I was with my ex for over four years. A month ago she decided to tell me she no longer loves me and it was over! We have 2 boys. She will only let me see them at the weekends. I've tried to moved on but i cant!! Ive been txting her, emailing her ringing er and even set her a letter. All of this because i love her and want to be with her and my boys. She says im starking her and she wants nothing to do with me. Everytime i go around my little boys starts crying saying he does not want me to go!! She told me the other day he also cry's when im not there asking why daddy is not there and when is he coming back?!! she reckons its my fault and that im using them emotionally!! I miss them so much and love them so much!! I then start thinking about her with some one else holding hands kissing and i get my self in such a state that i cant explain!!! I love her so much. how do i move on? i've tried going out but everything reminds me off her. music tv it all reminds me off her!! what do i do?? help !!!
i feel so stupid because i see her on facebook flirting with every to, and harry and inviting them bk 2 da house.
First off YOU need to stay off facebook and I would assume your trying to fish information about your ex from others. DO NOT do this. I did this and found out she had a new boyfriend. I was crushed. Sometimes what you don't know wont hurt you. In time you WILL heal. Trust me on this, but it takes time.
First off YOU need to stay off facebook and I would assume your trying to fish information about your ex from others. DO NOT do this. I did this and found out she had a new boyfriend. I was crushed. Sometimes what you don't know wont hurt you. In time you WILL heal. Trust me on this, but it takes time.
I agree. Your only setting yourself up for some major hurt. I've done it and it sucks. B/c it comes across like there bragging about there new relationship.
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After 4/5 years my broke up with me with me. she has kept the house and our 2 boys. Its been 6 weeks and im in bits but she has some one all ready! how do i move on? should i find some else?
No, you shouldn't find someone else. Don't put the burden of your lonliness and sorrow on someone else's shoulders. First and foremost, you need to concentrate on your life, your kids and your career. Get yourself together as a complete person again before you even think about dating someone.
its 3 months today since my ex of 4/5 years and mother of my 2 boys kicked me out! i've tried everything to move on but i cant! she decided to tell today that she is with sum one else! it killed me. i dont know what else to do! its eating me inside this other guy in my house in my bed watching my tv with my boys! please help i dnt know what else to do and how much more i can take!
she decided she no longer wanted to b with me no longer loved me! she has kept the house and i had 2 move bk in 2 my parents house! i was seeing the boys and th wk but she is trying to stop me from seeing them! she is a class a bitc* and i have no idea why i cnt just move on and forget her!!
First of all, why the "hell-o" did you allow her to "kick" you out of the marital residence and have another guy move in in your place? Any legal precedent will regard a marital residence as just that ; a home, whether owned or rented, for the benefit of the two of you and your children. Nobody else has rights to it unless you both consent. And one spouse doesn't have the right to simply "kick out" the other just because she doesn't want to be with him anymore. This holds true even if she singularly bought the home before you even met, then you ended up moving in. You say you've been together for 4/5 years. That's more than enough time, so the home is now marital property regardless of who originally bought it, like it or not. Now if the other spouse is made to leave by court order, that's something else again, but that would only happen in the case of substantial abuse and/or endangerment. I guess what's done is done and I don't want to preach to you, but frankly I would've made her move out. That's exactly what I did when my old lady told me she didn't want to be with me anymore. I pointed out the front door and told her that if she wanted to leave there weren't any bars or chains on it keeping her there but that I wasn't going anywhere. And I didn't.
What's done is done. You're out of the house. How do you move on?
Were you married to her? If so, divorce. If the children are yours, you're on their birth certificate a parenting plan needs to be done. Whether you were married or not, if the boys are yours, child support will need to be paid. If the children live primarily with you, she will pay child support. In any case, the kids need to see you, their dad, regularly, a court order can support visitation.
So, how do you move on? Take steps to legalize the present situation. Find a lawer to guide you through the process. Plan for the future of your sons and do plenty of paper and footwork. You'll be glad you did.
Some relationships end suddenly, some erode over time. Whatever the circumstances, breaking up is a bleak time for all involved.
For most people, it's a shock when a relationship breaks down. Even if you've known for some time that things aren't working out, the final decision to part will stay with you for a long time.
Understanding why your relationship failed is the first step towards recovery. Many people get locked into questioning: Whose fault it is? What did I do wrong? How could they do that to me? This is understandable, but a more positive approach is to focus on the relationship, rather than individual responsibility.
Although the answers may be upsetting, the greater the understanding, the easier it'll be to let go and move on. During this time you'll experience many emotions, including anger, sadness, guilt and confusion.
The children must be very upset and confused by this sudden new man in not only their lives but thier home , I think on a persoanl level your wife is not at all thinking about her children.This is undoubtedly one of the toughest times to be a parent, but your children need to know what's happening. You may think that hiding the severity of the situation protects them but it does not.The amount of information you give them will depend on their ages, but they should be encouraged to ask as many questions as they need. Remember, you don't have to hide your feelings to reassure them that they're loved. In fact, sharing appropriately what you feel will help them make sense of their own emotions and feel OK about showing them.
You need to contact a solicitor and do it now to arrange access rights to your children , she has no right (unless you were a danger to the children) to stop you from having regualar contact - THIS MADDENS ME but this is not the place for me to rant about women who meet a new guy and put them before their children!!!!!!But PLEASE PLAESE when you do regain contact with your little ones do not spend all the time you have with them asking about mummies new life with the new guy!!!!
After a relationship breakdown, many people find themselves struggling with feelings of low self-esteem and self-confidence, and with so many things to organise it can be easy to forget to give yourself time for your own feelings. Be gentle with yourself and gratefully receive all the support you can get from friends and family and us here are here to help and listen.
If you are having difficulty getting over it and still feel dreadful then its time to seek professional help not because you are abnormal but because lack of understanding can make you feel worse. To recover you must start having emotional faith in yourself once again.
Don't drown your sorrows, you'll only feel worse.
Keep to a healthy routine.
Be nice to yourself - pamper yourself.
Exercise - even just walking with a friend.
Make a plan for the future. Set some new goals.
Keep busy, don't spend too much time on your own.
Change your routine, join a class and meet new people.
Don't rush to find a replacement. Take time to recover first.
The above were a few tips I wrote down and tried to do myselfe. I am sure there were more but can not think off the top of my head.
Do not do what many of us have done or would do and that is sit around going over and over it - it has happened - nothing you can do to change the past - BUT you can change the future. The future is now being a fantastic father to your children who at this time need you to be there for them.
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