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Hello to all my old friends here. I had to start a new post because the old one began to steer way off course. So to begin here I want to vent on how my lawyer is frustrating the hell out of me.
When I first went to her I was seeking somewhere near sole custody realizing I would wind up with somewhere near joint. But she just did her bare minimum working just enough to achieve the status quo. I had a lock tight case, and she blew it.
Furthermore, she gave away more visitation time than I agreed to. I had a written statement that my ex could visit on alternate Wednesdays...she gave the ex every Wednesday. On Fridays when there is no school, I get them until noon. But on Mondays when there is no school, she gets them until 5PM. And because I fought to put the kids in school with me, they gave her an extra 26 days during the summer. These are all things I didn't agree to, never received the document for review before it went to the judge, and never signed it. I'm not trying to keep the kids from their mother, I just want a fair resolution. With this plan I basically get downtime with the kids M/T/TH, while she gets
W/F/S/Sun, and most of the summer. This is not acceptable to me, nor do I think it is fair.
I feel like I was railroaded by both attorneys who just wanted to get through this case.
My first hearing is in a few weeks. Right now we are working on the financial part of the case. So the situation is getting sticky.
I want to talk to her about the custody thing, but don't want her to get too ruffled to care about the financials.
I want to fire my lawyer, and report her. But it is getting down to the wire, and finding a new lawyer, and getting one up to speed seems dangerous.
What are my rights here? Can I ask my attorney to file for a modification of the custody agreement? Would it be worthwhile going to another attorney?
Bravo familyman2!!! Can you hear me clapping from here? What a great job you have done to stay calm and act like a responsible adult and parent. You took it slow and sure and never let down your guard... and because of that, things may just work out the way you want them to. It would be hard from here to think that the courts could go anyway but to you for stability. Most parents would have 'lost it', but you stayed the course. You mentioned re-reading your earlier posts and thinking how naive you were. No, you were not naive. You were going though something traumatic that you never thought possible or that could have happened to you. You asked all the right questions and thankfully, found some sound advise from many of the folks here. You built on that and you get the credit for building on the information you had received. I am SO pleased that you feel stronger now and fully realize that life IS good! You're children can only benefit from seeing how you have handled yourself thus far .. and how you strive to keep their daily life as normal as it can possibly be. Once again, not to sound overly dramatic, but BRAVO! I hope you continue to keep us informed. Though I don't post as often as I had, rest assured that I do keep up daily here and do look for your updates. I'm keeping positive thoughts for you, familyman2. I think it's all going to work out fine. :-)
Thru all of this your kids came first, that makes you a REAL MAN. That's what your kids needed. (the world could stand more like you) Much Luck in the future.
The ex has done the same thing again that is very frustrating. Her custody time is Wednesday from 4-8. Instead of telling me she can't make it, she will go into the kids school, bring them a toy and tell them she can't come. Then I don't find out until after school. If I have made plans they are ruined, and she knows this. This is wrong in more ways then one. She should not just pop into the kid's school, it is disruptive. She should inform me if she plans to go in the school out of courtesy. And she should NEVER bring them toys while they are supposed to be learning, much less bring them toys out of guilt for not being there for them. I have repeatedly asked the ex to give me direct information and not use the kids as messengers but it doesn't seem to be sinking in. Should I contact my lawyer about this? Or am I overreacting and being petty?
Other than that all else is normal. Mediation is at the end of May.
You can overcome this set back. Oh my gosh look at all the worse stuff you have gone through
Your plans were messed up, but guess what, what those kids see is a father, a man doing right and a mother that is not. They will remember these times, I promise! I know I did!
Hugs familyman, you are still on the right road!!
Touche Startover22. Thanks for that. You are right, I am looking at this as bonus time with the kids. I would much rather have them and my plans botched than to not have them and follow through with my plans. I still wish she would have a little more respect and consideration, but that is a tall order!!
You say they will remember these time, you did. What do you mean by that? Do you remember this with your parents, or do your kids remember this with you? At what point did these revelations happen? Just curious...
my parents split when I was 5....I saw my mom once when I was 9, once when I was 15 and again when I was 32, and again when I was 33. I am still 33 (being 5 it is hard to remember but i do) I remember being connected to my mothers hip, I didnt even let her pee with out me bugging her, I loved her. She loved me. She and my dad got a divorce, my mom lived in the same town for a little under a year, but then she left never to return.
I never ever thought it was my business to ask what happened. All I do know is that my Dad took us all (4)on. He could have let my mom take us, but he knew it wouldnt be good, even though I am sure it killed him to have motherless children. I remember that and always will. I remember my mom being flaky and not giving us the attention we needed when we did see her (when she lived in town)
Family man, you are a man of honor, you just keep that up and when your kids are 33, they will (I hope) know nothing but the love and strong parenting you Family man gave them. You give them security and structure. They have to know they had some one to count on, and that will be you
Yes it's therapy! Feel better? Sounds like you have a great dad. What you went through is something I swore would never happen to any child that I brought into this world. I made my feelings very clear to my wife (girlfriend at the time) while she was pushing for marriage and a family. This is the issue that really burns me because I thought she understood just how serious I was, and that she felt the same way. Live and learn...
Hi guy, I see she still doesn't have a clue, but your behavior is outstanding, and your kids are so lucky. Glad to know there are still REAL MEN in the world. You can handle this latest escapade, but document them, and make sure your lawyer knows everything. Continued luck.
Wow, just caught up on this saga.....Bring these visitation issues to the attention of the principal and the mediator. I am sure they will broker a solution best for the children and it will not be coming from you.
Good luck and can hardly wait for the dissolution....as I feel strongly you will surely get a favorable one.
Thanks again for the support and advise you all. I have documented every visitation since the beginning of September '07. I'll bring this to mediation, and fax a copy to my lawyer.
The mediation is in a couple weeks, and the trial (or hearing) will be in mid July. If mediation fails there will be a home study. The final hearing is set for mid August. It's all coming to a head and hopefully I will be legally rid of her by September.
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