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    kbtusmc1's Avatar
    kbtusmc1 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 13, 2006, 04:45 PM
    Trying to file for divorce myself
    I am attampting to file for divorce without using a lawyer. I was recently laid off from work and money is real tight. I am trying to get a divorce before I refinance my house. I have a couple of questions. I downloaded the divorce papers so I can do it myself.

    1. There was a child involved but I found out after we were already separated that the child was not mine. We have already been to court to have my name taken off the birth certificate. I do not have to pay child support or anything. I still keep my son everyother night. What of the part of the divorce package do I not need to file due to this?

    2. The only things that are left to settle are 2 cars and a house. As of now my name is on here car loan and title. Her name is on my car loan and title. We both have agreed that her car is hers and my car is mine. Do the cars need to be invloved in the divorce papers? If not how do we get eachothers names off the loans and titles?

    3. As for the house, I had purchased the house before we were married and the only reason her name is on the title is I had to refinance becaue I was buying the house from my boss and he needed to get him out from under it. We both agree that the house is mine and she says she wants nothing to do with the house. Does this need to be included in the divorce papers? If not how do I go about getting her name off the title to my house?



    Thank you
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Jan 13, 2006, 05:08 PM
    Lawyer
    Saving a couple of thousand now will cost you 10's of thousands down the road.

    1. You can not normally get anyone off the deed ( there is no title to a house unless it is a mobile home) as long as they are a listed party on the lien. It is possible to have them deed their share of the house to you, since if they are on the deed they are part owners of the house.

    2. don't assume that since the child is not yours you will not have to pay child support, that is all dependent upon what state you live in.

    3. Everything has to be spelled out to a "T" in legal separation papers, that wll be agreed to in court, unless it is listed it is not settled. Also you will still have a hard time merely changing names on car titles with liens on them until they are paid off. The name on the lien is who the loan company comes after, the divorce decree does not take away your debt, merely says the other person will pay. Loan company comes after you, you can then go after other party.

    Do not attempt to do a divorce involving children and major property without an attorney,

    If you don't own a home, don't have children you can file a simple one, I would still advice using a paralegal at least even on that.

    You will most likely make a major mistake without an attorney, don't risk it
    mr.yet's Avatar
    mr.yet Posts: 1,725, Reputation: 176
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    #3

    Jan 13, 2006, 05:08 PM
    Divorce
    Will be divorce be contested? As for the divorce kit, it is general in nature, you will have to re-type it so that if un-contested, you have to list the conditions you both agreed to. You should speak with a paralegal to make sure it is formated properly, the courts like that.
    Just some thoughts, not legal advice.
    Good luck
    kbtusmc1's Avatar
    kbtusmc1 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jan 13, 2006, 07:34 PM
    Self divorce
    Is there a way I can get my ex to sign the house over to me. What would that consist of out of court. She is willing to do it if I can figure out how to do it. She wants nothing to do with the house.
    kbtusmc1's Avatar
    kbtusmc1 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jan 13, 2006, 07:36 PM
    Another note
    My ex has nothing to do with the loan she was not added to it. The loan is solely in my name. The only reason she is on the deed is because I had to refinance after we got married.
    kbtusmc1's Avatar
    kbtusmc1 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jan 13, 2006, 07:38 PM
    The divorce is not going to be contested
    As of today my ex told me she wants the divorce and is not going to contest it. And she gets her car and I get my car and the house.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Jan 13, 2006, 07:49 PM
    Deed
    Assumeing you live in a state that allows for a quick claim deed, you can have her sign one giving the house over to you.

    If you live in a state that used a title company on houses, they can help you with the paper work, as can a real estate company for advice on transfer of the house. But none of this is a good and covers all the posiblity.

    BUT!!

    Remember the person saying they will sign and agree to anything today, may be the person suing you in two years when they decide they don't want you to be happy again or just to be hateful.

    So if you do not dot all the "I" and cross all the "t" now, all of this being cheap now will be very costly latter.

    So if things are not doen properly though the court, and one party decides latter to appeal or to file some additional motion who knows what can happen.

