It has been six years for me and my ex is still cruel. The weird thing is he blames me and tries to turn the story around and 'twist' things as though it's me. Many of my friends and family have said how sad it is that he has become so bitter and actually feel he has become mentally ill - which by the way saddens me more than I can say. I could go on for days to be honest but I will spare you from that. What I can say is that I know the restricted feeling around your rib cage and know that your tears are probably ALWAYS close to the surface.
The point is you will never know the real reason. There are probably many, many emotions he is suffering from.
All you can do is work on you. I ended up getting very involved in personal development. I knew that if I wanted to get past this, all I could do was grow and heal myself. I also knew it was abundantly clear I would need strength to do this.
As far as my ex goes, although I will always wish him the best, there is nothing I personally can do for him. He will only believe what he already has brainwashed himself into thinking, hence acting the way he does.
I am thankful that I was able to find a way to re-wire my mind and keep distance from allowing it to ruin my life. As it happens the personal development aspect has turned into much more than personal healing as I am now very involved in helping others in the same position and have been able to help them re design their lives and set out on a different path.
Nothing completely takes the pain away, but it is possible to create new joy to over ride it.
If you need a hand, contact me at any time.