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When we got married I was crazy about my now husband. I was madly in love with him. Now I'm not. I have no feelings toward him what so ever anymore. He has emotionally decapatated me. We have only been married for 8 months and I want out. How do I go about getting the divorce, and how do I tell him I don't love him anymore? He is ten years older than me, and I'm not ready for any of this. I'm only 20 years old and I feel like I'm wasting my life being married to a butt. Please help!!
Hey Lou Lou,
First tell me what attracted you to him in the first place?
Do you realise that marriage means for the rest of your' life?
How has he changed between the day you got married and now?
What has happened that changed everything you had in a few short months? You know a lot of people forget that in marriage usually the "for worse" comes before the "for better" part. I am guessing that your age gap is causing trouble... not necessarily the age difference, but the ages you two are? Fill us in... we will give our best advice.
I just think most of us will really want to know what could go so horribly wrong in 8 months?
Quote:
Originally Posted by wewed100606
Maybe she's simply just fallen out of infatuation, and it was never love to begin with? Older guy treating you better, spoiling you, heady stuff - then down to normality and realising he's already been where you really want to go, and he doesn't want to go there again? You still want a good time, and his definition of a good time is starting a family?
Quote:
Originally Posted by kandyfruitcake
Yeah we could all specualte on what has gone wrong. I just wanted to hear it from her so we knew exactly what was going on. It seems that we all tend to argue amongst ourselves when the specualtion begins. Thanks though!
Quote:
Originally Posted by wewed100606
At 20 years old, maybe you're not really 100% sure exactly why you feel the way you do? That wasn't so much speculation as giving her an open door to just say she'd maybe made a mistake anyone could, and could admit it without airing her 'dirty washing' in public.
well first of all, you really need to think about why you got married in the first place.
I have been in a similar situation 20 yrs old and married the first guy that asked me, who was 9 yrs older than me, because I was upset about my high school / college sweetheart.
and about 8-10 months later no longer wanted to be married to him because I knew that I had made a terrible mistake by marrying this man. He was so in love with me but the feeling was mutual.
I just sat down one night and made him listen to what I had to say and all he could say was that I was a child and if we tried it would all work out.
Well he was right I was young but he was wrong about it working out I hated more and more everyday.
I decided to pack my things and moved out. He pursued me for a while but eventually he found someone else closer to his age and that truly loved him.
I finally got my divorce after five years. He fought me every time we would go to court or he would move and I finally had to hire a PI to locate him.
I think he did that to make me feel his pain.
As for me I married my high school / college sweetheart and we have two great kids.
Luckly things worked out for me. I just really think that you need to think about why you married him and if you don't want him any longer, end it now and if your upset over some petty things think it out before you do anything you might regret.
I hope this help and I truly understand what you are going through:)
I don't doubt your feelings about your husband, but I think you should know why you feel the way you do. For that reason, I believe you should speak with a marital/relationship counselor and find out what is going on. After you get into this process, you may want to invite him so that he can get the truth 'straight up', and you don't have to tell any fibs about why you feel the way you do when you have no idea. Then, you call a matrimonial lawyer.
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