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my 5 yr old son was paddled by the principal I have several problems about this and would like any help or suggestions.
1.) I signed the form to allow him to be paddled but i wrote in very noticeable informing them that before he was to be paddled they must first call and tell me what he is being paddled for. I live 2 miles from the school.
2.) my son received a paddling by the principal which left a very red and raised mark on him 5 hours later. I do have pictures. the principal paddled him at nap time (after lunch). He got around to calling me to inform me he was paddled at 4:00 pm.
3.) he was paddled on tuesday by the teacher for hitting a child and used the restroom on the wall. i went talked to the teacher on wednesday and also sent a note telling her he was not to be paddled again. i made it very clear I expected to be called before hand.
4.) the principal had the teacher walk him over to the office on friday and he was paddled again. this is when he left the marks. this is the best part the teacher never told him she already paddled him nor did she stop it. So the principal left marks on my 5 yr old child by accident. it took him 3 days to get around to handling it and he was 4 hours late on calling to get permission since they were told not to at all.
Corporal punishment in schools was also outlawed many years ago. I don't know if this is just in New York, where I'm from, or just in public schools.
This must be in New York, and the northern states. I grew up in Michigan and Ohio and it was not allowed. But now that I am in Tennessee, it is common practice here. I actually have to sign a paper at the beginning of each school year if I DON'T want my children paddled.
You see, I teeter and I totter about spanking. I believe there is a need for it if the circumstance calls for it, i.e. a dangerous situation (running out in traffic, playing with matches or a lighter), but not for basic general discipline. There are better ways to discipline a child, under normal circumstances, than spanking.
While I think it wrong for anyone other than a parent to discipline a child in this way (meaning anything other than verbally telling a child "no") I do not see an issue with spanking in general. Spanking is spanking , plain and simple. You dont do it to harm the child but to teach them. I was spanked and I am a good law abiding positive citizen. There IS a difference between child abuse and spanking. spanking ddoes not require whelps, bruises, or smacking across a room..I will pop my son on the thigh or hand if he disobeys me after an initial warning. Now is not the time for me to be my son's friend, it is the time for me to lead him in a good direction and teach him right from wrong. While Im not a person to tell another person that they are not being a good parent, I do have issues with people who do no type of discipline. Every child is different, no parent can tell another parent that they are dealing with their child incorrectly. I know my child, and i know that some of the current methods of discipline would never work appropriately on my son. I continuously get comments on the good behaviour of my child. I rarely need to spank him, and I think this is because it has happened in the past and helped him to see that I dont mess around when i tell him no to something. I dont play games and he knows that...You can call me a bad parent for this if you wish, but compared to some other children and young adults I have seen in the world who were raised in the current methods, I think my way is better...but i will never push that way on anyone else, and would expect the same from others.
As for the OP, I think you seem to be on the right track. I would be absolutely irrate with this school and the principal regardless of the paper I signed. There is a line that was crossed here. good luck to you and your family.
A child needs to be paddled at times, and parents who act like this do the worst thing they can for the child, let the teaches and principal paddle a child who needs it, and stop trying to raise a child from the new age books on kids.
Have you actually raised children? I mean actively?
Yep 5 of them, always had a rule if they got paddled in school they got another one when they got home. Four of them are in thier 30's and all in the plumbing business. In the south and rual areas a good spanking is the best think you can do for a child when they are very bad. It is actually child abuse not to, since you are not teaching a child right from wrong very well, esp with children going wild like they do now adays.
Schools should all go back to it, lucky the schools here still do.
With all the whack jobs out there - you would trust a virtual stranger to have the "power" to hit your kid? Why would you say it is okay for someone you barely know to hit your child? I just can't get past that. I was spanked in kindergarten (in Georgia, I was 5) for stepping in a mud puddle. Was that appropriate? Or did I just piss of the teacher?
Like I have said before, I am from the south, my entire family lives down there currently - your views are not shared by most southerners that I know.
My sister, who has to girls, would have someones head on a platter if they paddled her kids at school. My brothers, with their kids would be the exact same way.
Boy, I'm glad we live where we do. My kids are great. They listen to us and when they don't they get time out and such. They feel bad when they overstep their boundaries and get punished because they enjoy our love and happiness and want that. They aren't cowering in fear which seems to be the american way in the household and the governing political way. (How does a Catholic minister have 5 kids???)
Okay, NK, I don't know if it is an "american" thing.
I choose other forms of punishment with my daughter. (that is not to say she has never been spanked) She is respectful, knows and uses her manners. There is the OLD saying "spare the rod, spoil the child". I don't think that is true.
My kid does not live in fear of me or my husband. I would not want her or anyone to live that way.
I believe that, at school, discipline should not be physical. My daughters teachers KNOW what we expect out of her and they KNOW that if there is a problem, they can come to us and talk openly with out us getting all defensive. It is truly a partnership.
They don't have to paddle to get a point across.
fr. I was raised in the dear old south and our teachers beat the hell out of us...maybe sometimes I deserved it. The one that hurt my feelings the most was when I was in first grade. When I was in eight grade I saw a teacher jerk a boy up out of his seat and smack the hell outta him with a leather strap...he cared less where he hit him just as long as he hit him. I have 3 kids in school that have never been touched by a teacher and had better never be touched by one or their mother would be in jail...I think the teachers in my childrens school know this. I know for a fact that a lot of teachers abuse their power.
Do you live in a state where corporal punishment in schools is legal and/or does your child attend a private school? I can't quite understand your post regarding how many times your child was paddled and why. You mention something about your child hitting another student. I will say this, that bullying behavior in schools is not taken lightly these days and will be dealt with quite harshly under any circumstances. I do agree that you should have been notified first, especially since you stipulated that directive. At this point I'd rescind the agreement you signed and, as an alternative, stipulate that you are to be notified whenever your child misbehaves. If you are able to go to the school on a moment's notice, then do so whenever you're called. If not, then you need to stipulate some other type of disciplinary consequence to be imposed, such as a timeout period and loss of privilege (such as staying in at recess.) While I agree that a child should never be punished to the point of injury, I also believe that the parents have a responsibility to work with the school in matters of discipline and this is one instance where the parents and the school need to get together.
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