What is your source for that statement? It would seem to me that in the rare cases that women are ordered to pay support, they would most likely be able to afford it.


I wouldn't doubt that our system is so flawed. But I wonder if you have done anything to try to modify the payments.


Have you read the other responses on that. As peviously noted giving parental rights does NOT relieve you of financial responsibility.

Well, you might have got the raw end of the deal but I am here to tell you that it's not always the case. I get $275.00 per month. That doesn't even pay half of my child's daycare. Does that sound fair?

You can take her to court for a child support modification. The court will review your income and expenses. If they feel you are paying too much they will lower it.. or The judge may just tell you to get a second job..

Hi Scottgem,

Yes I now see that waiving rights is not an option. I have one of the worst scenarios I have ever seen - literally. Getting a 2nd job solves nothing since most of what I earn is eaten up by taxes and an a child support system that goes up as a percentage. It is like a dog chasing it's tail. Paying support for 1 or 2 children is easy. I have 4. My ex is abusive and self destructive. Mentally unsound. She is disabled in part by her own hand, something that occurred after the divorce. She garners sympathy and is a Jeckyl & Hyde person. I look like the "bad guy". Try fighting an abusive disabled woman.

I would prefer to build wealth for the children. But she blows all the money on fast food and living the high life by her definition. In the end she'll be dead as her health is going downhill, I'll be bankrupt and the children will have nothing. I refuse to give this abuser $$$ which does not go for the care of the children. Great system we have (Sarcasm). In this case - the system IS failing my children.

I really feel bad for you guys because you actually care about your kids. It's just that you are being taken advantage of. It sucks that the system fails some of us. You are paying too much and my ex isn't paying enough. It sucks! Good luck! Don't give up your rights for your kids sake! Fight for your kids! They deserve it.

If she is that unstable and isn't using the child support to properly support the children, then bring this up in court and have the kids live with you.

Firearcher, I just wanted to say how very sorry I am that you ended up in that position. I have represented many men who have been ordered to pay extraordinary amounts of support, and, consequently, they are living with their parents again, or alone and below the poverty level. It is a sad fact that courts often refuse to look at someone's EXPENSES when allocating support, and only look at their INCOME. This is the primary reason that I push couples toward mediation and staying out of court whenever possible. I am truly sorry for you, and hope that as your children age, your burden will ease.

Thank you for the replies. I wish there were easy answers but I've found none for myself personally and I suspect my future is in prison because I cannot pay the amounts of support without paying rent & food. If I pay the support - I have nothing left for food & rent. So I will become what they call a dead beat dad who does not want to support his kids statistically yet that is untrue. I totally understand why men are driven to suicide or they just crack and commit murder. I don't agree with it - but I understand it and there are days I nearly lose it myself. The primary interest of the court is to "do what is best for the children". As an adult I would reduce my standard of living so that my father (or mother) has a decent standard equal to my own. But jaded ex spouses are in control and it is THEIR best interests that are served and NOt the children's. WE adults are somebody's CHILDREN. Depriving people of a parent is not the answer. Driving a parent to suicide is not it. Giving copious amounts of money is not the answer. That's how our children get into drugs, alcohol, etc. The custodial parent is not required to provide receipts nor is their income taken into account. If the father made $10,000 per annum and the mother $1 million, he would pay support that would leave him with about $8000 in my case. This would mean that if the couple were still together that a household making $1010,000 per year would spent at MOST $10,000 on the children because it's 50/50. In reality households do not operate that way yet the guidelines do not reflect this. Somehow - this child support system in Canada & the USA needs a rehaul - Big time. And unless people get together and demand revisions nothing will get done.

I'm extremely angry over this system which has been influenced by the feminist movement. We were all children once. Children now will become adults. Indeed we need to do what is best. The current system is not it.