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I want to live with my mom but my dad has custody over me
[F][/font] Hi I have a question regarding my situation. Ok well my parents were never married but they did separate when I was eight and me and my siblings got stuck living with my dad. So anyway me and my siblings want to live with our mom so we told her and she started going to court to try to win us back. We have been going to court for eight years now and i am 16 about to turn 17 in one week. Me and my siblings told the judge at the court we wanted to live with our mom but they still made us live with our dad. My father doesnt hit us but he yells at us and then threatens to hit us. I am getting sick of this he doesnt allow me to get a job and he doesnt by me clothes or shoes. My mom is the one who buys that for us but she is not supposed to my dad is supposed to do that. We also told our dad that we want to live with our mom but he doesnt want us to. Since I am about to be 17 I don't know if I could runaway from my dads house and go live with my mom.
My question is if I runaway from my dads house and go to live with my mom will my mom get in trouble or will I get in trouble??? Like will my mom go to jail if I go live with her even though I am under my dads custody or will I go to Juvenile for running away and deciding to live with my mom instead of my dad???? Is 17 old enough for me to runaway from my dads house to go live with my mom??????? I am really confused please help me out!!!!!
Your dad could press charges against your mother for custodial interference if she allows you to move in with her without a new custody order. Judges typically won't allow children to switch houses because they dislike someone's rules or discipline methods, etc. You and your mom have to prove what the benefits are of you switching houses, not what you dislike about your dad's house. The court sees you have been living with dad for 9 years, and assumes you have been well cared for. Now if your dad were moving to a new school district and your mom were living in the one you have always attended, that would be a good argument for moving in with her. In less than a year your dad will be unable to stop you from going anywhere. Just hang in there.
Yes, your dad can press both criminal charges and also contempt of court issues in family court.
Also they can send the police or juv authorities to drag you back home, or even chage you with being a deliquent and have you taken before the juv court judge. ** except for a couple states that allow a 17 year old to move out.
And honestly, for a mom not to get the kids, esp if the kids are asking to go to mom, there has to be some reason, this is a very unusual court order
Myths abound in divorce court, but one of the most damaging is the notion that when a child reaches the age of 14, it is the child who can decide which parent to live with. That is not true!There is a law that says when a child is 14 years old, the judge "shall consider" the desires of the child in custody cases, but the law does not say the judge shall do what the child wants. There is a world of difference between considering someone's wishes and granting those wishes.There are many reasons why judges do not automatically accept children's wishes about custody. Here are just some of them:
(1) Children can choose to live with the parent who has promised them inappropriate benefits, a new car, or no curfew for example.
(2) Children can choose to live with the parent they feel needs them. That puts the child into a parental role which is harmful. It is the parents' job to take care of the children, not vice versa.
(3) Children can choose to live with the parent they hardly know because they have a "fairytale" expectation about how wonderful that parent will be. That fantasy seldom turns into reality.
(4) Children can choose to live with the parent who has more money. If courts approved such a decision, materialism would become even worse than it already is. The law promotes the goal of putting money where the children are, not putting children where the money is.
In making custody decisions, judges consider the parents' wishes and consider the children's wishes. But every one should know that 14-year-olds do not make custody decision!
Chuck has a point here. For custody to go to the father and remain there thru 8 years of court petitions indicates there is something going on here you aren't telling us.
But, as vlee said, once you are 18, you can do what you want. Until then you have to abide by the court orders.
Why stir up all that trouble when you are so close to being an adult? Not worth it. That the courts have not found sufficent cause to change custody, its very obvious there is more to your story than you have let on so hang in another year, and obey your fathers rules, then your free.
Unfortunely, the court system is not perfect. There is no way for judges and attorneys to spend a few minutes glossing over everyone's paperwork and suddenly have a definite grasp of what is really going on behind the scenes.
And newsflash, in this day and age a mom is not automatically given custody, but it's funny how people assume she must be a druggie or lowlife if she loses custody. Another thing is that people who are terrible and abusive parents get their kids more often that the average person would imagine. A lot of it has to do with luck, money, and who has the best attorney. Once custody has been awarded, it is nearly impossible to change it if the custodial parent is not willing.
My advice to kids stuck in an upleasant situation is to make the most of your time with your non-custodial parent, do the best you can, and realize that it really will pass. You'll be grown before you know it with lots of possibilities before you.
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