Hello to all my old friends here. I had to start a new post because the old one began to steer way off course. So to begin here I want to vent on how my lawyer is frustrating the hell out of me.

When I first went to her I was seeking somewhere near sole custody realizing I would wind up with somewhere near joint. But she just did her bare minimum working just enough to achieve the status quo. I had a lock tight case, and she blew it.

Furthermore, she gave away more visitation time than I agreed to. I had a written statement that my ex could visit on alternate Wednesdays...she gave the ex every Wednesday. On Fridays when there is no school, I get them until noon. But on Mondays when there is no school, she gets them until 5PM. And because I fought to put the kids in school with me, they gave her an extra 26 days during the summer. These are all things I didn't agree to, never received the document for review before it went to the judge, and never signed it. I'm not trying to keep the kids from their mother, I just want a fair resolution. With this plan I basically get downtime with the kids M/T/TH, while she gets
W/F/S/Sun, and most of the summer. This is not acceptable to me, nor do I think it is fair.
I feel like I was railroaded by both attorneys who just wanted to get through this case.

My first hearing is in a few weeks. Right now we are working on the financial part of the case. So the situation is getting sticky.
I want to talk to her about the custody thing, but don't want her to get too ruffled to care about the financials.

I want to fire my lawyer, and report her. But it is getting down to the wire, and finding a new lawyer, and getting one up to speed seems dangerous.

What are my rights here? Can I ask my attorney to file for a modification of the custody agreement? Would it be worthwhile going to another attorney?

ScottGem

I agree, this will allow your ex to postpone matters until she obtains new counsel. This leaves you in the same position until she does. I don't know if this is good or bad for you. If you need to hurry things, your attorney can try to hurry things.

familyman2

I understand what you all are saying. I guess the delay might help me, being that the longer the kids are in school here the less likely a judge will allow the ex to remove them.

My question is a hypothetical one: Being that this is a small town and all lawyers and judges know each other, how big of a negative effect can this have on the exes case?
Won't other lawyers be hesitant to take on such a client? Is this something that happens often, where a lawyer essentially fires a client? I've never heard of it. How would you handle this situation if you were me? Are there ways to use this to your advantage?

Incidentally, we have filed with the court to have an expedited hearing to address this issue. Hopefully, we can get this rolling before another attorney enters the case.

I'm walking through the dark here, and learning as I go...

Take care!

talaniman

There is always a lawyer to take her case, but they may require a big retainer. LOL!! Your correct in assuming this helps your kids stay in school, but don't get comfortable, or cocky at this point in time. I put nothing past your ex.

familyman2

OK...here's another strange twist...

My ex-to-be has seemingly vanished! She brought the kids back on Tuesday the 19th, and I have not seen nor heard from her since. I emailed over the course of the subsequent days relating to child issues and schedules. I didn't get any response. Then she didn't show up for her Tuesday visitation. Then the weekend came and another no show. Her sister called to see if I could bring them to her (claiming that my ex was coming home late).
I was very skeptical. The kids ended up staying with me anyway because they were invited to a local sleepover. I had emailed my ex during the week in reference to it, without one response. I ended up having them the whole weekend. Her sister called again Saturday morning to ask if I was bringing them to their karate class. I asked her where my ex was and she said that she was probably at her house. (Can you smell a cover up here?). I called the house...no answer, I called her sister back...no answer...

Then she missed more child visits this past week. And now it is another Friday, and I am supposed to bring the kids to her for the weekend. But she still hasn't returned any emails or calls. The kids will remain with me until this mystery is resolved. I can't call her family because they won't give me a straight answer; or the truth.

So I am baffled. She is in the middle of a pretty bitter divorce. She has not paid me the money the courts ordered her to pay. She has not paid her atty, who has recently withdrawn from the case. And now we are approaching the mediation stage.
She has picked a bad time to go AWOL. By not keeping me informed as to her whereabouts and by blowing off her custody time this can't look too good on her resume.

I guess it is ironic to be very concerned, however.

talaniman

Weird, for sure, but you did right keeping the kids with you, and not listening to anyone else, as no telling whats up. She may just have needed a break after all those downturns she has been thru. This is when you have to be more cautious, and alert.

familyman2

Cautious and alert in the sense this could be a game she is playing? Or that she is planning to run off with the kids, or spinning this against me, etc...?

If she is taking a break it is a break from her kids as well, and I personally would view this as anything but a break. But she can be irrational, so anything is possible.

Has she been incarcerated, or institutionalized, or severely injured? Who knows...I really hope it isn't the later.

talaniman

It could be anything. I hope its not serious, but be alert as her history suggest she is devious.

Delilah P

Definitely something is going on and her sister knows what it is since she has called you. Your sister-in-law even said she would be arriving home late and/or was probably at home. For whatever reason, your soon-to-be-ex-wife is in touch with her sister. Have you alerted your attorney to what has been going on .. for the record? Yes, I agree .. she definitely has been devious in the past, so you must be careful. Keep your attorney updated. Don't allow anyone else to have your children unless it is clearily specified in writing somewheres that you are to do so. Make sure your children know NOT to go off with anyone while at school (when not in your sight). Please keep us updated.

familyman2

Right... I will not take my eyes off of them. Great idea about getting in writing as to where I should take them. I don't think I will accept letting them go with anyone but my ex.
I did leave a message for my lawyer on Friday. She is very difficult to reach, but at least there is a record I called in referernce to this latset issue.

I called her sister again yesterday, and tried to get an answer. Her response was that she doesn't really speak with her sister much because their relationship is not very good. This may be true but I find it hard to believe that she is unaware as to her sister's whereabouts.
She also said it was my fault for not droppong my kids off with her last weekend (the accorn....!). I just let that one go. I kept pushing for an answer but got nothing.
I am considering filing a missing person's report. Maybe they will get some answers.

If my ex happens to just return to earth and ask for the kids, what should I do? What questions do I ask if any? Do I just return them with no questions asked? Do I return them without getting something in writing, etc...?

talaniman

Beyond the agreed upon visitations, just say no. I doubt she will give any answers. Letting your lawyers know what has happened is prudent, and assuming she still works, you will always be able to track her down. Just do your homework, and be discreet in what you do. Be a good idea, to know something about this fellow. I honestly feel she was just going thru her sister, to get her kids for a regular visit, and keep her whereabouts, secret from you, but staying alert, can't hurt.