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i am realy not happy in my life and i cry everyday and he lets people talk bad stuff to me and he never treats me good he hits me and he calls me out of my name i love him but i no i have to leave him but it hurts so much
and i dont know how to leave him with out getting hurt my frist time and i dont know how to start or even wish way to go i have no money because i have know job and i have know were to go because i have know family here
i agree with the above - for your own sanity and well being just go anywhere just take the smallest oppurtunity and leave. You only have to get yourself to a neighbours house and ask for help , there are so many kind people out there that are just waiting to help you all you need to figure out is getting out the door let people help you!
Hon, you need to look in the yellow pages and call a shelter. If there isn't one, go to your local emergency room or police department and tell them you have left an abusive spouse, are in fear, broke and have nowhere to go. Ask if they will help you find somewhere to go. There are programs and they will connect you with resources.
Even if you have to go down the street and ask someone you don't know for a ride or call to the police or hospital, you will find generally people are good and will get you to a safe place if you simply ask.
As for being away from your loved ones, this will pass. His life is miserable and he's convinced you that his life is, and must remain your life. There is something beautiful in this life for you but you have to take th first step.
Don't tell him you are leaving. Pack what you can carry, and never look back. You will be surprised what you can get in terms of help and the less you have, the more you will be eligible to get some help. It can be humiliating at first, but we all have to take our lumps in life and some are harder than we ever thought we'd ever have to go through. Do what needs doing, don't worry about what's best for him, and never talk to him again.
I have a cousin who was being beaten and through our family, we arranged for her to go to a state where he doesn't even know we have relatives. She filed for a restraining order, which permited her to file for divorce without his being aware of where she resides. Her lawyer is in the state she lived in with her husband and he got a court order to protect her address. She has found a job and got an apartment, with a lot of help from others.
Many women have been beaten and abused and got out. The trick is to prevent him from knowing you're leaving, and to be out of state before he realizes you've gone. A good women's shelter can hook you up with the help you need to get to the other side - the happy side - of life.
Nobody should be beaten, nobody should have to feel like you do. It is not love and is never part of a loving relationship. Love does not hurt, it feels warm and comforting. Your partner does not know how to love, and you are not in a position of enough power to change or teach him so you need to save yourself.
Take care and know that even though I don't know you, I care deeply for your safety and wellfare and you are in my prayers.
I was in an extremely abusive marriage for 10 years. I spent so much time in the emergency room because of him. I still have physical disabilities 19 years later because of him. I left him 7 times before I finally left for good. It's hard. It's really, really hard at first. I thought I would go crazy! I realize now that it was like being brainwashed into believing that somehow you deserved it or caused it. It's just not true!!!! I look back on those years and ask myself "What was I thinking!!!" That's not love. I didn't deserve that. I wouldn't put up with that crap now for nobody. My life has turned out so much beautiful than I ever would have thought possible. Everyday is my gift day from God. Please listen to everyone's advice about getting away. It is one of the most dangerous times in a woman's life when she is leaving an abuser. Just leave and don't look back. Don't look back! Stay focused on the road ahead. It's worth it. You're worth it.
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