I feel stupid. I'VE BEEN MARRIED 4 YEARS BUT IT SEEMS LONGER. MY HUSBAND IS A DRUG USER. EVERYTIME I GET PAID, HE GOES INTO MY ACCOUNT AND TAKES MONEY. HE PRETENDS HE IS GOING TO CHANGE AND USES ME EVERYTIME HE HAS NO MONEY, PLACE TO STAY OR EAT. I'VE TRIED TO KICK HIM OUT BUT THE LAW SAYS WE ARE MARRIED AND I CAN'T. I LIVE IN FLORIDA. HE PUSHED OUR 4 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IN THE HEAD LAST WEEK BECAUSE OF ANGER. I DON'T QUALIFY FOR ANY ASSISTANCE BUT I CAN BARELY MAKE IT. WE HAVE 3 KIDS AND I PAY ALL OF THE BILLS. I GOT MY OWN ACCOUNT SO I CAN HIDE MONEY BUT I'M TIRED OF LIVING THIS WAY. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO A SHELTER BUT I'M DESPARATE. SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE. I'VE ENABLED HIM TOO LONG. FEEL LIKE I'M IN A NIGHTMARE. I'VE LOST SO MUCH AND FINALLY GOT MY KIDS STABLED BUT HE IS STARTING OVER AGAIN WITH HIS RELAPSES. HE HAS BEEN IN AND OUT OF PROGRMS. PLEASE HELP ME WITH SOLUTIONS. THANK YOU.

N0help4u

Something isn't right here because I don't see how they can make someone that is abusing a child stay.
Child Protective Services would have a different take on this saying your daughter should not be around an abuser but then I don't think they would actually do anything but make you make him leave or lose your kid if he refuses.

450donn

Pack yourself and the kids up and move to a shelter, back home with your parents, somewhere where he cannot get to you. Close any accounts that he has access to and put all of your money into only a secure account. Hire a lawyer, and file for divorce. If necessary you get CPS involved. You do what ever necessary to protect your children and yourself from abuse. This is non negotiable!

Jake2008

Why do you stay.

If things are so desperate, and you keep repeating this nightmare every time he relapses, why is a shelter not something you would consider.

You need to put your needs aside and realize that you are raising three children in a very destructive, dysfunctional, emotionally damaging environment. They are being raised to see your energy and emotional upset as 'normal', and their father's behaviour as 'normal'. This is very unhealthy, and you are choosing to stay.

What could possibly be worse that what you have now.

Women's shelters are there for a reason, even if you need to be protected from yourself, in order to provide a safe haven for your children.

They have to come first, and that's all there is to it. Do the right thing, get out, get your life together, and only then will you have a stable life.