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billino32 · Nov 18, 2007, 02:52 PM

Hi, I am the father of 2 16 month old twin girls, we went to court and I have temp custody. Mother is charged with domestic abuse. My question is.. if I have had temp custody for over a half a year and the kids are doing great, would it be hard for me to keep being custodial parent in joint custody after the decree? I have a powerhouse attorney, mother is now representing herself after her attorney withdrew for her nonpayment.

N0help4u · Nov 18, 2007, 03:00 PM

Since you have had them this long the court will likely favor you unless she proves she has been pro actively working toward reuniting with the girls. Which would likely be things such as domestic abuse classes and a stable place to call home. Also some family court Judges frown on representing yourself. It really all depends though.

ScottGem · Nov 18, 2007, 04:15 PM

The fact that they were placed with you in the first place is a big plus. It means that the mother will need to prove she will not commit abuse again to have even a remote chance of getting primary custody.

billino32 · Nov 18, 2007, 04:30 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

The fact that they were placed with you in the first place is a big plus. It means that the mother will need to prove she will not commit abuse again to have even a remote chance of getting primary custody.

Can she still get primary custody though? Or do I still have a little bit of the upper hand since they are doing so well with me during all this time? I am in and will continue to stay in the family home.

ScottGem · Nov 18, 2007, 04:42 PM

I can't predict what a judge will do. No one can. But the odds favor you.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 18, 2007, 05:25 PM

I had temp custody of my boys for almost a year and 1/2 , there was documented evidence of abuse, and guess what, I still lost custody when we went back to court, she had a new husband by then, showed the judge she had done a parenting course and so on.

So never think anything is for sure, if she has not attorney that is great for you. If you can get her into court now, and move on it, it may be best. But talk to your attorney and let him tell you what to do

billino32 · Nov 18, 2007, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I had temp custody of my boys for almost a year and 1/2 , there was documented evidence of abuse, and guess what, I still lost custody when we went back to court, she had a new husband by then, showed the judge she had done a parenting course and so on.

so never think anything is for sure, if she has not attorney that is great for you. if you can get her into court now, and move on it, it may be best. But talk to your attorney and let him tell you what to do

Is there anything I can do to better myself if she has to take anger management classes for her domestic abuse? To try to stay 1 step up on her? What were the reasons she got custody after so long?

N0help4u · Nov 18, 2007, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I still lost custody when we went back to court, she had a new husband by then, showed the judge she had done a parenting course and so on.

She changed her circumstances that caused her to not have the custody the first time.

All you can do is be the best dad you can be and stay on top of things with your kids and hope and pray for the best.
It should work out for the good for you. Sometimes a Judge will rule in the favor of the kids staying where they are simply because uprooting them to the other parent would change their life structure school, friends, routine, etc...

Fr_Chuck · Nov 18, 2007, 06:54 PM

Good reports of day care centers, or good grades in school. A good balanced life, activities the children are in and so on.