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Home > Education > Elementary School   »   Corproal punishment for 5 YR OLD

 
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Old Nov 5, 2007, 04:49 AM
CHERIE_LABAT
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Corproal punishment for 5 YR OLD

my 5 yr old son was paddled by the principal I have several problems about this and would like any help or suggestions.
1.) I signed the form to allow him to be paddled but i wrote in very noticeable informing them that before he was to be paddled they must first call and tell me what he is being paddled for. I live 2 miles from the school.

2.) my son received a paddling by the principal which left a very red and raised mark on him 5 hours later. I do have pictures. the principal paddled him at nap time (after lunch). He got around to calling me to inform me he was paddled at 4:00 pm.

3.) he was paddled on tuesday by the teacher for hitting a child and used the restroom on the wall. i went talked to the teacher on wednesday and also sent a note telling her he was not to be paddled again. i made it very clear I expected to be called before hand.

4.) the principal had the teacher walk him over to the office on friday and he was paddled again. this is when he left the marks. this is the best part the teacher never told him she already paddled him nor did she stop it. So the principal left marks on my 5 yr old child by accident. it took him 3 days to get around to handling it and he was 4 hours late on calling to get permission since they were told not to at all.

what should i do and how should i handle this?

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Old Nov 18, 2007, 07:19 AM   #31  
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I'm shocked! I thought the OP was in some ELDC* not the USA! You learn something new every day. In the UK parents aren't allowed to smack children (although I think this is the nanny state going too far) and corporal punishment in schools was resigned to the seventies.

I remember getting told off at school for things that weren't my fault/ the teacher was having a bad day. I cringe to think what could have happened if they were allowed to hit me!

If I had children I wouldn't let anyone hit them. I wouldn't let anyone else hit my dog!

*Economically Less Developed Country

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excon agrees: makes sense to me
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Old Nov 18, 2007, 07:26 AM   #32  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
Normally it is societies issues, since from what I have seen those with liberal parents who do not paddle in a larger percent have worst manners and lack more self control. But how you deal with your children at home is your business, how the school deals with them should be the schools, and parents need to butt out and let the schools back to doing thier jobs.
A big part of the problem is that the parents don't do their jobs, so the schools are forced to do it for them. Worse yet, a lot of parents believe that the schools are solely responsible for disciplining and educating the children. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The fact is, both institutions, family and school, share the responsibility for educating children. There needs to be cooperation, not competition, between the two. A lot of parents don't want the schools butting into what they consider to be their business, where disciplining of the children is considered, but then they don't take it upon themselves to do it either. As a result, the child is unable to function effectively in school and disrupts his/her own education as well as that of his classmates. Now I'm not suggesting that the OP is guilty of this but a lot of people in our society don't understand that. The prevailing attitudes within our modern culture have served to sabotage our schools and render them largely ineffective. Instead of turning out upstanding, productive citizens with a sense of responsibility we're instead producing a generation of self-centered people with an entitlement attitude and absolutely no personal responsibility whatsoever. Admittedly, there's a lot more to it than the issue of whether or not students should be paddled in schools. But there is a danger in rationalizing everything and not wanting to hold young people accountable for their actions.
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Old Nov 18, 2007, 07:33 AM   #33  
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There are kids in our school that you can see that parents have lost control. And you think to yourself that proper discipline would handle that.
It always amazes me that parents don't get involved. I don't get it. I am completely opposite. I am almost sure that my daughter's teacher is sick of getting notes from me. I let her know when my daughter woke up on the wrong side of the bed just so she knows what she is dealing with.
We participate in every way we can.
So it baffles me when parents don't get involved.

But....I still would NEVER allow her teacher to get a paddle out. As much as I trust her, physically punishing her is not an option.
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Old Nov 18, 2007, 07:58 AM   #34  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
In the south and rual areas a good spanking is the best think you can do for a child when they are very bad. It is actually child abuse not to,
Wait a minute Chuck, I live in rural Tennessee too, so don't tell me that it is child abuse NOT to spank your child. Show me where in the Department of Child and Family Services it states that it is child abuse not to spank your child. This is utter nonsense.

