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jj23 · Apr 4, 2009, 11:14 AM

Is there anyway possible I can be stopped from getting visitation to see my son? I just filed for it after the mother slammed the door into my mothers face wanting to see her grandson and refusing to let my son see any of his family. I have not been able to see him often due to the fact I work at a factory and pull 16 hr shifts 7 days a week... Will this hurt my chances of getting ANY visitation? The mother said she got a lawyer and is stopping me from visitation... Is this true and can she? If this helps I live in Indiana

Any information would be helpful... I can't afford a lawyer so any advice on what to do is helpful.

ScottGem · Apr 4, 2009, 11:19 AM

Unless she can prove you are a danger to the child, I don't see how she can stop visitation entirely. But YOUR visitation is not your mother's. If your mother wants her own visitation she will have to apply for it.

You can share visitation with her, by allowing her to be with while you have your visitation, but you can't pick up the child and drop him off with mom.

If the mother has gotten an attorney, you would be well served by making sure you have your own. If you go against an attorney by yourself, there is a good chance you could lose.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 4, 2009, 11:25 AM

Yes, you will have to file for visitation though the court, they will give you specific days and times. You will have to visit on those days.

jj23 · Apr 4, 2009, 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

yes, you will have to file for visitation though the court, they will give you specific days and times. You will have to visit on those days.

Well the only problem is she has overly and entirely harassed me that I have had to block 3 numbers... all it was was cursing and saying my son has a real daddy now... so I got tired of it... so my mom has been doing the picking up and dropping off part...

A lawyer told her she couldn't file for grandparent visitation because there is no law passed in Indiana... The mother of my child is immature and has told everyone she has gotten a lawyer and stopping me from filing for visitation... Im not sure what to do... I can't afford a lawyer and the ones my own mother have talked to said she can't file for gparent visitation either... I am sooo lost and stressed out over this

Any help? I live in Indiana

JudyKayTee · Apr 4, 2009, 12:47 PM

You don't need an Attorney - the Courts that handle these matters are very user friendly. If your choice is do nothing or file without an Attorney, then I guess you have to file without an Attorney.

It is, of course, better to be represented, but if you cannot, you cannot.

ScottGem · Apr 4, 2009, 02:08 PM

First, she can't stop you from filing for visitation. Second, IS there a visitation schedule in place?

As Judy said if it's a matter of getting an attorney or not fighting, then you still try and fight.

If there is a visitation schedule in place, but your job prevents you from making the pickups and dropoffs, then you file for a modification of the agreement. If there is no schedule in place, then you file for one that works with your work schedule.

You CAN petition the court to allow someone else to do the pickups and dropoffs as long as you can show that you will be spending the majority of the visitation time with your son.

If you can prove the harassment the court is more likely to side with you.

I attorneys are telling you that your mom can't get visitation I would believe them. But that doesn't mean the court won't allow them to do pickups and/or dropoffs.

stevetcg · Apr 4, 2009, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by jj23

Well the only problem is she has overly and entirely harassed me that i have had to block 3 numbers........all it was was cursing and saying my son has a real daddy now.......so i got tired of it........so my mom has been doing the picking up and dropping off part....

A lawyer told her she couldnt file for grandparent visitation because there is no law passed in Indiana........The mother of my child is immature and has told everyone she has gotten a lawyer and stopping me from filing for visitation.........Im not sure what to do.......I can't afford a lawyer and the ones my own mother have talked to said she can't file for gparent visitation either........I am sooo lost and stressed out over this

Any help? I live in Indiana

Indiana DOES have grandparent visitation laws. I am pretty sure that lawyer is wrong.

Indiana Grandparents Visitation Law Law Summary and Law Digest

And your ex's lawyer cannot stop you from filing for visitation. The best he could do is stall it.

Has paternity ever been legally established? That can stall visitation.

ScottGem · Apr 4, 2009, 02:34 PM

Steve has given you a great link to help. But I still wouldn't use it yet. I'd like to know the specific circumstances of how the child was born and whether paternity, support and visitation orders have been established.

I think you are better off asking for your own visitation with a different person doing pickups and dropoffs then trying to get grandparent visistation.

jj23 · Apr 4, 2009, 03:05 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Steve has given you a great link to help. But I still wouldn't use it yet. I'd like to know the specific circumstances of how the child was born and whether paternity, support and visitation orders have been established.

I think you are better off asking for your own visitation with a different person doing pickups and dropoffs then trying to get grandparent visistation.

He was born out of wedlock... My name is on the B.C... I pay child support each week and am completely caught up... havent missed a day

jj23 · Apr 4, 2009, 03:06 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Steve has given you a great link to help. But I still wouldn't use it yet. I'd like to know the specific circumstances of how the child was born and whether paternity, support and visitation orders have been established.

I think you are better off asking for your own visitation with a different person doing pickups and dropoffs then trying to get grandparent visistation.

And about visitation... It was done without the court orders... she got pregnant had to get married and now wants my son to not see any of his real family anymore...

stevetcg · Apr 4, 2009, 03:10 PM

Originally Posted by jj23

And about visitation......It was done without the court orders.....she got pregnant had to get married and now wants my son to not see any of his real family anymore.......

Based on everything you said, I cannot forsee any reason why you would not get a suitable visitation schedule ordered.

To put it bluntly: who cares what your ex wants. You have rights and all the lawyers in the world cannot take that away from you.

ScottGem · Apr 4, 2009, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by jj23

He was born out of wedlock......My name is on the B.C..........I pay child support each week and am completely caught up......havent missed a day

Originally Posted by jj23

And about visitation......It was done without the court orders.....she got pregnant had to get married and now wants my son to not see any of his real family anymore.......

But you still haven't answered the $64K question. Is ANYTHING court ordered? You say you pay support, but was it ordered by a court? If there was a support hearing, why didn't you ask for custody/visitation at the time?

We need to know more about the history here.

And while I believe you have rights, if you are going up against an attorney you are starting with two strikes against you. We have seen many instances where the side with an attorney wins, even when the rights are all on the other side.

jj23 · Apr 4, 2009, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

But you still haven't answered the $64K question. Is ANYTHING court ordered? You say you pay support, but was it ordered by a court? If there was a support hearing, why didn't you ask for custody/visitation at the time?

We need to know more about the history here.

And while I believe you have rights, if you are going up against an attorney you are starting off with two strikes against you. We have seen many instances where the side with an attorney wins, even when the rights are all on the other side.

Yes the child support is court ordered... at the time I was in contact with the mother and visitation was between us outside of court... now after she got pregnant and got married after one month of meeting this guy that is 12 years older... she cussed and screamed to give up my rights so my son could be adopted and this is what I have been going through for almost a year now and just last month she has refused to let me or any of my family see him because she wants him adopted by her husband... I also had to work like I said before 16 hr days 7 days a week at a factory for the past 1 1/2 years... I could not see him besides on holidays... so I did not ask for visitation while in court last June and because it was worked out between us until the harassment... Now since my hrs have been cut and I have been on a layoff with a return date I can actually spend time with him...

ScottGem · Apr 4, 2009, 06:58 PM

She cussed and screamed to try and get you to give up your rights and you saw no reason to ask for a formal visitation schedule?

Sorry but that wasn't veryt smart.

But that's where you are at now. You NEED to formalize visistation ASAP.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 4, 2009, 08:21 PM

And so you need to take off a few hours at least once a month?? Do it for your chld