Hi my name is Sarah, and I'm new to the site.

My daughter is 6. She has always been ahead. When she started first grade things changed. The city I live in redistricted, and Alyssa got switched into a new school.
She became distracted, behind, angry, and her confidence dropped. She hates school. She tells me that she wants to be sick, so she can stay home. She cries at school because she misses me. She has tummy aches a lot.

She loved Kindergarten. She liked writing, but now she's behind in writing. We work on it at home, but she doesn't want me to help her sound out words. She could spell many of these word in Kindergarten, but now has forgotten how to spell them in first grade. Alyssa is reading at a second grade level, but we constantly struggle and work on math.

I volunteer in the classroom on Mondays, but the parents actually have to sit in the hallway. When I peek in the room, Alyssa seems to be paying attention. However, her teacher sent home a note that said Alyssa was oblivious to what goes on around her. Which shocked and infuriated me.

I've had meeting with the school, teacher, but nothing changes. Her teacher had the nerve to tell me that Alyssa must have had one hell of a summer vacation. I have no idea what to do from here.

I've put Alyssa on the list to go back to her old school. We have school of choice. I just don't know what to do for the rest of this year.

NowWhat

I would continue to talk to the school. If you feel your child is harrassed or bullied by this boy - the school needs to take action. If they are reluctant - stay on them.

I would have your daughter meet with the school counselor. It is a resource that I think many forget about (I did). Use it. It is available to you and your daughter. You should just be able to contact the school and ask that your child meet with the counselor. You should also be able to speak to the counselor and let him/her know what your concerns are and see if they can help. Also, since we are getting to the end of the year - talk to the principal about making sure these two do not have the same class next year - you don't want a repeat.

You can send a note in addressed to the boy's parents. Seal the envelope and ask that it go home with the child. It shouldn't be a problem. My daughter gets things all the time - like invitations, so why would this be any different.

Your daughter is young for first grade - has the teacher talked to you about her academic maturity? Is holding her back a possibility? Would you even be interested? Do you think she would benefit from it?
I also have experience with this - I can tell you my story if it is something you are interested in. Holding your child back is a hard choice and it may or may not be an option for your daughter. Just thought I would put it out there.

Social issues really can affect their school lives. Before my daughter and this other girl clashed - school was great, she loved it. She is at the top of her class. Then one day the other girl got mad and threatened to stab my daughter with her scissors. We stepped in real quick.
We told my daughter that she is NOT to associate with this kid. But it is hard because they are in the same class, eat together, have recess together, same bus, even go to the same after school care. It got really difficult for my child because this other kids is great at manipulation and my daughter ended up being the one playing alone in the corner.
We had to go to a plan B - because she was so out of sorts over it all.
Luckily we have a teacher that works with us and it is getting better.
But I know what it is like having a child come home and say she hates school, has no friends, hates her life, etc. She is 7 - why does she have to deal with this? Everything should be wonderful in life, right?
One child has hindered my daughter's education. We have had to act fast - but tread lightly. How do you keep a child away from yours when you aren't around to police it? They won't let you sit in class with your kid. It is a difficult balance.

Just continue to communicate with the school. Don't let them brush you off.

macgould10

I'm actually an elementary school teacher that has taught first grade in the past. I may be able to give you some insight on some of the information that you've been receiving from the teacher and school.

The first thing, about this boy "Michael"... A teacher stating that the boy has "issues" is her way of saying is that she's well aware of the problem. Your child probably isn't the only one who has had problems with him in the past. I can almost guarantee you that other children have complained to their parents about his behavior in and outside of the classroom, and have in turn complained to the teacher. Teachers are very limited at what to do with unruly children in the classroom. You can move their seat, seperate them from others, and make phone calls home but that's about it. If a child has ongoing behavior problems, adminstration is really suppose to step in (that includes the school counselor). The school counselor is really the one you want to keep on top of. It's her job to make sure that kids feel safe and accepted in school.

Your teacher/the school would be crossing the line by giving out Michael's phone number to you. I wouldn't suggest putting the note in Michael's bookbag either. Like I said before, I can almost guarantee you that the teacher has been in touch with Michael's parents. Hopefully his parents are involved enough to be working with the school on his behavior. Michael's parents may not appreciate your attempt to establish communication with them. They may take it as an attack on their child, and get immediately defensive (believe me, I've seen it before).

Now onto another topic... reading inbetween the lines on your original post, it seems as though you are not happy with your daughters teacher. You were "infuriated" when the teacher claimed your child was oblivious during class, and how the teacher said something to effect of your daughter having "one hell of a summer vacation". That tells me you don't really care for her teacher. How you expressed your dislike of your daughter's teacher while your daughter was in earshot? If so, your child might be playing the part a little. Children like to make their parents happy, and if a child knows that their mommy doesn't like the teacher, they may feel obligated to not like their teacher as well. This can cause both their academic performance and their attention to suffer. It also sounds like your daughter stays pretty busy. Did you continue to have her read, write and work on her math over the summer? Parents often don't realize how much their children lose over the summer. The reading, writing, and math skills that your daughter acquired in kindergarten were all new skills. The saying "use it or lose it" is correct when made in reference to elementary school students. I have seen children regress greatly over the summer when little time is spent on academics. This regression can lead to academic problems throughout the school year.
Switching schools can also cause academic problems in children. Unfortunately different schools have different expectations as what is seen as acceptable. A child that is seen as doing great can go to another school and be viewed as behind because the new school has higher expectations of their children. I work at a school whose expectations of children are higher than most of the schools in the area. Children that come new to my school often suffer from a learning curve, and are often seen as behind. Fortunately though, the majority of them begin to meet our expectations after a few months of being at our school.

There is no simple answer as to what's wrong with your daughter (being an outsider looking in). It could be Michael, the teacher, the school, the curriculum, your daughter, or her hell of a summer (calm down, its a joke). It might be a little of all of these things. What you can do is to continue to let your daughter know that you love her, you support her, and that together you will make it through the year. Remember, what doesn't kill her will only make her stronger. I wish you and your daughter the best of luck. : )

Sarah48375

Actually, Alyssa wrote and read a lot over the summer. I think the difference is that Alyssa's Kindergarten teacher didn't focus on spelling in writing. She mainly focused on the getting their ideas out. Alyssa's main trouble is the vowel sounds... this year she seems to mix them up. However, if I make her sound them out and help her break it down, she does fine.

Math was never pushed in kindergarten. I didn't even know what to work on in that area. However, we are work on math fact, and she has a great memory. That's why she is so great at reading.

I wish teachers would be more specific about what needs to be done at home. All Alyssa gets sent home is a math page.

I have never talked about Alyssa's teacher in front of her. She likes her teacher and thinks she likes her. She thinks it's boring. I have had to sit her down a few times and talk to her about it.

I suppose I don't like her teacher. She is so negative all the time.

NowWhat

As I have said, my daughter is in 1st grade. Her homework consists of 2 math pages, study her spelling words for the week and read the story of the week.
All that is actually sent home are the math pages.

For summer time, I would recommend getting a "getting ready for 2nd grade" workbook. We have gotten these and they are great. A page or 2 a day really helps them from forgetting what they learned.