Spanking is not the best thing you can do when they are bad. Again, it depends on the age. As I stated earlier, when they are very young a little pop on the tushie or a little pop on the hand is okay, but when they are of an age to understand right from wrong, spanking is degrading. There are so many other forms of discipline that can be used that don't harm a child's psyche.

Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess discipline is in the hands of the one wielding the power. You can beat your child if you want, I will raise mine with respect.
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Old Nov 18, 2007, 08:14 AM   #35  
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I agree with many others here; the school should not be touching anyone's child. Parents should only spank under dire circumstances, and as J_9 said, only up to a certain age where reason can take over. I've seen kids who are afraid of their parents - it's false respect, and it's not pretty.

Interestingly, from the other side of things, I had a professor who's son was a senior in high school on 9/11. The school went into "lock down" and they wouldn't allow students to call their parents or go home. My professor's son stood up and walked out of class because he knew his parents would want him HOME. A teacher stepped in his way and put her hand on his chest, telling him to stop. He took her hand, removed it from his chest and said, "My parents would want me at home. I'm going home." and he walked past her. He was suspended for five days for assaulting the teacher.

Double standard? I think so.
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Old Nov 18, 2007, 08:27 AM   #36  
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I, of all people, am at a loss for words. I ride both sides.

As a child...when it was time for a bath my mom would tell me to strip and lean over the tub (I had always done something). But normally she was right, I had and knew it. I was a conniving little b***h Lets see, she used belts; brushes; wooden spoons...whatever was convenient and least likely to break in her hands. She didn't beat me, but I got a good whoopin.
In kindergarten, I started getting paddlings. Started out with a ruler to the hand and by eighth grade was getting "Big Bertha" to my a** for the whole school to hear me scream.
Now that I have a son (2.5yo with my temper and attitude) I don't know what to do. I try time out...he takes his time out chair and throws it across the room. You put him in his room, he literally almost breaks the door (yes they are hallow). So what does that leave? A good ole whoopin. I mean, I have never left a mark on him....but I feel like I have to put him in check every once in a while.
However, I would absolutely hurt someone if they ever put their hands on my baby. Heck, I get mad if my mom pops him on the heinie!

Anyhow, Cherie, sounds like you're doing good.
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Old Nov 18, 2007, 10:50 AM   #37  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
This is probably a Christian (independent Baptist?) school in the Bible Belt.
All schools down here paddle. Public and private. In most cases it is not the teacher that paddles, but the principal or vice principal. There must be a witness also, be it the teacher or another member of the staff, but there IS supposed to be a witness.

Again, I am the disciplinarian in my home, I am the one who teaches respect and deals with disrespect appropriately, and that does NOT mean spanking.

While we all raise our children in our own fashion, I personally do not believe in corporal punishment because I have seen it work opposite than the expected outcome.

I had an incident 2 years ago when my daughter, then 12 and in 6th grade, began her homework in math class a moment before the teacher told them to start. When I picked my daughter up that afternoon I learned that, because she did one problem of her homework prior to hearing the start bell, she was stood up with her nose in the corner for the remaining 35 minutes of class. I was OUTRAGED!!!! I turned that car around and went right into the principal's office and met with him. After interviewing the teacher and the other students, it seemed that this was a popular punishment for her. Suffice it to say she is no longer teaching at that school.
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Old Nov 18, 2007, 10:55 AM   #38  
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J_9, I grew up in NC back when Noah was still floating around in the ark, and remember paddling and ruler smacking etc. in public schools, but didn't realize paddling is still being done there.

Is this an accepted thing? I'm surprised parents haven't risen up in protest!
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Old Nov 18, 2007, 12:31 PM   #39  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Is this an accepted thing? I'm surprised parents haven't risen up in protest!
Yup it is still very accepted and actually EXPECTED by some parents. I, however, am not one of them. Maybe it is because I was raised in the North where it was not accepted. Some of my neighbors and friends think I am absolutely looney toons for not allowing my children to be paddled. The school's primary responsibility IMHO is education not discipline. My responsibility is discipline.
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Old Nov 18, 2007, 01:11 PM   #40  
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I was raised in the South and proud of that - but I would in no way allow anyone to put their hands/paddles on my child.
My sister and brothers all have kids and live in the South, I think they share my feelings.
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