    I will still advice that to protect yourself because of the child and the property transfers, you really... need that attorney.
    Dr D's Avatar
    Dr D Posts: 698, Reputation: 127
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    #8

    Jan 13, 2006, 08:34 PM
    Dear KB
    1) You stated that you put your wife's name on the title (deed) when you purchased the house from your boss. If she was on the deed when you got the last mortgage, then she is on the loan. If you got the loan while you were married and she was not on the deed, then she had to sign a disclaimer deed (in community property states) stating that she had no interest in the property. If she is on the deed then she is on the loan, the divorce papers should state that you are being awarded the real property and the responsibility for the mortgage (loan # xxxxxxx with xyz mortgage co).
    2) Autos: the divorce papers should state that she is awarded 2xxx Auto with corresponding loan #xxxx to xyz bank. The same goes for the auto awarded to you. Specifying the loan #s and bank on both autos will avoid confusion in the future, as you both go on with your lives. Getting each other off the other ex-spouses car loans may be a problem unless you can each qualify for the respective loans on your own. The banks would rather have two responsible parties to go after in event of a default regardless of what the divorce decree says.
    3) Your chances for a refinance are slim since you are laid off your job and don't have an income.

    As an old sage said: these are the times that try men's souls - hang in there and do your best to keep the wheels from falling off.
    kbtusmc1's Avatar
    kbtusmc1 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jan 13, 2006, 08:42 PM
    Ty for replying
    If I put that on the divorce petition the car loans and the house do I have to fill in the assets part and other since everything else has already been distrubited between us? Or just put that she will receive the one car and put the loan number and lien holder. And in my section put the house mortgage company and the car and llien holder?
    Dr D's Avatar
    Dr D Posts: 698, Reputation: 127
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    #10

    Jan 13, 2006, 08:57 PM
    Filling in the blanks
    My advice would be to fill in all the blanks of the divorce papers. That way nothing is left to chance. While you are taking some risks in doing your own divorce, I have seen enough screw ups of divorces (such as not specifying account numbers of debts) and bankruptcies by lazy and stupid lawyers. No general slur on honored members of the legal profession was intended by my previous statement.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #11

    Jan 15, 2006, 05:40 PM
    Everything nees to be spelled out in minute detail ; especially since you're doing it yourself without a lawyer. Who owns what, who gets what, the status and paternity of the child, who's paying alimony, how much and for how long, etc. Leave no question unanswered, no stone unturned. IF the two of you can agree on everything, that's great; put in in writing, file it with Superior Court and everything's done. If you cant, then a judge will have to sort it all out but make sure you put in writing from the start what you want where everything is concerned.
    mnunn's Avatar
    mnunn Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Sep 23, 2007, 06:51 AM
    Just went through a divorce myself. Very, very costly when you have one saying he will just let his atty take care of it. He was going for 1/2 of my retirement. And that was after he had just cashed his out and then asked for divorce. He ended up getting more of our property instead of my retirement.
    The attorneys will tell you that they are out to help you win in this case so right away they will tell you to avoid any contact w ex. This way you won't be tempted to negotiate. They start keeping files and lead you in to believe you will have a good chance at trial. They make it appear that they are really going after the ex's attorney for this battle-when in fact, they are buddies at the courthouse who often go to lunch together or get together on the golf course on Sunday.This can easily cost several thousand dollars. All of this drags on and every time you talk to atty it costs you. I remember regretting getting that cup of tea that probably cost me $50 dollars for the time it had to brew at the atty's office. 90% of cases that appear to be heading for trial end up in mediation and get settled there (mediation of course is extra) The atty will drag this divorce out for a lengthy time so they can make money off you with little extras such as motions, and more paperwork. I wrote my proposals and did my interrogatories myself in great detail. And when I saw my husbands response from his atty I saw that most were answered n/a. They pretty well know at the beginning how it is all going to end up w/o even looking. I am in a no-fault divorce state that is also a community property state so everything is looked at like a business relationship. So if partner messes up, it affects business or you as well as far as responsibility.
    Bottom line is this: try to negotiate, start at the top so there is room for the negotiation on your part. You can certainly do it yourself and save thousands. Certainly best if you can communicate. Be sure to address your house as separate property which means she did not contribute to any payments or repairs during marriage. The divorce will mention that no children are involved.
    If you do not address the car loans in your name and she gets the car you will be held responsible. I refinanced house to get his name off.

    Good luck!
    simplyj's Avatar
    simplyj Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Apr 22, 2012, 10:54 AM
    After the papers are drawn up what is my next step
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #14

    Apr 23, 2012, 05:54 AM
    In MY State the papers are filed with the Court, assigned an Index Number, then served on the Defendant.

    I don't know where you are.

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