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Wife left has apt and now coming in and taking things
My wife has left me and wants a divorce. She now has an apartment and is coming in to the house and getting her belongings. Which I agree on her getting her personal things. However can she just come in get what she wants when I am not here? I am not sure if she will gather up everything and leave me with nothing. Can the locks be changed? She is has left me. i reside in texas. She says she will file for the divorce. I don't want the divorce due to it is a sin unless she is had an affair. She has told me she will file. Need to know my rights to the belongings of the house. She also said that she dosn't want the house. So I can keep it. she cant afford it as it is. Please help
it stops being joint property when they are LEGALLY separated, and as far as this person si concerned, he doesn't want a divorce, so there's no legal anything happening, she has just moved away, and she said she doesn't want to live there or own the home itself, but she obviously is returning to get her things.
That is debatable in some states. In some states, community property stops being "community" at the date of seperation. That could mean, in some states, the date they decided to call it quits or the date of the breakdown. Which I would guess would be the day she moved out and signed a lease to where ever she lives now (which would be a documented date). Some states will look at the seperation date as what is filed with the courts.
So, it would be nice to find out what state this person lives in.
True, if that's the case, it may be that the husband has the right to change the locks, but, I doubt that is the case here.
I'm guessing the TX means this person lives in Texas.. and I looked up info about the law there... it says
Texas is a community property state, and living apart does not make property you acquire separate property. For example, your salary doesn’t become your separate property until January 1st of the year in which you file for divorce. For more information about property division in a divorce, see Dividing Up Property in a Divorce: Community Property vs. Equitable Distribution.
Actually it depends on what state you live in. In some states, you can change the locks once a spouse has moved out and expressed that they will not return.
Please cite ANY law in any state that allows for this. From my experience a change of locks would only be allowed once a separation agreement is put into place.
3. Changing the Locks.
If you are going to remain in your residence and your spouse has voluntarily
moved out, without expressed intention of not returning or has been ordered to
move out, change the locks immediately upon his or her departure. Do this despite
the fact that your spouse may have personal effects in the house. Failure to heed
this advice may cause you embarrassment, loss of property, and other problems.
This is what I found from a Houston, Texas attorney's website. Recommending that locks be changed...
While that isn't a law, I'll accept it as advice from an experienced lawyer. I still think documentation is a better option especially if the OP doesn't want a divorce.
I'd like to add something here. I agree with ScottGem about making a list of all your possessions.
But what's really bothering TxLongLegs is not knowing what she's planning to take. I would recommend that he engage her in a conversation about this to put his mind at ease. Do not argue with her about moving out, about the divorce, or anything else, as it won't change her mind to tell her she is sinning, etc. Save that for another, separate conversation.
Do tell her that you are upset about her coming in when you are gone and taking things-- BECAUSE you don't know if she's going to take your stuff or take things you think she should leave. Using the list you made (and which she can add to), work out an agreement about what is hers to take and what isn't. Then help her move that stuff out of the apartment, without acrimony. I know this will be incredibly hard for you right now, Tx, but it will solve this particular problem. I think you have a right to live in peace without wondering what's going to be missing every time you come home from work. This is a hard time for you and the extra stress is bad for you and, ultimately, for your wife as well.
Do not change the locks or escalate the conflict in other ways if you can help it.
If there are items that you can't agree on, make sure to list them and both sign the document saying you haven't agreed on them. You can work that out later, perhaps with a mediator. Whether she takes them or not, you'll have a record that you didn't agree for them to be gone (or she will), and you will perhaps be able to get things back. Or maybe she will come back. But right now you need to deal with your anxiety about your home being dismantled unilaterally. She will appreciate your reasonableness and it will make everything else easier.
Your being upset about this is totally understandable. Just focus on dealing with that right now. Good luck!
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