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    neverdream's Avatar
    neverdream Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 9, 2011, 08:15 PM
    My wife says she loves me, but she keeps on remembering her ex
    I got married this year, and its almost 2 months now, still my wife keeps on thinking about her ex. At the time of marriage, she had admitted about her affair, but had told me that, she doesn't care about him anymore. I thought she really meant it and hence trusted her n got married. Now after marriage, she sends him chat messages and says that she misses him and asks if he misses her too. I had a doubt in my mind, so I did see her chat history and found that. After that I was extremely unhappy with her and I told her that the way she behaved was really painful. Somehow I got over this, and again after a couple of months, she starts watching sad songs, songs where the lover leaves you, movies which have the stories of love affairs, or TV serials where there are similar stories of girls getting married to wrong persons. To my face, she really shows as if she loves me, but from inside she thinks about her ex. This I know, from the choice of her songs, movies, and TV serials. I feel cheated as she did not tell me that she had such a serious affair that lasted for 4 years before marriage. Had I known that, I would have never married to her. Now, she keeps irritating me, by watching songs that make her feel better, that have things related to her ex. And when I try to ask her as to why she is watching such songs, she starts lying about everything. She says, by mistake I have seen that, sometimes I like sad songs from childhood, she even swears to God that her intention is not that. I am tired of fighting with her. But I don't want to take a divorce because it will bring really bad name to our families. I am confused and don't have anyone to tell this too. I feel like, I will never get to see someone who doesn't think about anyone else but me. I am confused, please tell me if any of you have any suggestion.
    buttler73's Avatar
    buttler73 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Dec 9, 2011, 09:14 PM
    You sound young 25 ish?NO matter... You guys are adults and need to have this conversation with each other. Also keep in mind she is a woman and there feelings are very much different from a mans. If she is married to you she loved and loves you somewhere in there. Also take her out a lot and create your own memories an dthose of her past will go away... At the same time no way in hell she is going to carry on any type of conversation with any ex anything now that your married you need to man up a little and lay down the law as far as that topic goes.
    neverdream's Avatar
    neverdream Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 9, 2011, 09:47 PM
    That's right, m 26 n it looks like too difficult job to make her forget her past, as small little things of daily life keeps her reminding of him.. I have been trying my best, but it is discouraging when she is unwilling to forget her past
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Dec 10, 2011, 12:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by buttler73 View Post
    At the same time no way in hell she is going to carry on any type of conversation with any ex anything now that your married you need to man up a little and lay down the law as far as that topic goes.

    Lay down the law? She's not his slave. She's his partner.

    They need to talk this out.
    hurt_14's Avatar
    hurt_14 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    May 3, 2012, 05:46 AM
    In the same boat mate! I am guessing it's a sub continental epidemic... but as buttler73 says I guess we just create new memories and love uncondittionally and hope things work out for the best... lets hope things work out for the both of us... other than that we just got to man up and take life by its horns... when life gives you lemons make lemonade

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