[sean_s]

No I do not look for "WORTH", I found myself, quite well, if not precisely-

I am looking for INSPIRATION.. It is something you need when you are trying to discover the general euler-poincaré relation in N dimensions

[Wondergirl]

Inspiration is found in the faces of all those around you who need your wisdom and expert guidance and smarts and common sense and even just your love and care.

[sean_s]

Inspiration is found in the faces of all those around you who need your wisdom and expert guidance and smarts and common sense and even just your love and care.

:D no one needs the general euler-poincaré relation in N dimensions lol. That is why I am exclusively looking forr someone, who can inspire me in those fields.

[sean_s]

As for people inspiring me, by requiring my love and care, I loved her, but she did not require it.

[Wondergirl]

But there are others who do.

[sean_s]

But there are others who do.

Really? Do you know some who would be interested to talk about EulerPoincaré relation in 6 dimensions? :D :D

[Wondergirl]

As a potential girlfriend or just for fun? (Be sure to say Guten Tag to all my relatives in Hannover.)

[mmresd]

Harsh Warning

You need to grow some balls.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

So you are breaking up, that is OK, we all go through it, whether she lied to you or she is lying to you about anything is irrelevant.

A break up is a break up, if you are feeling stressed, suicidal, depressed, sad, can't sleep, and even nauseous, it is OK... everyone has these feelings to a certain extent right after a break up.

Just breath, relax, start building your life again, and I would really recommend to go to some co-dependancy group, it seems like you are not happy on by yourself. How can you expect to keep someone else happy if you are so miserable alone.

Get ahold of yourself, everyone goes though this, and everyone get through it. Thank GOD this wasn't a relationship that was more envolved, especially if you are dying over an online relationship.

It WILL be better, remain idle, don't do anything dumb, and remember to always keep your head up and look forward. Keep reading this forum, see ALL of the potential problems that people may have, go running, go swimming, do something to take your energy out on. With time, things will get better, I PROMISE.

If you have difficulty getting over this in over 6 months, go get some professional help, sometimes they can open our eyes and show us that things aren't really that bad and offer us techniques as to how to cope with such a tramautizing experiences that break ups are.

I wish you the best of luck, and answer some questions here with your own opinions, it will help you.

[sean_s]

As a potential girlfriend or just for fun? (Be sure to say Guten Tag to all my relatives in Hannover.)

A longterm girlfriend in the region of Hannover :) and I am really surprised that you did not spell Hannover in the english way :)

[Wondergirl]

Tell me what's wonderful about you. You mentioned you're a geologist. Can you tell me about loess?(Btw, I'm old enough to be your mutter.)

[sean_s]

Tell me what's wonderful about you. You mentioned you're a geologist. Can you tell me about loess?(Btw, I'm old enough to be your mutter.)

First of all, I am a boy who fantasizes mature ladies.

Anyway, Loess. It is wind blown. That is what characterizes it. It generally gets dumped in a windshadow behind a mountain, where wind slowes down. And that is why, probably, it is homogeneous (honestly, the wind clarification does not satisfy me of it being homogeneous, I don't know how things get mixed in wind). The homogeneity scale is in the order of several 10-s of kilometers, but I never see a loess drill core, so don't know how it looks like in the depth. (but thanks for asking, I will simulate loess transport tonight)

In the loess you see stuff like plain meineral grains, the grains that are fine enough to be carried by wind are so small, that they are mostly composed with a single mineral.

Now about origin, the professor said, in a dry enough region, wind generates it's own aerosols, from the bare surface. On the surface, you always have grains breaking loose from the mother. But honestly, I did not look into the exact mechanism, so I don't know the scale of energy required for that.

[sean_s]

Tell me what's wonderful about you

There is nothing "wonderful". I am a scientist. I know there are certain things, which I can do much better than others. I stick to my beliefs. And I am zuverlässig [reliable -ed.] by the literal meaning of the word.

I am weird enough to attempt to redefine certain concepts in topology, and break the paradigm of higher resolution in computational geophysics.

But I have shortcomings too. There are certain things that I do not like, such as lies and idiocy.

And I want am trying to find someone, who will inspire me to walk the hard route I am walking...

[sean_s]

Harsh Warning

You need to grow some balls.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

So you are breaking up, that is OK, we all go through it, whether or not she lied to you or she is lying to you about anything is irrelevant.

