We have been married for 15 years with two kids (12 & 9). I have a good job and she has her own business. We both make good money (she makes more). There have been lot of ups and downs in our relationship but we always made up and forgave. Not this time. She said she has no feeling for me anymore and divorce is best for everyone. I want to work things out. I have suggested marriage counseling but she said no.
Here is the series of events that lead to her decisions:
1. My parents lived with us. My wife and my mom fought once last year and made up
2. Her Niece (22yrs old) moved in the house two months ago. My parents moved out without saying any reasons.
3. Her father came for a visit and we were out (she stayed home) to see a movie. When We came home she was pissed off because the house is a mess.
4. Next morning her father told me I should clean the house since she works six days a week.
5. I got mad because there are two women in the house and I am expected to all the house work. I made everyone (include me) to clean the house on Sunday.
I work too, I take care of the kids, help them with homework...
6. I had a talk with her Father and I told her father if it were not for the Kids I would have walked out of this house long time ago. He then told her and she got pissed off and wanted divorce.
I have apologized and done lots of things to make up but nothing works. She said she needed some time to think about divorce or not.
What do you think I should do? I do not want divorce.

s_cianci

Obviously there are many issues brewing in this marriage besides the specifics you've listed in your post.Is that only because of the kids? Not to say that that's not a legitimate reason to stay together but if that's your only reason then you and your wife have some serious problems. Why does she refuse marriage counseling? To me that shows an unwilling spirit on her part. In this case you may have to be prepared to let her go. But make her life a living hell by fighting her for everything in court ; the house, the kids, alimony, child support, even the dog. Get yourself a good, experienced divorce lawyer now.

karent23

I wouldn't say make her life a living hell in court. If you do that your children will be the ones who suffer.

s_cianci

If she insists on a divorce, the children will suffer no matter what so that's a moot point.

hajt70

You are correct. we have lots of problems but none of the problems is worth for divorce.
She never acted this way before (like I am her enemy).
I don't not want divorce not because of her money, but because of the kids and I still have feeling for her.
She refuses marriage counseling because I refused in the past and because she said she does not have a problem.
We do not have any dog. We do have two rental properties.
Thanks,

George_1950

You have a significant relationship with your children; therefore, I would not be the one to leave. If she decided to leave, then work out the budget to where all the bills get paid and let her go. Wait about 60 - 90 days and reassess what the relationship means to both of you and where you want it to go. It is no fun being miserable.

simoneaugie

It is difficult to maintain focus on a marriage when there are children. You have added extended family to the mix. The two of you need some time together to talk. If she insists on separation, make her move.

hajt70

Thank you for your reply. We both love our children very much and none of us will leave without them. This could get ugly if we end up divorcing.

George_1950

It doesn't have to get ugly, so please do whatever you can to adjust that. I guess it gets ugly when someone is totally selfish.

reyes lujan

It looks like you opened up your house to relatives and they took over your household. It's good to help family out but they need to respect your space. Give your wife some positive output and she won't be thinking of walking out.