[markthommo]

I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 3 years

I'm 19, second year at university and living at home.

She's 18, first year at university and living away.

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Since she went away to uni in September we can only manage to see each other every 5/6 weeks for a few days, and then 1/2 weeks at holidays.

This is due to me working weekends in order to run my car - so can't get weekends off often.

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Last time I saw her was 3 weeks ago - I went to see her - and we had a great time- we both agreed that we were the best we've ever been.

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Two weeks ago she phoned me in tears saying she was all confused as she's met some guy and likes him more than she should. But then she admitted that she did only LIKE him, and she LOVED me so much and speaking to me on the phone put this into perspective - she didn't want to throw our 3 year relationship away - it was all over in a couple of days and we were back to normal - phone calls and text messages every day.

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3 days ago she phoned me again in tears saying she wants to break up and be single. She says she has always doubted we could last, and has always had a problem with my quietness (im a quite shy person and don't say more than I have to to people)
She says she loves me, but wants to experience being single as she hasn't had the chance to do so. She said she'd like to have a break, but didn't want to leave me hanging. She said it was for her sake and mine.

She is home this weekend for 2 weeks, and she says when she sees me she may reallise she's been stupid and want me, but she doubts it.

I would like advise on what to do. I don't quite understand why she has suddenly decided she wants to be single when only 3 weeks ago we were fantastic. I would like some females to try and explain to me what is in her head, and some advice from male/femail on what I should do/say to her now and at the weekend when I see her..

She says if she decides to be single she wants to remain friends. I don't know how to cope with this. She is my only proper girlfriend and I'm her only proper boyfriend - she has been with me since just before her 16th birthday.

I appreciate ANY advice whatsoever.
Thanks,
A heartbroken 19 year old who's stomach is doing backflips :-/

[moonchild]

Hey
Sorry to hear of your dilema and I don't know if this will be of much help, but I'm in a similar situation except for being the female partner. I have been with my bofriend for 3y years in July, we started dating exactly 1 week after my 16th birthday.
He's four years older than me and to begin with I was really pleased to be dating someone with so much more experience than me, now however we are living together and I'm at uni so I'm seeing all my single friends enjoying their single status and the freedom to do what they want with who they want. Simlpy I feel I am missing out on a time in my life when I should be able to do what I want, however I love my boyfriend and being in a serious relationship at the same time. Its alll very confusing and in a way wanting the best of both worlds
I know its not fair on you, and I'm sure shestill loves you but at this stage of life we want to experience all we can while we can. I assure you that the decision that she came to was not reached lightly and she was probably considering it along time before you even realise.
If you love her as much as your conveying give her what she needs but keep the lines of communication open, if you can cope with it there's always a possibility of reconciliation in the future escpecially with these type of break ups.
Don't be hard on yourself , in this case it really wasn't you it was her.

Still confused myself,New Zealand

[LaneT.T.1]

Moonchild is right. Is something that happens. I lost my girlfriend after 3 years. After that I made 4 Suicide attempts. But then I realized. That's not the only thing in the world. (Then all the other bad things started happening.) But its all about you. Think about yourself. And live it out.

[pdiaz09]

I totally understand where she(your ex) is coming from. Don't put yourself down because its not your fault at all. She just needs time to herself, and in the end it will make our break your relationship. I was in the same situation with my boyfriend of nearly 3 years he was going off to college while I'm still finishing up my senior year in high school. I was with him since I was 14. That's too young to be in such a serious relationship & I wanted to be single and experience new things, its only human. It's better to take a break now then to get married and realized you never got a chance to really live and be free when you were young. If she comes back then you know its real and will last. If not better things will come. But if you really love her don't give up, keep waiting until she's ready. But don't sit home, go out and make the best out of it. It goes both ways if she wants freedom, you deserve it to! Just have fun and fate will determine the rest.