A break up is a break up, if you are feeling stressed, suicidal, depressed, sad, can't sleep, and even nauseous, it is OK... everyone has these feelings to a certain extent right after a break up.

Just breath, relax, start building your life again, and I would really recommend to go to some co-dependancy group, it seems like you are not happy on by yourself. How can you expect to keep someone else happy if you are so miserable alone.

Get ahold of yourself, everyone goes though this, and everyone get through it. Thank GOD this wasn't a relationship that was more envolved, especially if you are dying over an online relationship.

It WILL be better, remain idle, don't do anything dumb, and remember to always keep your head up and look forward. Keep reading this forum, see ALL of the potential problems that people may have, go running, go swimming, do something to take your energy out on. With time, things will get better, I PROMISE.

If you have difficulty getting over this in over 6 months, go get some professional help, sometimes they can open our eyes and show us that things aren't really that bad and offer us techniques as to how to cope with such a tramautizing experiences that break ups are.

I wish you the best of luck, and answer some questions here with your own opinions, it will help you.

It is not that irrelevant. I would like to make myself a better lover, to whom one does not need to lie. That is why I am bugged. In fact a better person, who does not have to be lied.

This is not my first breakup. I compromised my exams for a woman, but I did not care when she broke up mch. In fact, I did not ever care with any breakup .

AND what do you think I am doing. I am postponing my death for 8 days → does that not automatically mean I am trying to do something already that takes my "energy out" : the question was to convince me to do that at all. The problem is I can not convince myself for anything, since the lies hurt me to such a point where I doubt my own definition of myself.

I am not posting the question to remain IDLE. I am posting the question to find a meaning of things I am doing...



Thanks for your time anyway

[talaniman]

One more day to go! Has the dust settled and sanity, and reason returned?

[sean_s]

One more day to go! Has the dust settled and sanity, and reason returned?

No, I started hallucinating, but the work is getting done. It would be done, I knoe it. I am zuverlässig [reliable -ed.]. If I am on a track it is hard to take me out of it..

But I am in DEEP pain

[Alty]

i dont want a revenge on her, she is not worth it, i just want to

I came late to this thread, read all your posts, and pinpointed on this particular one. It says a lot to me that you want to kill yourself over a woman that you yourself said "is not worth" seeking revenge on. If she's not worth it, then what's the problem?

Sean, we've all loved and lost. There's not a person on the face of this earth that hasn't had their heart broken at least once in their life.

You seem to be a smart man. So use that intelligence. You know that this girl isn't worth crying over. So stop crying, and work through this. You've been in tougher situations than this, and you will find love. You just have to stop looking so hard for it.

This too shall pass. After all, alles hat ein ende, nur die Wurst hat zwei.

[talaniman]

You are reliable to others but not self reliant? That's not your history, nor your MO when confronted with obstacles. So which version of yourself will emerge in this tome of emotional need?

The reliable one, or the one in deep pain? Which is the stronger?

[kytcd6]

So there is the woman, whom I loved with my every thing.

It was an LDR, I did not want to go into it, she convinced me to come into it. She countered all my arguments with assurance that it would work. Before her, I was in an abusive relationship, so I was reluctant to take another relationship at all, as I thought I will not survive another breakup. However, she continued to support me, and convince me it would work.

I fell again in love. I gave her my everything. She has a Muskogee Indian heritage, and I started to learn the language for her (I speak German and English). I loved her with all my honesty. She kept on telling me I am her soul mate and so on. I told her again to leave me if this was a game, as I would not be able to handle another breakup.

Now since the last week, she is not talking to me, not picking up my calls, and so on. I am spending nights without sleep, hoping she will finally get time to talk with me. She is in USA, I am in Germany, and hence we have a time difference.

Now she sends me a message in FB, telling me she wants to end the relationship. She uses the same arguments (such as this is an internet relationship), which she herself countered. This falsifies her previous counterarguments. Hence the whole time it has been a lie.

However, I have a deadline in 8 days (not negotiable). And I am feeling like killing myself. I am not able to take this breakup. I am sorry. But on the other hand, my brain says I should leave to fulfill the deadline at least. Please help, I am a 22 year old man, atheist, ready to take the world face on (I took a number of troubles face on, I was homeless, at some point of time, I was about to be kicked out of the uni, from there I went to work in the German airspace center, and graduated without taking any extra semester, and with 20 extra course credit - 200 instead of 180 that is), don't know what to think, sitting alone in the staircase, crying uncontrollably, and attempting to commit suicide. The reward of my honesty to the woman is my tears.

