Why won't my three year old son talk to his dad on the phone?

tickle · Sep 9, 2011, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spankie73

Here is some more info...there is a counseling center in my area that works with children my son's age and they will come out to our house to make it more comfortable for him. That is why I am considering doing it.

Good idea. It will be in familiar surroundings for your son which is a good way to approach this. You have l/4 of the battle, spankie, just keep on talking to us if something else comes to mind.

Tick

spankie73 · Sep 9, 2011, 12:18 PM

Thank you everyone for your insightful and excellent advice. I will contact my lawyer about seeking counseling help for my son before I do it and I did plan on having them record it all, just as I have done with most of the conversations I have with him about his time with his dad since his dad is already in contempt of our court order. I am very careful with how I word questions to my son so nobody thinks I am putting ideas in his head or coercing him to say something. I just wish his dad would stop the hatred and do what is best for our son. Maybe someday he will grow up and realize our son is most important.

THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH for your much needed help.

Wondergirl · Sep 9, 2011, 01:11 PM

Please let us know how things are going. We want the best for your son (and you)!

spankie73 · Sep 9, 2011, 05:39 PM

Wondergirl - I promise I will. It is so nice to have a community of educated people to get answers from. I truly appreciate the time you have taken to help me more than you will ever know. Blessings to you and the others who commented.

I go see my counselor next week, so hopefully she can help me with more insight and the panic attacks I have been having.

spankie73 · Sep 22, 2011, 04:25 PM

Hi everyone. So, this weekend is the first time since his dad hit me that my son sees his dad. I am taking him to my ex's dad's house tomorrow so we don't have to see each other and so he can have more time with our son. Here is my problem...he did not talk to his dad again tonight and does not seem excited to be seeing him. My son is more excited to be seeing grandpa than dad. AS much as I despise my ex, I want my son to have a good relationship with his dad, but don't want to push too hard. My counselor said my son is in a transition period, but this was going on way before his dad took him for the extended summer vac. Any ideas on how I can get him excited about it?

Wondergirl · Sep 22, 2011, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spankie73

Any ideas on how I can get him excited about it?

How about making a Flat Daddy out of cardboard? (Do you know about Flat Stanley?)

Or buy a Ken doll ("Daddy") and a little boy doll (your son) and make up and have adventures around the house (reading and playing with little cars and building towers with blocks, etc.)?

Of course, that means your son will have expectations about Daddy who will have to step up to the plate over the weekend and actually play with and relate to his child.

spankie73 · Sep 23, 2011, 09:15 AM

Wondergirl, great ideas. Have not heard of flat Stanley, but will give it a go. I am worried that as you stated, his dad will have expectations to live up to that he never will and don't want my son to be disappointed anymore than he already is. Maybe I will talk with my ex's dad and see if he can help in any way by talking to his son about finally stepping up to the plate and being the dad he has never been. Will let you know how the weekend goes when Bubba comes back. Thanks again for all of your help.

Wondergirl · Sep 23, 2011, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spankie73

Will let you know how the weekend goes when Bubba comes back. Thanks again for all of your help.

Yes, please let us know.

You can use stuffed animals or dolls you may have lying around and name one Daddy and one with your son's name. The main thing is to realize your son is very visual at this age and probably loves playing with toys with an adult interacting with him and the toys. You can throw Daddy's name into conversations with him too -- "I wonder if Daddy would like these crackers we're eating" or "Daddy loves peaches" (if your son is eating peaches). Maybe add a Grandpa doll too? You can also use hand puppets (a white sock with a face drawn on) or even draw eyes, nose, and mouth on your fingertip and pretend it's Daddy or Son or Grandpa or you. I entertained my kids on long car trips by drawing faces (mad face, happy face, sad face) on our pointer fingers and having "conversations."

AJ_Hunsucker · Sep 26, 2011, 01:00 PM

Well for a three year old baby, it is quite normal. Just let him grow and he will show you how to use the phone. You will be furious about his dozen of girl friends and their phone calls. At that time, you will be posting the question "how to keep my son away from phone"

jamiepcurtis90 · Jul 29, 2012, 07:03 AM

i know this is an older post, but my husband and i are in a similar situation. my husband is in Afghanistan, but calls every night and morning, and we always use skype. our son is turning 3 in october and talks extremely well. however, most of the time he refuses to talk to his dad. hell say little things like "hi" or "love you" but generally thats it. sometimes he will talk for 10 min or so, but my husband has informed me that it hurts his feelings our son will not speak with him.

i do talk with our son every day about his dad, and he knows he is in afghanistan...or as our son puts it " atganstan"

i also try to communicate the fact to my husband that our son is only two and basically has no idea what a phone is. it helps we use skype, but he wants to talk to him more....its super stressful on me as i dont want either party to feel hurt. any suggestions?

Why won't my three year old son talk to his dad on the phone?

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