My wife is Abusive and Deny's it. How do I deal with Divorcing her?

kinglash2010 · Jul 17, 2010, 02:24 PM

The worse part is when she told me to Get over it! That's why I feel pretty stupid sometimes that I'm still around to hear her say more and more. Its like a big mind game

Just_Another_Lemming · Jul 17, 2010, 02:30 PM

Don't feel stupid. Yes, it is a mind game. She knows how to manipulate you. Get out. Stop talking to her.

NO CONTACT! I remember someone had created a sticky (post) with the NO CONTACT rule. I am going to see if I can find it and post it for you. If I can't, maybe someone else here will be kind enough to post it for you.

Just_Another_Lemming · Jul 17, 2010, 02:37 PM

Found them! Click on the links, read through them carefully. Reread when you feel yourself starting to get weak and are tempted to speak with her:

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...qs-332732.html

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...nc-425290.html

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...es-351302.html

kinglash2010 · Jul 17, 2010, 02:38 PM

Ok Thanks. I'm Going to check them out

Just_Another_Lemming · Jul 17, 2010, 02:41 PM

You're welcome. Good luck! When you feel weak again, post back. Someone will be around to help you.

talaniman · Jul 17, 2010, 02:43 PM

Whew, I too am glad you don't have any kids and if you divorce her and disappear from her life you won't have any more abuse either. Then a proper healing will put you on a good healthy path again.

Thanks for your service and sorry its the only relief you have.

Kitkat22 · Jul 17, 2010, 05:09 PM

The woman needs to learn how life is without you . Leave her and never go back.

Oddboots · Jul 17, 2010, 08:44 PM

Get it into your head. A woman like that can never love you in return.

Get our while you still have your sanity and your self respect.

She won't change. You can.

Kitkat22 · Jul 17, 2010, 08:52 PM

She's trouble with a capital "T".

giderdone · Jul 17, 2010, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kinglash2010

I've been married for amost 8 years now. 7.5 of the 8 years has been fighting and the worst kind of arguments and abuse that you can think of. I mean from job sabatoge to spiting in my face. The name calling and several other forms of verbal, emotional abuse has placed me in a position where if I don't go I am going to go insane or get in trouble. For some time I knew things were very bad but never educated my self on abuse and what it is, recently I did some reading on the subject and discovered that my Wife is a Text Book Abuser. I want to leave but its hard cause I love her. She is in denial even though I show her what she does. She tells me I need to get over it, and that I make her say and do things. Its so crazy cause she does not make sense and can not see it. I feel like I wasted enough years of my life on this. I left her for 7 months and was treated so much better, after the time apart I came back because she said she changed but she is worst. I feel like I'm missing out on life. What do I do, how do I handle it emotionally and help my self handle this big task?

Seems to me that your wife and my common-law could be sisters. If you have no children together, then rent a storage unit and start packing.
No one has to endure abuse of any kind and I do feel your pain. The only reason I'm still with mine is because we have a child together and I won't leave him with her for too long.

Just remember "Filter & Focus"! Filter out her abuse & Focus on making a better life for YOURSELF!

Another trick, have a file started with the police then tell her off. When she takes a swing, make sure she leaves a mark then have her charged. Peace bond should follow. Just stand up for yourself!

My wife is Abusive and Deny's it. How do I deal with Divorcing her?

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