known as the dumb kid? Or is it me as a parent just feeling like I will be judged. We like the school and have another one signed up for k4 there next year.

NowWhat

If he was in say, 5th grade and you decided to hold him back, then maybe you could consider changing schools. But at this age, I wouldn't worry about that at all.

I went through this with my daughter last year. She was the youngest in her class and struggled with reading. Her math skills were great as were her other studies. BUT, her maturity level wasn't what it should be and she was just struggling.

We held her back, got her the same teacher and this year (I am proud to say) she is at the top of her class.
She knows she was held back, as were 3 others in her class, we took total responsibilty for why she was held back. We told her that WE decided to start her to soon, etc. Don't look at this as a bad thing. If you look at it in a negative way, your son will pick up on that and think the same thing.
Her teacher told us that our daughter has her academic footing now and she thinks she will continue to be a "star" student from now on.

And, as for the other kids, they don't even realize it.

oneguyinohio

My son went through something similar, and was very happy to have the extra year. He did not like being the youngest. He has really grown positively and become a leader as a result. Those other kids may not even remember much about who was in what grade as they get older. Talk to your son about having a chance to be one of the older kids. If he gets along with the teacher that is a large part of the equation.

I too wasn't sure about keeping my son in the same grade... He didn't fail, but it was a choice we as parents made to allow him time for maturity, and to be in a group that was more age appropriate for him. That can have tremendous benefits later on academically and socially.

Sarah48375

I'm a parent now, and I have two sides to this. I switched schools when I got held back in first grade. I didn't make any difference. When the kids at my new school found out (older brothers told) i was held back, I got teased.

My best friends daughter on the other hand stayed back and stayed in the same school, and she never mentioned and problems. She is very well liked. She also caught up very well.

shellywright

I am being faced with this same decision. Although the research shows that it can have a short term benefit, it's not in their best interest long term.
Early-grade retention--are benefits real or imagined? My girlfriend who is a principal, sent me this most recent study done on the subject. Remember that there is a higher percentage of kids being held back and the drop out rate has increased. HUM?

I'm still on the fence. My child is very sensitive, so no matter what I tell her, she's going to feel like she did something wrong not to move up with the other kids. Since we all mature at different times, how much should they hold a child back so that they are "average". I'd really like to know who these "average" kids are. I don't know any personally.