There must have been a gap in my honesty. If my honesty is lacking, what is the point of living?

I just want to live till 11th of April and do the assigned work. But I can't convince myself to do so. Please help.

I don't need condolences, I don't need clichés. I need serious advices. I just need to finish my work, for which I have 8 days. Help me to live for these 8 days.


I don't care if she is worth it or not.
I care:
1. The reward are my tears, there must have been a gap in my honesty
2. She lied all the way, she used the same arguments that I used to avoid getting into it in the first place, must be something wrong in me
3. She again lied. She said that she "found new realizations, after having a discussion with someone" - why can't just she say she found a new man.
4. 8 days of life would suffice. Just help me with that.

"" my brain says I should leave to fulfill the deadline at least ""

Im 48 / dad of three daughters whos mother did the same thing to me and our daughters for ""OVER 16 years" togather... >>>Im now a single dad & Im seeing other women and going out w/ them for dinner,movies, etc... YOU should leave to fulfill your life w/ someone who will love you-for-you, not lie to you or anything that would make you feel doing yourself IN... ( SHE'S ) NOT THE ONLY WOMEN OUT THERE!!

GOD made this world and Like this fish in the sea >>> there's more then just one women out there...

kytcd6
USA...

[sean_s]

s. After all, alles hat ein ende, nur die Wurst hat zwei.

Hi Alty

Ja das stimmt. (That is correct.)

Ich bin aber nicht ganz der Meinung, wie du daoben sagst. ( I am not exactly agreeing with what you said above.)

Genommen sei, R: ist Wert. ( Let us say, R: is a relation, indication being worth of. )
Also, ( so)

Die Frau R Meine Rache : unwahr, nach meiner Meinung (the Lady R my revenge : untrue, from my statement)
Die Frau R Meine Tränen : unwahr, nach deiner Ableitung (the Lady R my tears : true, from your statement)
das kann nur wahr sein, wenn : (that can only hold, when)

entweder Meine Rache R Meine Tränen, V R kommutativ (either, My revenge R my tears, V R commutative)
oder Meine Rache : Meine Tränen (or my tears = my revenge)

aber das ist vielleicht nicht wahr, (that is probably not true)
also Reductio ad Absurdum (hence reductio ad absurdum)

hehehehehe


Hier ist jetzt 0209, ich bin immernoch in Arbeit. Die Assignment muss in 42 Stunde abgegeben werden. Aber ich glaube dass ich das schon schaffen werde.. Es geht mir damit okey.

(Here is 0209, I am still working, Assignment due in 42 hours but I think I will make it, It is fine)

Was mir eigentlich Weh tut ist die komische Einsamkeit. Ich habe gerade ein paar Aufgaben behebt - das fühlt sich gut an. Ich will diese gefühl mit jemandem teilen - aber kann ich nicht. Wie ich weiter oben erwähnt habe, es interessiert niemanden, was der F.Vektor in 8-Dimension sein mag.

(what hurts me is the loneliness, I just solved a few problems, feels good. I would like to share it with someone close to me, and thus get inspired, but as I further above mentioned, no one is interested in this stuff )

Die Frau hat zwar den Satz eingeworfen, dass sie sich über den F-Vektorn interessieren könnte.
(the lady argumented with the statement, that she could interest herslef with those F Vectors)

Zweitens, ich fühle mich zwecklos. Ich habe mir mit ihr sehr "wohl" gefühlt. Das zweck meines lebens war die Harmonie zwischen uns zu beschützen, und zu der Inspiration, welche sie mir bietete, Wert zu sein. Jetzt fühle ich mich, ohne ihr, zwecklos.

(secondly, I feel pointless. I feeled complete with her, The point of my life was to protect our harmony, and to be worth of the inspiration which she was about to offer.. But now, I feel pointless.)

[sean_s]

You are reliable to others but not self reliant? Thats not your history, nor your MO when confronted with obstacles. So which version of yourself will emerge in this tome of emotional need?

The reliable one, or the one in deep pain? Which is the stronger?

Exactly, I faced a HARD system breakdown. I always told myself I will make better next time. But with my "love", I can not really say that... I am 22. I had more breakup than my age. My first breakup hurt me, my second last breakup hurt me, but I managed to wipe that out in 48 hours, without any support from anyone.

This time, I am really having an unrecoverable system error