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Hello to all my old friends here. I had to start a new post because the old one began to steer way off course. So to begin here I want to vent on how my lawyer is frustrating the hell out of me.
When I first went to her I was seeking somewhere near sole custody realizing I would wind up with somewhere near joint. But she just did her bare minimum working just enough to achieve the status quo. I had a lock tight case, and she blew it.
Furthermore, she gave away more visitation time than I agreed to. I had a written statement that my ex could visit on alternate Wednesdays...she gave the ex every Wednesday. On Fridays when there is no school, I get them until noon. But on Mondays when there is no school, she gets them until 5PM. And because I fought to put the kids in school with me, they gave her an extra 26 days during the summer. These are all things I didn't agree to, never received the document for review before it went to the judge, and never signed it. I'm not trying to keep the kids from their mother, I just want a fair resolution. With this plan I basically get downtime with the kids M/T/TH, while she gets
W/F/S/Sun, and most of the summer. This is not acceptable to me, nor do I think it is fair.
I feel like I was railroaded by both attorneys who just wanted to get through this case.
My first hearing is in a few weeks. Right now we are working on the financial part of the case. So the situation is getting sticky.
I want to talk to her about the custody thing, but don't want her to get too ruffled to care about the financials.
I want to fire my lawyer, and report her. But it is getting down to the wire, and finding a new lawyer, and getting one up to speed seems dangerous.
What are my rights here? Can I ask my attorney to file for a modification of the custody agreement? Would it be worthwhile going to another attorney?
CONGRATULATIONS FAMILYMAN2!!!! What a wonderful outcome to your year of heartbreak and concerns. Those of us who have kept up with your dilemma knew all along that you'd come out fine in the end. What had fascinated me was your total concern for your children before anything else. You were like the mother bear looking out after her cubs .. something your 'soon-to-be-ex' should have been doing. Now that all your ducks are in a row, so to speak, you're just now beginning to think about yourself a little bit. Wow. You are to be admired, Familyman2. Be proud (as we are of you) and know in your heart that you went over and beyond what the average man would have done out of love for their children. Please keep us updated. You deserve a normal life and you'll find it soon.
Thank you for that Delilah. As I mentioned before, your unwavering support and words of kindness have had a huge impact upon me. You and the great friends I have made here have helped me become stronger, and hopefully better. I still have a ways to go before I feel like I am running on all cylinders. But I couldn't have made it to this point without you assuring me that things can get better.
The kids are doing great. We are having a good summer. We have taken a few short trips and have gotten away from it all for a while....But I miss them terribly when they are not with me. What makes it worse is that this lowlife chump gets the honor of their presence. I need to get over it, however. It's reality and it does me no good to be angry about it. I just keep thinking about how they will be with me 245 days per year! It's not 365 but it is the best I can expect for now.
The final hearing for the divorce will be in early September. The only thing we are working on is the division of assets....I couldn't care less!
I suppose I am going through a common thing after enduring the end of a marriage. I am stuck in a paradox where I am feeling very lonely, yet I am closed off to the idea of meeting someone (or even dating). I can't visualize being special to anyone. It's a confidence thing, or lack thereof. So for the time being I am dealing with the feelings of loneliness and looking at the positive aspects of my life...custody, health, etc...Maybe fate will look my way one more time.
I wish you all the very best, and will check back soon.
She will regret this course of action. You know it is said about affairs and such that you never trade up, you always trade down. She will realize this if she hasnt already.
And I agree, soccer moms will be all over you as they sit there lonely because their husbands are absent. Nothing is sexier than a good dad.
Thanks for keeping us up to date. My thoughts and prayers are with you!!!
The final hearing was last week and the judge made her rulings. The custody is set. The financial order is done. And that awful chapter of my life has past.
I can't say I am 100% pleased with everything. I don't get to see my children everyday, which is tough. But I did manage to get 65% custody.
I can't believe that the ex had the audacity to show up without a lawyer. She came to the next to last hearing without one and the judge admonished her and highly recommended that she obtain council (even though she had two previous lawyers quit). Instead the ex wrote a letter to the judge saying that she didn't want to get another lawyer because they are only in it for themselves and that my lawyer (and her previous two) were out to get her.
She went on to say how the court system is unjust and impersonal...True or not--you don't say this to a judge who is about to hear your case!
She came to the final hearing pro se, and got slammed. My lawyer was all over her, as well as the judge. I just sat there quietly and watched. The ex actually thought she could go in there and properly be an effective lawyer. Oh well...it's over. And I can honestly say now that I am over her. I don't miss her, and it doesn't bother me anymore that she is with someone else. I look forward to meeting someone else and starting anew.
The best news of all, however, is that I have been waking up with a smile on my face. For the first time in years I feel like I can wake up to a normal day and just feel GOOD. It is a feeling that can easily be taken for granted. I know I did. I took the kids to the fair and there was a lightness in the air. No weight on my shoulders...no monkey on my back. Life is good. I made it past the hard times. I am stronger and better. And I could never have done it without help. Your support was nothing short of heroic. I mean it. Heroes are not just the ones we see on TV saving people from burning buildings. Heroes are also people who will help out total strangers out of compassion. My heroes are right here. THANK YOU
awesome and congratulations. I am sorry you and your family went through this, but a friend of mine who went through this a few years back can now admit, if both are not in it for the long haul it is better to go through the pain and get out of it. She is happy and sees it was a good thing. I think that is all you can hope for.
The best news of all, however, is that I have been waking up with a smile on my face.....
This IS what we all have been waiting for sweet Familyman! Hugs, and this is great news
I still don't know how to express my deep respect for how you handled all of this.
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